The Valley of Nothing (freewrite)

in #freewrite7 years ago

The ragged bone hands try to claw their way up at her.
Uppity up scratch tap tap. Or something. They make noises, that's the worst thing, she feels she can't be free and breathe because of the noises the claws make.
She is swift and pulls her legs up from over the edge and hugs them to her chest. For a few moments, she is afraid to glance down at the valley that is not really a valley, but a death pit. She looks around her and sees nobody on the cliff. Nobody's here and nobody can hear.
Only she.
No, her.
No...she sees a pair of fingers peek up over the edge and lets out a scream. As if surprised, the fingers retreat back into the pit. She stands up then sits back down, because she can see herself stand over the pit and one claw wrap around her ankle and pull her into the pit.
They're there, oh my god, they're there.
And they've been there a long time. When she was little, her grandmother never allowed her to come up here. To be honest, her grandmother didn't allow her outside at all, not without a chaperon. She hadn't understood at the time, but she did now. Her grandmother said there were people.
Bad people.
Who liked to snatch little girls, and sometimes even bigger girls, and feed them to the creatures. Just hold them up over the edge and drop them for the beasts to feast.
They're not beasts, she thinks. They're people.
mist-3095524_960_720.jpg
But they were very desperate people. People who, in their own turn, had been dropped over the edge and survived.
Do you know, little girl, how horrible it is to be abandoned? To be left, not to die, but to live. Alone, and knowing that they're not coming back for you. I was just a boy...

The voices, they're too much for her and she screams again and pushes back tears.
She stretches her back and peers down into the sea of living skeletons, trying to crawl up.

Freewrite off the word 'nothing', suggested by @mariannewest.

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Oh, how frightening! What possessed her to go? Why did she not listen to her grandmother? Will she escape those claws!? What a terrible place to be all alone. Please tell me she can return, alive! Nice tension and description.

Hmmm yes, I think she can escape, I think she'll leave that place alive.
What made her go? Curiosity, I guess.
And thank you :)

I really enjoyed your descriptions <3

Thank you so much <3

I love this one. The scene and its protagonists seem to be the embodiments of intense psychological states... I especially like the description of that kind of limbo between life and death: "To be left, not to die, but to live. Alone, and knowing that they're not coming back for you. " Beautifully written, I really enjoyed this :)

Thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot to me :) Yes, I think she's very torn, in her head at least, between choices and feelings.

Dark... and well written! I wanted to turn away from the feeling of dread yet I was compelled to keep reading. Now I have to find something less terrifying to read before I go to sleep...

Hah I'm sorry, didn't mean to frighten anyone. I just think there are a lot of dark tales out there and that they deserve to be told :) I'm glad you...liked it, in a weird, twisted sot of way...

I have a wild imagination at night. My teenage nieces try to convince me to watch scary movies to no avail...

This is like a wonderfully dark fairy tale. Even knowing the stories from her grandmother, she still couldn't shake her curiosity. She found some answers but what a price to pay! Your fantastic descriptions of the terrifying voices and the clawing hands of those poor souls left alone would make a few go to bed with the lights on!

Haa you're not the first to mention the nightmare fuel :P I suppose I should add a disclaimer at the beginning of some stories - do not read before bed :D
Thank you very much, @brisby, you're very kind :) I have a lot of fun with these freewrites.

I love how you say 'No' twice in a row too and I say 'No' zero times yet my photo is of art I did and along time ago called it 'No' the connections are all so interesting.

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