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RE: Mom's Cousin Lenna the Tart - Part 4 -Day 593: 5 Minute Freewrite: Prompt: carnation

in #freewrite5 years ago

I adore this one too! I never got back to you on yesterday's.
Where to begin?
Sandy could speak until the cows came home, but she was really telling no-name protagonist (does she have a name?) what she already knew, having come from a long line of women who can put it far more simply, "if you're married to an asshole, get out." I hope we've seen the end of Sandy as well as Dwayne.
Is this the first stop the woman who moves right in with a bunch of college boys made? I can't remember her name - Doris?
I have to go take a shower and get out of here, or I would have a lot more to say.

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Oh no poor Sandy - I am a Sandy!
I kept her nameless because she has lost her identity and is on her way to finding it. Yes, this is the woman who descended on the college boys. Did she give them her real name? Should I keep her separate from this woman? I seem to have an arsenal of women who suddenly decide to revolt in my freewrites. (I almost said "revolting women." That could go either way!) Thanks for reading and commenting. And go, go, write, don't waste too much reading other people's freewrites!!!

hahaha! I meant no offense! I found Sandy self righteous and condescending, which might have something to do with your putting her big words in quotation marks, and made me think Doris-for-now was recounting them sarcastically and feeling judged by Sandy. And might have something to do with my high school boyfriend's marrying s woman named Sandy. Who knows what goes through a reader's mind? Or an audience member's? What matters is that the character is originally genuine (I learned that from you and your essay on originality), and you are the master of that.

I wrote one today! And I liked it! It has seemed impossible for me to write fiction for a while now, like I would never ever be able to do it again. Thankfully a story came out today that I am delighted with. xo

You wrote! and you like what you wrote today! YAY!!!!!

For sure, "Doris-for-now" (oooh, I like that! I'm stealing this little literary trick from you!) was feeling judged by Sandy. And feeling kinda less-intelligent for not rattling off all those textbook terms like Sandy does.
But I love unreliable narrators.
And I keep hoping that readers will bear with the narrator and root for her as she starts coming to her senses and developing this sense of "agency" she learned about from Sandy (who, like an older sister, is a little bossy and overbearing).

I like that Sandy supports DFN in making choices that perhaps are less easy to make in DFN's world than they are in Sandy's. And maybe just one HPA violation that helps Sandy see she is a pompous ass sometimes? idk just thinking out loud.

Absolutely no offense taken. I am too much like Sandy. Right down to bandying about the big vocabulary. Drives some family members crazy...

Funny, you got me thinking. Authors are supposed to thwart readers' expectations. I was employing "Unreliable Narrator," a woman who resents the meddling nurse who challenges Mrs. Dwayne's convictions about marriage and if it's possible, or wise, to overcome the conditioning of one's mother. I'm thinking of a specific mother whose daughter followed Mom's model and married mean SOB who's controlling and uncaring. But... what if Sandy is a militant feminist and busy body, and the wife ventures away, only to realize that she belongs with Wayne, come what may, and the backbone she needs to develop is to get Sandy busted for umpteen HPA (patient privacy) violations... here I was seeing Sandy as a woman on a mission to rescue battered wives, but Sandy could be a real battle ax herself. Hmmmmmm.....

well, Mrs. and Mr. Dwayne do have some significant problems and Mrs. Dwayne definitely needs to get away from him at least until he has had some serious anger management training.

lol I just imagined Sandy telling Dwayne how she views him! Can she be as self assured with an abusive man as she is with and abused woman? Can she really walk the walk or just talk it?

GREAT questions! You have given me a plot twist, too. Dwayne, searching for his missing wife, questions Dr. Schandler, and of course the evasive Sandy rouses his suspicion, and they face off.... LOL: if this were TV, we'd watch Sandy find herself attracted to Dwayne and they'd have mad, angry sex in an elevator.

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