Army of crones (Five minutes freewrite)

in #freewrite6 years ago (edited)

The windows were kept closed even on the hottest days, otherwise the creatures would be attracted by the smell of the women inside and start pounding on the fence to be let in. They were safe inside, Fernanda and her placid servant Maria. Years ago, when Fernanda first noticed the creatures she knew she had to protect herself. No one else would, as no one could see past the yellowing skin, the rotting teeth and the pointy noses. She alone would shudder if one of them happened to pass her by the street. Others saw no harm in the deformed crones, like her friend Rosa who knew most of them by name and would always stop to chat and kiss their clammy cheeks. Not Fernanda. She’d hurry as fast as her high heels would allow, never stopping until she found the relative safety of a well-lit place, somewhere nice, where silky fabrics and subtle perfumes would erase the revolting stench of decaying flesh she alone could detect.
Sometimes she wondered why she had not noticed them earlier, they must have been there all along, ever since she was a schoolgirl, but you know how kids are. What business do they have looking at the inform lumps of flesh swathed in moth-eaten coats to keep their weary bones warm?

The first time she realized something amiss was when she worked at the beauty shop - one minute she was fighting to straighten the unruly locks of one of her many friends and next thing she knew one of them creatures would plump her fat ass in a chair, demanding that she be made pretty. With a silly little laughter, as if it were the best joke ever. Fernanda would laugh with them, although she soon learned it was no joke wrestling to style their thin strands of gray hair into something remotely decent.
After dealing with one of them, she’d hide into the bathroom and scrape her hands raw to remove all memory of having touched the mottled skin and whatever germs they might be carrying.
As it was becoming harder and harder for her to treat the creatures nicely, they had to let her go - their sullen manner was bad for a small business like that. She tried to explain, but they wouldn’t see the whole thing was unnatural. Those disgusting creatures had no right to walk in there and demand that a young woman like her touches their creased skin. She left and from that day on she promised to limit all contact with the crones.

Fernanda took to working from home, for one of those companies that made paper-flowers and cardboard shiny crowns for carnival costumes. This new job suited her perfectly - she could hide indoors all day and she only left her house at dusk. For all their black garments, the creatures hated the dark and they’d retreat to whatever hellholes they came from. The city was safe once again and Fernanda dared to stop and have tea in one of those cute little places along the main street. She liked to sit by the window and she loved it when a passer-by would smile at her. Or even wink! Oh, that brought the blood to her cheeks, turning them bright red under the heavy layer of powder. She’d lower her eyes to hide her embarrassment and she’d wait for the impudent rascals to be gone. Finding a good man in that small town was not an easy thing, but then she was in no hurry.
Or so she thought, but truth is at some point she noticed all those who still stopped to smile at her where dirty-looking paunchy men, which reminded her of a toad in black suit, shiny from overuse.
She’d frown at them, making them leave in a hurry.
When she could take no more she cut down on her night walks, spending her evenings listening to old records while her maid dozed in a corner. Her greatest pleasure was smothering her skin in thick layers of moisturizing cream that smelled of jasmine.
In daytime, she’d spend hours peering from behind the heavy curtains and it was frightening how many of them creatures walked by her wooden gate. That’s when she decide to put up a strong iron fence and placed the rusty trashcan right behind the gate, to act as a roadblock, in case one of them crones would try to break her defenses.
She did have to go out some days and it was horrifying how impudent the creatures have become, smiling their toothless smiles at her and looking her straight in the eyes. When she’d duck into a store, as she used to, no one would take notice of her. The lazy girls working in the shops these days never bothered to offer their assistance, as if she was some penniless old hag. She’d make a point of sniffing and testing the most expensive perfumes they had on displays, although she knew she couldn’t afford them - not at the moment, but still she liked to dream of the day she’d buy herself something nice and wear it for a night out. Maybe she could look up some of her old friends after all.
One day she thought she saw her friend Rosa walking down the street that led to the flea-market, which seemed quite odd, but she followed her nonetheless. As she neared the stalls where needy people advertised their wares, she couldn’t help noticing the army of crones circling the place, fingering old shawls and cheap jewelry. She was desperately trying to find Rosa and she didn’t notice the creatures closing up on her. Toothless crones with thinning hair, all smiling at her, bony arms extended, welcoming her as one of their own.

Story written for @mariannewest's freewrite challenge, today's prompt was: 'roadblock'! Check out her blog and join our freewrite community.

Thanks for reading!

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I would run screaming and find a new world to live in LOL

This is a terrific freewrite @marie-jay.

If those crones are loving you that much, why spew hate on them? Let them be crones and let their faces be deformed, BUT their LOVE is very pure that you can't afford to lose!

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Fantastic. And reading this, I know I would not like the creatures too!!!


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It sounds like Fernanda is suffering from Gerontophobia. Poor thing! Fancy being so scared that you shut yourself in your home all day, even the hottest ones.

Really vivid portrayal.

we all hide from our worst fears!

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