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RE: Freedom, Janis Joplin, and Motherhood
I SO feel you. I love my kids to death and certainly don't regret having them, but I do greatly miss my personal space and my ability to focus on something at home for more than 5 minutes without feeling a tug on my arm, LOL!
This was really hard for me in the first three years of motherhood. At about that time, I went across country solo for 6 months for work and it was exactly the break I needed for myself - but it also made me realize that I really was ready to give up myself to being a momma. I wasn't supposed to be gone that long (it's a long story...), and it was tough on the whole family, but something about that trip clicked and my anxiety about not being "free" anymore went away. I don't really know how to explain it.
I totally get it. The first few years were really hard for me, not having much help with the twins, and I honestly did have some regret and resentment (mostly anger at myself) during that time. It has shifted now, and I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for them. I think it's important to recognize that those feelings are okay, and that they can change. Also, time away is such a good thing for perspective! :)