Then, accidentally spill something on the floor; this inhibits the desire to walk barefoot. You see, a mobile spouse will follow you, filling your sacred head space with chatter.

LOL. This was hilarious, thank you for the tips that I can use on chatty folks. Although they do seem awfully spouse specific. I need one for chatty coworkers. Wait... Maybe I'm the chatty coworker... Goes and digs a hole