Look the other way (Weekend freewrite)

'How do you do it?' I asked her. 'How do you go on?'
'One step at a time', she answered. 'Literally.' To emphasize this point, she took a few steps down the road, pushing the overflowing cart. God only knew what she had in that cart, covered with a bright yellow plastic sheet, fastened with a leather belt.
I hadn't seen Rachel in over five years and I assumed she'd moved to another city.
'Why would I ever want to leave? This is all I know. All my life is in this city.'
I was horrified and I feared my face would give it away. People like her don't want pity, I told myself, than I slapped myself mentally. It's Rachel, Goddamn it not 'people like her'. You used to be best friends, you've slept in the same bed in summer camp, you borrowed each other clothes.
'Would you like to go back to my place for a cup of coffee, talk about old times. Barry's out of town on business. You can spend the night if you want'.
Busted! She sensed the pity in my voice, shook her head a few times and went away. One step at a time.

'Best not flirt with disaster, let it decide to commit.'
I remembered telling Rachel these words last time I'd seen her. It wasn't just me - we were all worried about her. She was living with a scumbag and she was drinking heavily. She was headed for the gutter - something which I didn't have the heart to tell her - not in as many words, anyway. Back than she still had her house and the money that came from Michael's life insurance. We all told her that guy was in it only for her money, but she wouldn't listen. Or, when she did, she'd answer she didn't care. 'Fuck everything', was her way of ending any conversation that made her uncomfortable.
Maybe it would've made a difference if I'd asked her to come to my place back than, maybe I could've talked some sense into her. But I could smell the booze on her breath and I didn't want Sarah and Lucy to see her. Not a good example for two teenage girls. 'Here's Mom's best friend and she's wasted'. How could I then tell them it was not OK to hang out with those boys who drank beer in the parking lot behind the mall.

It had been my mother's favorite saying: 'Say hi to someone with a smile'. And that's what I had done when I'd ran into Rachel. Ignoring her dirty second hand clothes and the vague smell of urine. Meeting old friends is supposed to be pleasant. Have a nice chat, talk about old times and the family, especially the kids. Rachel and Michael wanted kids, but kept postponing, it was never the right time and than he died. Things would've been different if she'd had a child to cling to.
Maybe I shouldn't have stopped to talk to her, pretend I didn't recognized her. Avoid the awkwardness.
There was nothing to talk about. 'How do you go on?' - that was a really dumb question. Like it wasn't bloody obvious that she's hit rock bottom.
I'd heard she'd lost the house to cover the scumbag's debts, but when she completely dropped of the radar I assumed she wanted a fresh start someplace new.
Maybe I should have insisted on that cup of coffee... Have her take a shower, give her some clean clothes... Than what? Say what? 'It was so good to see you. Drop by anytime...Now run along, back to your gutter...'
Five years ago it might have made a difference, now it was too late.
Next time I run into her, I'll look the other way.

(Weekend freewrite based on the prompts generously provided by the amazing @mariannewest. Check out her blog and join our community!)