When Your Heart Says No

Some of you know I'm learning drawing and maybe painting but the second one is just a dream, I'm never going to be good at it. Drawing on the other hand is a different matter. I believe it can be learned to some extent if you practice a lot. I'm not going to be famous but it's only for my entertainment and a form of relaxing, so I'm ok with every outcome. I'm always laughing at my drawings and have a lot of fun.

One of the things I always wanted to try out is working with layers. I thought for my "art" I would use some old, yellowish paper, a book of poetry will do. There's a good second-hand bookshop I know and today I went to look for a good old poetry book. When I opened the door what I saw was a shocking scene. Books were lying everywhere, Shelves were full, the floor was full, basically there was no room for people, buyers. This can be good as you have a great variety to choose from but the chaos that was ruling the place would not make that possible.

So I asked the shopkeeper where the poetry books were, he pointed me to the right direction and I started to look at the books on the shelves. I needed an old book with yellowish pages that looks old. I got one that looked perfect for me and when I wanted to pay the guy said the price is around $5. That was too much for what i wanted to do. Cutting in pieces a book that worth $5 is not fun, I needed a cheaper one. So I went back and found the book on the right side of the photo. It's a book of old ballads, the pages look old, perfect for my project. In the other shop I was lucky to bump into that watercolor paper which was at a very reasonable price so I got one and came home happy.

Once I got home the first thin I did was to check out the watercolor paper and the book. The watercolor paper is fine, I don't know how it's going to react to water and paint, I hope 230g/m2 is thick enough but we'll see. The book on the other hand is a different matter.

When I looked to at back of the book I saw it was released in 1955 and when I started to read it, knew right away that I won't be able to use it. I find it very valuable, too valuable to cut it into pieces.

It contains old ballads written in a language that is not used anymore. I thing those ballads date back to he 19th century or even older and I'm going to read it for sure.

You may be wondering why I had to go to the bookshop to buy a book as everyone has a book or two at home. I don't have one or two, I have hundreds, around 600 if I'm not mistaken. Las time after repainting the room it took me half a day to clear the room from books and two days to put them back on bookshelves. Each one is valuable and I don't think I'll be able to cut any book in pieces, so my project is stuck at this point.

At first I thought I would go back and buy another book that I'm not going to be attached to but will i be able to tear pages out of that? I know myself and the answer is no.

Call me oldschool but I still prefer printed books over electronic devises. It's a nice feeling to hold a paper book in your hand and enjoy scrolling through the pages. I was brought up to respect books, I love paper in general and hate it when people don't have any respect for books or newspaper.

However, while writing this post I just remembered that my grandmother had some book pieces, part of books, a few pages here and there in one of her drawers. Those are old books that went through a lot and who knows what's happened to them that we only have bits and pieces. Those I can use without any remorse as you can't read them anymore. The other option is to use magazines but I don't like glossy paper.

So many problems you would say :) Well, these are not real problems, my life does not depend on this, it's just something that happened today and I thought I'd put it on paper. Oh, wait, we don't use paper for blogging anymore, right? :D

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