The Horse Race Twist —OR— Full Of Ideas, Bad Ones

For the last several weeks (or months, I'm not good with time), I've been taking six or seven unused prompts from the daily five minute freewrite and slapping them together in one post.

I don't normally do a preamble like this, but the six prompts this week challenged me more than any to date, and I decided I wanted to make note of it beforehand.

Typically, these prompts will not necessarily fall into place, so sometimes the post winds around a bit to get them all in. However, these six, at first, seemed to be so far afield from each other that I was thinking to myself, "What have I gotten myself into." What's funny is, my nose, as they used to say, got a little out of joint. "How dare you challenge me!" Funny because the only one making me do it this way, is me.

What am I supposed to do? Take a glove and whack my own face and scream, "Challenge accepted!"

I've decided that I shouldn't be harmed in the making of this post, but I still need to show myself I'm not going to be taken down by six freewrite prompts. Therefore, I've decided I'm going to do not one but two freewrites, just to prove I can, and hopefully show myself what's up. Nothing like fighting with yourself over freewrite prompts.

So, here we go.

And They're Off...

Welcome horse racing enthusiasts! It's a beautiful day at the Belmont, where it's anybody's race. Anybody's that is, but Beetle Bomb. Currently, Beetle Bomb is a 1000 to 1. How this horse is even in this race is a mystery to me.

Well, they've lined up at the starting gate now and the final countdown has begun. Four, three, two... and they're off.

With a fast start heading into the first turn it's Hot to Trot, followed closely by Rush to Judgment, then Better Yoga, 600 Bottles of Beer On The Wall, Tic Tax, and falling quickly behind the rest, Beetle Booooomb.

Now, coming out of the turn, Hot to Trot maintains a lead, but Rush to Judgment has yet to relent with Better Yoga, 600 Bottles of Beer On The Wall and Tic Tax all chasing each others' tails. A few lengths behind it's Beetle Booooomb.

Into the second turn now, Rush to Judgment takes the lead, followed by Hot to Trot, Better Yoga, 600 Bottles of Beer On The Wall, Tic Tax and barely coming into the second turn it's Beetle Booooomb.

It's the final straight away now with Better Yoga pushing up to take the lead, Rush to Judgment still charging, Hot to Trot not so much now but clinging to third, 600 Bottles of Beer On The Wall, Tic Tax and dragging up the rear, Beetle Booooomb.

We're in the homestretch with the frontrunners now bunching up and the back benchers losing more ground. It's going to be a photo finish for first folks. They've just crossed the line and the lane light is flashing—and the winner of this year's Belmont Stakes is: Beetle Booooomb!

_{A wink and a nod to the late great Spike Jones.}

A Dumb Business Brain

So, what do you think?

Do you really have to ask me that?

Yes of course. I want your honest opinion.

I can't believe you're making me do this.

Why? Do you think it's so surefire you shouldn't have to tell me it is?

No. The exact opposite.

What? Why?

Look. You bring me out here. You trot out the wine, women and song, you give me your pitch, and in the end, you've got nothing. I want no part of this harebrained scheme.

I can't believe this. You seemed to be soaking it all in.

I wanted to see where it was going. You never got here.

Oh, come on. That sounds like a rush to judgment to me. Like you had your mind made up before you even got there.

Well, it's not like you've got such a great track record when it comes to business ideas, do you?

Now wait just a minute. I think I've had some pretty good ones over the years.

Like your idea to bring about world peace by creating a better pizza?

Okay, okay. Not my finest idea, but it could have worked. And it's not pizza it's peace-ahhhhhh!

And then there was the time you wanted to put a yoga room right next door to a donut shop...

In my defense, it was a frozen yogurt place when I came up with the idea.

What about the pub you wanted to name 600 Bottles of Beer On The Wall?

Now, that was an awesome idea.

Except you weren't going to sell 600 different bottles of beer. You wanted to make it hip and sell hard lemonade instead.

Okay, I agree, that one needed some work.

Plus, in everyone of these schemes, you're main reason was some kind of loophole you thought you found in the tax code.

So, I'm a libertarian. Who wants to pay taxes?

No one.

I rest my case.

You rest alone. I'm out of here. Thanks for the waste of time. Again.

You know you like it. Why else do you keep coming back?

Bye, Lester.

_{Images source—Pixabay.}