Ninja Decorator

Hey, man! You must be psychic ! I was just about to call you.

You did call me.

Oh, yeah. Come on in.

Wow. This place is wild !

It's nice, but it could use a little TLC.

What? Look at all this. Tile floors. Columns. Murals. Granite countertops. Oak cupboards. Walnut banister. Wet bar. "I'll have a vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred."

Wet bars are out, dude.

Look at those curtains! I really like the burgundy color.

Drapes.

What?

They're drapes, not curtains.

Nobody calls curtains drapes, dude.

Well, that's what they are. Thicker ones that you can't see through are called drapes. Curtains are more flimsy, and let the light in.

Okay, okay. You're the expert.

Yes, I am. There's all kinds of things I would do if I lived here.

Wait. What? You don't live here?

No. Pssshhh. Do you think I can afford this kind of an apartment.

End Of Five Minutes

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Now that you mention it, I was wondering how...

No way. Maybe once I get my interior decorating business up and running.

Oh, so this is a client's house?

Nope.

So, we're trespassing.

Well, maybe.

Dude! What are we doing here?

I want to change things around, liven things up a bit. Show what I can do. This place was available.

You want to redecorate this place? But it's not yours, and the owner doesn't know you're here?

I wanted it to be a surprise.

Dude, I'm out.

Hold on. You can't leave. I've got pizza coming. Besides I need your help to move the heavy furniture around. Plus, I've got some things to pack up from the van.

You know what. You're crazy. This is the most stupid thing I've ever heard of.

Come on, man. I'm just trying to make a name for myself.

What are you going to do? Leave a business card? Basically, announce to everyone you broke in and rearranged their stuff without permission?

They're going to love it!

They're going to throw you in jail, that's what they're going to do. Now, come on. Let's get out of here.

BZZZZZZZT!

Oh, great. Someone's here!

Calm down. It's probably just the pizza guy.

Morning. Pizza for Biff?

That's me.

$17.99 plus tip.

Here's a twenty. Thanks, man.

Yeah, thanks.

Okay, now we're in trouble.

No, dude, it's all good. I got your favorite. Hawaiian.

No, I mean that pizza guy can identify us.

Look, we'll eat the pizza and clear out. Maybe I'll move a few small things, get it out of my system. They probably won't even notice.

Okay. But after this, I'm bouncing.

Fine. No problem. Here's a Coke.

Thanks. Wow. This pizza is really good.

I know, right? They're just around the corner, too.

So, just how did you get in? You jimmy the lock or something?

Nope. I'm not good at that. I climbed up the outside of the building.

You what? No way. We're up on the seventh floor. How did you...?

Suction cups. Like Tom Cruise in Ghost Protocol.

Okay. That's not just crazy. That's plain stupid.

No worries. The sliding glass door to the veranda was unlocked. And I wore a mask.

That's it. See ya!

What about the rest of the pizza?

You eat it. And if you have another harebrained idea like this, do me a favor.

What?

Don't call me. Later.

SLAM!

Great. Now how am I going to get the floor buffer up here?

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This post is part of the daily five minute freewrite. In this case, five prompts from Sunday to Thursday were used and then italicized. To learn more about the five minute free write, click here.

_{Image source—Pixabay}