Relationship Calamities Series: #2 Setting Ridiculously High Standards of Ideal Conduct In front of Boo and Sinking in Despair when That Goes to Shit

Considering that you’re in mad love with your boo, would you ever want to let them go? I’m guessing no. How many years would that be, about 3, 4 decades if you’re lucky? That’s 30 years, 360 months and about 10800 days (I used a calculator for this math, please no hate if I still got it wrong, math and I were always at odds). Anyway, that’s a really long time to not fuck up, guys.

When we picture our life with our boo, and eventually, little boo’s shitting their diapers and running around all rabid and crazed, an image of utter perfection comes to mind – the boo is already perfect to us, but surprisingly, we glorify ourselves with perhaps (for women, I speak) the perfect sun-tan, the perfect slow-mo hairflip and maybe doing a nice beach-suit shoot with the body of a Victoria Secret’s angel… point is, we tend to never associate our future selves with the human ability of f**king things up to a HUGE level. That’s because our brains avoid thinking of negatives, naturally, a defense mechanism many of us are familiar with. That’s delusional though, and by the way, while we’re at it, our brains are way more treacherous than our hearts – they just hide it better, those damned intellectual entities! It always hurts us too, one way or another. The standards you allow your brains to devise for your ideal demeanor with boo will ricochet off walls and go straight up your tushie – for the gist of it.

Your boo will be there on the sick days when you’ve got a drippy nose and a gassy tummy, boo will be there when you accidentally forgot that the toilet isn’t working (Damn that one!) Boo will be there when you’ve had too much to drink with your projectile vomiting incidents. Boo will be there when you get the beer belly and binge on pizza, and boo will be there on your no-shave days. Your boo will see you lose your shit and cry a damn river over a movie, your boo will see you get nervous and stutter your way into clammy shock, your boo will see you do things that are only expected of airheaded humans. The damn boo will be there ALL THE FRICKING TIME. But hey, that’s what the aim is, right?!

And yet, our world shatters when we make a silly mistake in front of them – like they’d use it against us, maybe silently judge us, or worse, use this as a reason later to not be with us. If boo does that, guys, he/she is not yo real boo! You’ve gotta go get yourselves a real one.

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The reason for this post is: our self-loathing selves slowly succumbing to the despair of regret when we f**k up in front of boo. It’s worse than Cersei’s walk of shame,
and that’s really not cool #1. It’s as dysfunctional as it gets, and also means that you might end up holding a lot of truth from boo, which is lying by omission, so not cool #2, and might end up in a relationship that goes no deeper than just the shiny surface of your makeup, so not cool #3. This is not a real relationship, and you might as well be sad and single with your Hagen Dazs, drooling over an episode of Vampire Diaries snuggled in your blanket all by yourself. Seriously, time for a mental health check-up.

What we should do:

You see someone you like, if you’re lucky, you’re friends first. This helps you understand your boo-to-be in a way that you otherwise wouldn’t. They slowly unveil their flaws and invite you to do things together – catch movies, get high, the usual! You start to feel butterflies and you begin to notice their smiles. And before you know it, you’re in love! You don’t regret the ugly moments of being friends, though. You cherish the little things, the imperfections that make them oh-so-delectable to you. So, you take the high road of honesty and transparency, and the occasional slip in demeanor, or the occasional f**k-up is discussed and fixed amongst the two of you. The road to understanding another is limitless, and assuming you’ve reached a victorious end is as juvenile as the title itself. So, what if you’ve occasionally let yourself down in front of boo? If you constantly live in the fear of being judged by your soulmate, life would become hard! Instead, you let them into the questionable parts of your limited selves, and let them see the imperfections in you, and quid quo pro each other into oblivion!

It is the little f**k ups that bring us closer to our soulmate, and it is the only way of growing old with the boo of your life.

Note: All photos taken from Google and GIFs from Giphy

Let's hear what you all think. <3