Visit

in #freewrite6 years ago (edited)

Her grandchildren settled around the room in familiar order. At the center of the large couch was Vince, squeezed between his four sisters. The other, less favored descendants took what chairs or armrests they could find while a handful of their own children sat right on the floor.

The rest were in the kitchen or running around outside, along with all the spouses and significant others. There wasn’t enough room—there hadn’t been for decades—but their presence somewhere on the property was still mandatory.

“It’s so nice to have everyone here with me,” said Gloria. “For once.”

There was a murmur of something like agreement from around the room.

“It’s been over a decade!” she continued. This was one of her favorite subjects, how rarely she could rope all fifteen of them and their families into visiting at the same time.

“Well, it’s tough when everyone’s so spread out these days,” said Heidi. She turned to her brother, no mean feat when she was wedged so tightly in place. “Vince had to come all the way from Mars.”

Gloria pursed her lips and looked angrily towards the couch. A wave of raised eyebrows and speaking looks passed through the room.

“I don’t see you have to be there in the first place,” she said.

“My job, Grammie. You know that.”

“There’s plenty of jobs here,” she said decisively. “Going all the way there… It only opens the way for letting those Martians come here whenever they like.”

Of course they weren’t Martians at all, not in the real sense. She should have known better than any of them, having been alive for the Great Migration, but everyone was reluctant to correct her and set her off on her second favorite topic.

Everyone except a lanky teenager who looked up from unwrapping a Werther’s. Ashby had only a dim memory of the last time she was here and no idea why her own father was sitting mutely by.

“They’re humans just like us. Why shouldn’t they come here?” she asked.

Gloria huffed and began her diatribe. Though her rapidly delivered words were sharp and angry sounding, anyone looking at her flashing eyes might suspect she was enjoying herself.

Vince sighed and looked at Heidi.

“Just like every visit,” he said in an undervoice. “Why’d you have to bring up Mars?”


This was inspired by the #freewrite prompt by @mariannewest: visit.


Image by Gaelle Marcel.

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Excellent!
Again, your prose is clean and polished.
I love ((this)): A wave of raised eyebrows and ((speaking)) looks passed through the room.
And wonder if you're missing a word here:
“I don’t see //why// you have to be there in the first place,” she said.
Everyone who's ever had grandparents probably knows this phenomenon (favorite topics): .... but everyone was reluctant to correct her and set her off on her second favorite topic. Love it!
And the women... Heidi just had to mention the word Mars, and Ashby just had to state the obvious in defense of the Martians, and of course there are favorites - another universal truth when it comes to grandparents (most of them, anyway)! You pack a lot in here!

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