Fat men don't wear plaid

Growing up fat, I knew not to wear certain colors. I had to stop wearing purple , because Barney the stupid dinosaur, became so popular.

Then I wore an orange shirt once and I became Tang boy. When I used yellow they used to say, "here comes the solar eclipse, he blocks out everything".

I used to wear whatever fit that day and didn't really care what they used to call me, as long as it was comfortable.

I tried vertical stripes one time but they weren't really vertical, I looked like a watermelon. Horizontal stripes make me look thinner, as long as they are on the top of my shirt. If they go around my belly, I look like a moon pie.

One of the worse patterns that I ever tried was plaid, all the little squares turned to circles. I looked like a new aged checker board.

I'm glad I don't wear white anymore, being called Humpty Dumpty was one of the worse names ever, and that was just from my family. 🐷

Story and photo by Bruni

https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-134-5-minute-freewrite-friday-prompt-plaid

@fireawaymarmot rocks