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RE: Finish my freewrite, earn steembasicincome shares and upvotes!

in #freewrite6 years ago

That was certainly the problem Oliver now faced as he tracked along the Damascus road. Despite the blazing heat he could feel the rasping hum beneath his feet and he realised his time here was almost done. No Vietnam onslaught could pay justice to what his last sight of life was to be nor the pain he was destined to endure. Like flying termites the wasps flew, a dark deadly murmuration that defied rational explanation. Flying high, the yellow zebra piranhas of the skies produced a sense of foreboding it was difficult to face. A life long atheist he dropped to his knees and prayed, Lord, if you exist save me this day.
Suddenly silence was all around, no droning, not a murmur, not a sound. A brilliant bright light and then a sense that everything would be all right. Oliver opened his eyes to realise that not one wasp was in the sky. On reaching Damascus his friends gathered round, as the news caster asked what miracle he had found. He shrugged, grabbed a beer, without a backward glance, wrote it off as merely chance.

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Welcome to steemit and thanks for your contribution, a finely written gem full of poetry. In your story a wasp becomes "a yellow zebra piranha of the skies", it's not common to find such creative descriptions. Just, I've to confess I didn't understand how Oliver has been suddenly spared :-) One last thing..why don't you join us and freewrite? It's fun and I think you would like it!

In the biblical account St Paul meets Jesus on the Damascus road - he leaves like a modern day Saddam Hussain to kill his enemies and on being blinded by a light from above then joins them.
That was the play on the use of Oliver being an Atheist and walking towards Damascus.
A miracle occurs but then when asked about it he writes it off as mere chance.

Thanks for the feedback - I am new to SteemIt so just finding my way around - how do I join you ;o)

Thanks for the "exegesis" my friend. I know about Paul, since I'm Christian and have a special connection with Malta, an island where he preached and of which he's the patron. Just follow me, if you like what I do (there's a button if you go on my account up there). I would be eager to read more of your works, hence I followed you already days ago. I also invite you to partecipate to @mariannewest freewrite project. I'm sure you may find it very much in your wheelhouse 😉

Thanks I’d already followed you, similar to Twitter I would always follow any one who followed me, seems like a basic courtesy. I love Malta, I was nearly born there and involved in the building of the new hospital circa 2000/2001 - great place

Next time you go there tell me, I'll offer you a pastizz and a glass of refreshing cisk! 😉

Ah that’s a great offer, Cisk and people who like Gozo, fond memories from diving with Louis - sadly my main reason for going became SCUBA and I lost my eyesight due to the bends ( DCI ) in 2010. Very lucky to be writing this but haven’t made it back since, but if I ever do i’ll Come knocking ;-)

Please do. My wife is Maltese hence I'm there as much as possible.. I'm sad to know about your dci .. we may dedicate ourselves to just eat which i don't mind 😉

one of those things - dived from 1986 through to 2010 - 3 accidents - 2 when I started and one when I ended - its not too bad given the amount of time I've spent under water ;o) Food it is ;o)

Thanks I’d already followed you, similar to Twitter I would always follow any one who followed me, seems like a basic courtesy. I love Malta, I was nearly born there and involved in the building of the new hospital circa 2000/2001 - great place

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