Case of the Disappearing Cookie. Various Photo Shoot of Cookie & Flowers too!

in #funny6 years ago

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As my favorite professor in college always say, “You have to have levity in life.”

I told @funkylove when she nominated me for the #comedyopenmic contest, I have no funny bone in me! Here is my attempt at being funny. I am intentionally eliminating myself from winning a prize from the #comedyopenmic contest. This post is made for my own research purposes, but done in a fun way! I saw a user earn $800+ in reward pool earnings simply by posting the logo and link to the contest. Why not give it a shot myself? I might gain some followers that like my lame sense of humor. 😍

How It All Started


DC and I were chatting the other day about a post on cookies that made it to Trending. The professional photograph enticed me into click-baiting, which then led to my drooling over the scrumptious looking cookies. After all, there were nine bomb-ass photos of the delectable treat, all taken from different angles. The headliner “PHOTO SHOOT” would lead users to presume the collage of cookie shots to come. Head shot, side view, even the aerial view from above. There is even that sexy pose if you look close enough.

DC decided to do a review on the food joint 5 Guys with his click-n-bait headliner. Valid effort but guess he’s not sexy enough with his car racing events promoting Steemit. His post earned him nowhere near the 300 pesos he was shooting for (unless $1 SBD is now equivalent to $16 USD = 300 pesos). Now it’s my turn to do a photo shoot post..of sorts. Guess my topic choice? Yep, cookies! Well, one chocolate cookie to be exact. You are forewarned, my cookie post will make you want to drive or walk to your nearest Wawa. If you don’t have a Wawa nearby, there is always Chips Ahoy!

Sappy Childhood Story (there is always one)


My fondest memory of a chocolate chip cookie is during the Recess period of my elementary school years. At 10:00 AM, students would line up at the classroom door to go outside for a 15-20 minutes Recess period. Recess meant time for fresh air, catching up with the friends you haven’t seen all weekend (a lifetime then!), even playing a round of hopscotch or tetherball. For me, Recess meant a chocolate chip cookie with a small carton of milk.

I lined up amongst everyone else for my chocolate cookie treat. When I made it to the window line, I handed over my $0.50 cents for my cookie delight. The aroma of melting chocolate in cookie dough fragranced the air around us. Nothing beats freshly baked chocolate chip cookies still warm and oozing chocolate drizzles. Not even the Lindt Chocolate Experience can compare.

I occasionally bake chocolate chip cookies, the Pillsbury way, but hey, it does result in the same ooziness deliciousness. Nothing ever came close to that chocolate chip cookie I remember fondly from grade school. Until I hit the motherload! Wawa’s chocolate chip cookie brings me back, back, back to the days of childhood memories, the comforts of a chocolate chip cookie with a carton of milk. The days of simply looking forward to a warm and oozing chocolate chip cookie during the first break of the day, and having that be the shining moment in life.

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Cookie Photo Shoot Session


Of note, there are three things my post won’t be able to compete on with the trending cookie post.

Firstly, my camera was second-in-class for its series four years ago but is now seconds to obsoletion.

Second, I have no time to professionally stage my cookie. No perfect lighting or glitzy background. The cookie was opened in the middle compartment of my car with natural light filtering through the windows. In hindsight, I should have bought two or three cookies to stage them in sexy positions. Everything looks better in hindsight.

Third note, I have no idea how to post-process my photographs. I’m still learning how to use my obsolete camera that has been shelved for the four years I’ve owned it. Consider it lucky that some of the photos are not blurry.

Cookie straight out of the bag

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Close up of said cookie

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Cookie broken in half to showcase the oozing chocolate bits

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My attempt at staging with my fancy schmancy Dunkin Donut iced coffee in the background. America runs on Dunkin!

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Close up of the oozing chocolate drizzle

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Notice one half piece growing smaller in size with every shot?

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One half is now missing from the photo shoot. Hmmm.....

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One small piece left

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All gone. Nothing left to show but my DD iced coffee drink. If only they would give me some advertising kick-backs. I woud happily promote them with a steepshot of my daily DD coffee drink.😊

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Where did the Cookie go?


Source

On to the Recipe!


  1. Insert a couple chopsticks hairsticks into hair because I simply don't have the time to style my hair anymore. Make sure to stay 3 feet away from strangers so I don't poke anyone in the eye with my fabulous hairdo.

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    Source

  2. Get in my SUV which is a gas-guzzler and environmentally unfriendly BUT is one of the best safety rated. Safety is first and foremost when you have children. Plus, I can't park anymore without my rear-view camera. 🙄

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    Source

  3. Drive to the closest Wawa. Once there, place your order for a chocolate chip cookie under "Snacks". The cookie will be warmed-up for ya!

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    Source

  4. Wait for your number to be called, and you will be rewarded a cookie for all your effort! Here's a photo someone shared from Yelp. See, I'm not the only fan.

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Source

Why am I Disqualifying Myself from the Contest?


Here is why I am disqualifying myself from the #comedyopenmic contest (aside from not having a funny bone in me). One of the rules is NO bidbots. How am I to experiment if I don't follow the same steps as the trending post on cookies? Or the one that earned $800+ simply for an image, a link, and a "Follow" statement?

Following the scientific method: Ask a Question, Research, Construct a Hypothesis, and finally Test. Let's see the results?

I'm normally too prissy of a girl to think my content is worthy of the Trending page. As I mentioned above, this post is for research purposes. The @transparencybot will pay me a visit and that is a truth I've accepted. I'll take a ding to my Reputation to see this research through. I will even throw in some lovely flower photographs below to justify the use of bidbots. Those make it to Trending too right? 😉

Flower photographs for more of your viewing pleasure.


Unless sourced, all photos are taken with a Nikon D7000 with the most basic lens. Please note author photographer is just learning how to use the camera. Amateur is an understatement.

Cherry blossoms photo taken yesterday

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Tulips from my garden

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My flowers waving to you as we say goodbye. Don't let the branches hit ya!

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Dear Redfishes and Minnows:


If you've made it this far, be sure to stop by and read about the $0.02 sbd DUST threshold. Learn why your upvote worth is deemed dust if your upvote worth is not at $0.02/$0.03. Use your upvotes wisely!

My Two Cents for Your Thoughts - Anything Less and YOU won't get PAID!

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Thank you for stopping by! Have a BEE-ATIFIC day!

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Beeyou logo by@seaslim

Nominations: since this can't be construed as an official submission to the #comedyopenmic (many rules that I've broken), there is no need to nominate. I will throw out a bunch of names. Many have already participated in the contest and some are waiting for inspiration. If my lame effort isn't inspiration enough, what will do it?

So @doomsdaychassis, @palikari123, @profranereviews, @bifilarcoil, @amariespeaks, and @pretty.dorky: Have at it!

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