RE: Yard Sale (5-Minute Freewrite - #1)
Editing is the life blood of poetry. It is what separates the end t from the chaff. What cleans the kitchen every night so your sink doesn't stink.
Free write is awesome to get your words out and let associations flush forward. I feel like it is the way images are best expresses.
For example I would say the first two stanzas are preamble where the speaker is warming up. Then we see the best image wit the sweaty guy with a soaked 20 dollar bill trying to buy a treasured childhood toy. This line is brilliance. I can tell the image showed up in the head and appeared. Whereas all the proceeding was abstract and obscure commentary.
I think free writting brings those images forth and editing parse down the obscure to let thoughts shine through the sweaty men and their butt wet bills from back pockets.
Well done! I enjoyed this.
That is definitely some stronger imagery! Yeah, in poetry, many times I think of the abstract and I have to pause to match that with a descriptive imagery. Maybe that's the natural process or simply that I am not as used to doing it. I like obscurity, yet a balance with descriptions is always nice so that the reader is not lost.
I see how poems can be developed from these freewrites. Sometimes, even just one line or one phrase can develop to be something much more meaningful. Thank you for the comment - I love how much effort you put into it :)