Sizzling

in #freewrite7 years ago (edited)

Susan sat in the sizzling sun thinking of her child who had died not long ago. He had walked down the street smoking a crack pipe and crossed the tracks on Mission Street. The train ran him down from behind. Who would have thought a 19 year old boy would die so tragically. Susan thought of him daily and thought his ghost visited her regularly.

Susan would play a game with balloons. She would blow up a balloon and she would call her son by name to come play with her. The balloon would move whenever she would tell him and in whatever direction she asked him to.

Her loneliness was felt by everyone in the family, and they would hear her cry herself to sleep, even after many years later. Susan tried to get on with her life, but her son consumed her thoughts both day and night.

Susan would call out to her son in the middle of the night and she could swear he would sit at her bedside and talk to her often. Those visits would not ease her soul, if anything it agitated her even more. She could not let him move on, and his soul begged her to just let him go.

One day, Susan came home from work and thought she saw her son sitting on the couch. She ran inside full of glee, only to find the indentation in the couch with no one sitting there. Her son left her once again.

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Awww ES I felt the pain of losing him twice :( why you do this!

Lmaoooooooooooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The story is, mind blowing and touching it took me off my feet. Nice one, keep up the good work

awww thank you so much RB!! really appreciate your kind words.

Awesome. I love how you paint the feelings. It feels like a great folklore story. Thanks
love Anj xx

thank you so much Anj!!
love
eagle

Such sad situation for Susan !! He might had obsessed his thoughts wishing that he couldn't have lost .. Ending was much more painful . Good freewrite @eaglespirit

it was very sad for susan, still is!
thank you for your support and kind words.

A very nice read, a bit sad, but still nice. Thank you for sharing, I love your little stories. 💚

thank you my lovely Petra!! i really appreciate your kind thoughtfulness.

Oh no not again! (Heart breaks) Like this story was so creative! Good luck on the contest!

thank you so much, no monies just a freewrite :)

I really got a good sense of how the mother would be feeling, its one thing losing someone but its another when that someone is a person you have created. Well written piece.

hey thanks a lot and yes can totally u'stand a mother's pain. :(

did you end up featuring my spiritual contest post?

Oh my, poor Susan. What a touching story Cas. ^^

yeah poor susan, right? she is an actual friend of mine. this was her story.

More tragic since this story is true. I hope she's feeling better now.

Based on true events. The son really did die like that but not smoking a pipe, they think he committed suicide but they were not sure and deemed it accidental. She is not well and is still crying for him and keeps him close. I feel she still has not let his soul move on. That is her though, selfish. I love her but just her personality. Hard to judge her though, I have not felt her pain.

Definitely, agree! It's so easy for us at times to say things when it did not happen to us.

I also agree that the son might be lost too since his mom can't let him go. I do hope she finds peace and piece of mind. ♥

I hope so too, and thank you for being so kind.

Wonderfully written story. You have done an amazing job of describing the dilemma of having to choose between holding on to the spirit of a loved one or letting that spirit go.

hello there my friend, thank you so much! yes such a heartbreaking dilemma at that.
so very hard.

This is a heartbreaking story! Poor Susan, it's not the train that took away her son, but the crack... I hope she can overcome her terrible loss.

I'm the Freewrite Prompt Deliverer for today:
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-151-5-minute-freewrite-monday-prompt-medium

yeah it was a sad state for sure, thank you for the delivery!

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