Souvenirs - 5 minutes freewrite

in #freewrite6 years ago (edited)

Every summer she went to the same place. It was her week-long beach retreat - the only break she allowed herself. The locals all knew her although she wasn't particularly friendly. Not so young anymore, not much of a beauty, just a decent nondescript woman who tipped well enough for the waiters to greet her with broad smiles.
No one had ever seen her in company or talking on the phone she always kept within reach. She rented a chair on the far side of the beach, where it was less crowded and she would sit for hours, pretending to read a book she'd most probably picked up at the airport. Looking at sea, applying lotion every hour although she always sat under the umbrella, sometimes falling asleep, ignoring the commotion around her: over-excited children, over-worried mothers screaming after their over-excited children, peddlers of all sorts advertising their wares.
When someone went by her chair she'd offer a smile, but no one dared to disturb her privacy.
On the last day of her stay she would take a long walk on the shore. Long flowing dress, broad-rimmed straw-hat, sun-glasses. She would stop from time to time to pick up a shell. Most of the times, she'd just throw it back into the sea, displeased with the color or some flaw. Until she found one that would suit the purpose. Just one. It would go into the mason jar she kept on the mantelpiece, with the other shells from years gone by.
Until next year.

mason jar.jpg

Written as part of the 5 minutes freewrite challenge created by @mariannewest!

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Hi, just dropping by to talk about the reading/prompt delivery. You might want to coordinate with @marcoriccardi since he also is on the sheet for today. Maybe one wants to start on the top of the comments and one on the buttom....
Are you on discord? I am going to have a secret room for the prompt people :) let me know if you are and what your discord name is.

I would be happy if you @marie-jay could take the top half ;)

Will do so next time! I might have started early yesterday... sorry for any inconvenience!

Wow, beautiful piece. I loved how you gave the woman on the beach such a mysterious air. Not off-putting, just reserved :) Thanks for writing!

Actually I didn't like the woman on the beach, but maybe she has something mysterious, something I don't know about her.

Lol. And now we know :) Everyone has a mysterious backstory...until you ask.

The imagery was very well-described, very tropical and beachy. Interesting direction you went with this prompt. Did you start from the picture or did you find the picture afterwards?

Thanks for reading. I had the picture in my mind, just did some digging to find something close enough to my idea.

that's cool. it fits so perfectly!

What a mysterious mean! I'd love to learn more about her why she stays to herself and satisfies herself with collecting shells. She must have quite a story. Great job with this prompt!

Very nicely written. All sorts of speculation about this woman in the comments here. Shows how effective you were in your writing.

Beach is my favorite place.
Thanks for your nice post.

Beautiful story but I want to know why she never spoke!!!!!!!!!!

She did not have much of a family and she didn't like to make friends...probably she was afraid of opening up to people..

I want to know more about her too - but you said that you didn't like her?

When I wrote the story, I didn't like it - I saw her as a woman too set in her ways with no fun in her life. Nothing exciting... but after reading the comments - maybe I misjudged her...maybe I didn't see the drama... who knows?

:) Isn't it funny how our characters become real?

I think she has lots going on in her life and just needs a week of rest...

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