The Weekend Freewrite | Sick Mission
Greetings, everyone
This is my first attempt at #WeekendFreewrite organized by @mariannewest. It was a hell of a challenge. For a long time I have been avoiding this challenge because I do not see myself as a writer in the Creative Writing sense of the word. I liked the challenge. It was fun and I can see the point of having three prompts testing the writer's creativity
This weekend's prompts are shown in bold in the text. I hope the story makes any sense to you.
Sick Mission
Salsbury and the many missionaries before him knew that all of this - the powerhouse, the gardens, the growing fields, the barn, the hospital - were all part of...a greater-than-life project. The first explorers had tamed the seas, lands, and natives. He was part of a missionary force in charge of settling the saving power of our god and exploring the possibilities of science and technology in places ruled by superstitions and the subordination of man to nature.
These people had resisted bravely, but in vain. They did not see they were being given tools to do god’s will (rule over everything created). They’ll see it one day. Even if by force, they’ll learn and appreciate the beauty of power.
"Dough Friday" I used to call him teasingly, since our "marital visits" began usually that day when... we were allowed to approach the rebels in the internment camp. That was our contribution to their conversion process. Dough Friday had almost killed Salsbury in one of their attacks. The military power of the guards protecting the missionaries made the difference, but none of our men had the fierce determination of any of these savages. I admire that in them.
We made them discover the transforming power of love and tenderness. We were professional tamers. Salsbury wanted this mission to be different to others. He insisted that the whole project gained very little by slaughtering the foreigners. He was convinced that if we could persuade them that a convivial existence was possible, then success was guaranteed. We needed their knowledge, their ancient wisdom; above all, we needed their secrets.
“How selfish you are!” I told Dough Friday when he refused to collaborate. He acted as if my nakedness disgusted him.
“You are going to get yourself killed and drag your people with you!”
“E’nepe inna man” he said.
Their language was very complex. We had been trained to understand and express only the core ideas that would allow us to build some kind of partnership. I understood his remark as meaning they were “tired” of people like us, invaders.
Even though Salsbury had been ordered to get rid of those who refused to comply, he kept his faith in the transformative power of love. His stubbornness would ruin the mission. When every woman started to fall ill of a strange malady and die a couple of days after, I understood what Dough Friday had been trying to say. The men also got sick and started to drop like flies. Our doctors could not do anything to stop the epidemic. The man looked at me in anguish, pointing at himself and around and repeating, “E’nepe inna man”. They were not tired, they were sick.
It's been a while since I attempted one of these. I've loved doing them in the past, I must get back to them. Amazing stuff comes out. Generally, my first section would be the longest, the second shorter and the last section only a sentence or two, but I see you gained momentum as you went along.
This is an excellent first weekend freewrite.
And what is this you don't consider yourself to be a creative writer?! I've read a few stories by you I believe, and you always excel. ## Header 2
:) Thanks, @owasco.
I guess I belong to a oral tradition culture that fosters retelling of stories; there may exagerations and other narrative devices, but the story pretty much remains the same. Creating stories out of the blue is a different skill that this kind of excercise demands. It is funny though how after I read the second prompt and decided that I'd quit, some idea for adjusting the first part of the story to something related to "marital visits" crept in and determined the outcome of the story, which would have been very different had I kept the initial direction.
I do like to tell stories; I am trying to learn some tools and skills to tell them better.
check out @kimberlylane's freewrite I just resteemed. She knows how to do this. It's about letting yourself go, writing without judgment or goal, just letting the story tell itself to YOU. Check her out. @improv does it too. Poetry is even better. Just do it everyday and I am pretty sure you will be hooked. And great at it.
I did. Her work is really amazing. That's the kind of "rambling" I envied from the creative writing guys I met in grad school. I had already read @improv's stuff. He is also great and funny. He reminds me of what some comp & rhet people suggested when one was hit by writer's block: "just keep writing, whatever comes to mind, even if it is..'I can't think of anything to write about so I'm writing about not knowing what to write about...' something eventually will come up."
try the most dangerous writing app to get the hang of it. When I'm stuck, I have a go with that app and it opens my mind up. I rarely end up with something I would publish, but the one time I did it was really good.
and if your country's oral tradition creeps into your freewrites, that would be an excellent thing. I would love them.
Very nicely written! ^_^ I enjoyed reading your post :)
Thank you very much. I am very pleased you enjoyed it.
You have an amazing gift. Keep writing 👌🙏
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Thank you. You have a great week
Hi @hlezama. This is a really good story written very well. You are a talented writer. Keep up the good work. Very organized in my opinion.
Thanks a lot. Writing, like drawing, which I do ocassionally, does not always come easy to me. Sometimes I give up and do not post.
The muses do not always find their way around so much trouble :)
I am very happy this one came out right and people have enjoyed it.