Lis (freewrite)

Knock twice, you told me. Knock twice on my door and I'll answer.
And now here I am, knocking, banging, ramming myself against your frail door that won't give way. There is no answer here, at least not one that I'd want. And I know that if I was to bang my fists against your door now, you would not answer. She probably would, the little old woman, even frailer than the door, the one who lives here now and she would shake her head and smile at me as she sent me away.
But I can't do that, I can't put anyone through another fake smile, least of all her. Not when I know how immeasurably painful it is to breathe, to open your eyes and notice, in the dull, cold room that you inhabit on the fifth floor that death has still not taken you.
I know, I open my eyes to that everyday, but don't worry, I'm not here to upset you. I'm just here to berate you, to beg you to come back, even though I know you will not. Or maybe I'm here to ask you to take me with. No, that can't be right either, can it? You're already gone and I suppose I missed the boat. Surely you're not coming back now.
Not after everything that's happened.

What do I do, Lisey? You told me we could be together anytime, that when I wanted to talk, you would be there. I know I was unfair to you, Lisey, but you were unfair back and honestly, I think yours hurt more than mine. I should've never left you, Lisey, I know that now, but what's the point? Why do you want me to know this? Do you smile in wherever you are if I learn my lesson?
Do I get to see you one last time, to maybe say goodbye?
No. No. No.
There's nothing here but dust, the door of a woman who might once have been, if I hadn't left, if you'd written me sooner. No, I guess we ain't coming together now.
So, I suppose we're coming apart.

Ding-dong, but the buzzer's broken, so I'll just knock. I wish I could leave, but you already did and you've left me no choice now. She's going to come to the door now, your mother, and I'm gonna have to tell her. Maybe that's what you meant, when you told me to come knocking, maybe you wanted to make sure I was the one who tell her.

Oh, why'd you do this, Lisey? You know I'm no good at goodbyes. Why didn't you call her when you had the chance, Lis?
She opens the door and I stare into her eyes. Your eyes, the eyes that would look up to me in the morning, each morning for the last few months, when I would make you pancakes and you'd laugh...

And she knows. From the moment she opens the door and meets my eye, she knows, like I suppose mothers do. And I sit here, Lisey, relieved.
Relieved I won't have to tell her our baby's dead.

Well, it's been a while since I've done one of this, what with the HF and all...Anyway, today's prompt was 'come together'. Check out @mariannewest and the freewriting community. You might find something you like.