System -5minutefreewrite

For https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-553-5-minute-freewrite-friday-prompt-system

System! Systemic!

Thoughts running in a jumble through my head. Feelings. Worry and worry and worry. But none of it clear. No clear worry to hold onto. Just lots of little things. I dreamed last night of rattlesnake poison running through my veins. I didn't know if I was going to die. I remembered, in the dream, that rattlesnake bites aren't usually fatal if you get medical attention, and since we were at a big art gala and I had been bitten by a piece of art, I'd probably get medical attention, but it was also...

I woke up with my heart racing.

This morning, @stinawog let me sleep in and took care of our baby. I think I slept a little, but it was a fitful sleep. I don't know why. Just all this worry worry worry. Our system, we decided was going to be screens off at 9pm, lights off at 9:30, and we'll both get up when Lochlan gets up. But we can't seem to get ourselves to do it. Screens off at 9pm seems impossible. There are just no enough hours in the day, and so we steal the hours from sleep. We can't do that.

Tonight. Tonight we really will. Even if we haven't finished all the things, which we never do. And we'll live in the moment.