Freewrite: stranded on the sofa like whales

Detective Hardass McCormick walked into the apartment. There they were, stranded on the sofa like two beached whales suffering from plankton indigestion. You could see them gasping for air, and they were running out of time.

"Water! Somebody get some water for these things!"

The taps weren't working. They were out of water but there was some gin in the bathtub, so Hardass poured the gin over them.

"Thanks", said one of the whales. "Gosh, I really needed that."

"Snap out of it! Don't be hysterical!" Hardass quipped, though it wasn't really appropriate, he just liked slapping the victims as much as he liked slapping the perps.

"Well, you see, I need to know what happened here. Who did this to you?"

The whale shuddered.
"It was my old room mate, Oily Oligarchy. He stopped paying rent three weeks ago, and I was pretty kind at first, but then tonight I really needed the money."

"I see. It is always about money. No matter what anybody else tells you, there is always money involved. It is one of the facts of life, and you just must get used to it." Hardass McCormick knew a thing or two about the facts of life.

"Yes. It is always money. Anyway, I told him to pay up or get out of my apartment. So he strangled me on the sofa here."

"Golly. I thought I was a bit of a hardass, but this roommate of yours is a real hardass"

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This is a freewrite based on the prompt stranded on the sofa like whales with a plankton's indigestion.

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What is a whale's favourite drink? Gin plank-ton-ic.

Gin and tonic, by sgroene