Blind Mind (No Man's Land) - weekend freewrite

Gudrun, the Mistress of the Keepers Club, turned to him and pointer her finger.
'You, I see you've decided to join us,' her face was one big smile, except for her eyes. Those green, dark petals of doom and dust loomed at him, threatening to take away everything that he owned.
And Jack wasn't sure that was a good thing.
'I have,' he said and he looked down from her smiling face, to allow himself a moment to think. He wished she'd leave it at that, because he wasn't quite sure why he had joined the Keepers Club. Well, why he wanted to join, anyway, since he wasn't formally a member yet.

But Gudrun was never one to let things slide and she kept at it, questioning him, only to get vague answers out of him.

Jack looked around at the other people in the room, but found no mercy for him. He had rejected the Club's invitation once, and that was not seen with kind eyes. Still, he hoped he could convince Gudrun to allow him to stay with them.
'You laughed in my face, ten years ago, when I asked you to come. I begged you. This has not gone unnoticed, young Jack.'
She spoke his name as if it were a beetle, a disgusting bug that had dared to cross her path. One that she must crush immediately.
'And now, you have come to ask us. You want us to open our homes to you, to allow you into the deepest, most intimate corners of our minds and hearts and for what? Just so you can spurn us again?'
Jack tries to protest, to assure her it's not so, but his words have frozen in his throat. He has realized he will be rejected. And then, it will all be over.
For real.

I pedaled out of the driveway, knowing that my only way was forward.
I tired not to think too much about Gudrun's rejection. Well, officially, the Club's rejection, but everyone knew it had been her call. The splendid girl I once loved, and who was called Katie before all of this shit.
I biked as hard as I could, because I didn't have much time. Once you're down and out, it's only a matter of time and I knew I was treading on ice when I came to her, but I hoped she'd put old grudges aside.
Alas, Katie's not that sort of woman, she never was. Gudrun...what kind of a goofy name is that? And who the hell is she to decide who gets to live or die? What special quality sets her aside from the rest? She was never anything special.
Well, she was beautiful, and in a way, she still is, I suppose. But that's nothing. She's a stone-hearted bitch inside.

The front wheel skidded on the ground and I felt my calf go numb. This was it. I swerved to the side of the road, trying hard not to hit the trees. I let the bike fall, since that wouldn't help me none.
I looked around and observed the world I was in now. Was this No Man's Land?
I looked back the way I came and realized I could not see Katie's house. Hell, I couldn't even see the town I was coming from, although it had been all around me a moment ago.
Was that hers, too? Did she own the town? I suppose that would make sense, after all, it was her memory.
She moved from that house fifteen years ago, if I'm not mistaken. In the real world, that is. I don't even know if that house is still there. But in her mind, it is.
And in her mind, I'm not.

There was noise, yelling and shouting in the office and I couldn't understand how it had come to this. I had, after all, been a model employee for years. I looked at my boss, studied his ugly, punched-in face and realized I should not have shouted at him.
I should not have called him a bald headed mother...None of it, it was silly.

'Sir,' I began, but he put up a hand, to cut me off. It was in his sweaty, pink palm that I saw just how screwed I was.
'I'm afraid I'm going to have to forget all this, Jack.'
'No, Sir, please. It was...I was just angry. I didn't mean nothing.'
But it was no use. I looked in his eyes, as he began to fade from my view and saw that he was already deleting me from his memory.
'SIR!' I screamed and lunged at him.

No, I lunged at the thin, transparent air, because my boss – whom I had known for a decade of my life – was gone. He had deleted me from his memory. Funny how he could cut out so much and miss so little.
When I went home, Arlene was sympathetic. At first. That night, she cried and we made love and I remember she held me in the cold darkness and told me everything would be just fine.
She doesn't, but I remember.
I also remember the thin blue line. I don't really recall her face or her words that day, just that she was upset. All I could see was that little blue drawing that proved one plus one can sometimes be three.

Arlene didn't hang around long after that and the last few nights were...depressing, at best. She'd just sit on the couch, holding on to a big, red pillow and about a dozen napkins stifled in her hand. And she'd look at me with cold, accusing eyes.
How would she and the baby survive when I had no job and no boss to ask for future reference? Why didn't I hold my tongue?
What hurts me most is that she wasn't even going to say goodbye. She never really did, if I think about it. She just sat there and whispered something.
'I'm sorry.'
And then she too faded from my vision. But not from my head.
She chose to forget me, because robbing me of my baby – our baby – would've been too cruel a thought. So, she forgot me altogether and is probably happy now.

One by one, the people I asked for help turned a blind eye. And a blind mind to me, so that pretty soon, my only hope, the only person in the world who did remember me was Katie.
Or Gudrun, as she likes to think of herself. The snotty little bitch. Well, I could tell you about Katie, but you know how it is with first love, things rarely work out and someone always comes out hurt. I just hoped the hurt wasn't so bad that she'd choose to forget me. But I guess we all crave some sort of revenge and hers was to lock me out of her memory, her idiotically named Keepers Club.

I sit, on the side of the road, and wonder -

Who am I, now that nobody remembers me?

And if I once knew that answer, now I don't remember.

Weekend freewrite based on the prompts by @mariannewest. There's a new prompt out every day, and every weekend, a bigger challenge awaits. Do check her blog out!

Thank you for reading,

Images 1 2 3