I feel truly fully free when I challenge myself to do something that terrifies me... The last time was when I was in Zion national park and I woke up alone at dawn and hiked up the spire at angels landing. I felt like I was clinging to the edge of the world the whole way up and I'm so glad I was alone because it felt like me and the universe playing a game of "how far can you go?"
The view was awesome but it was nothing compared to how expansive I felt standing there alone at the top of the world, both terrified and loving it.
As a side note... I have felt this feeling you describe, the matchbox feeling. And can't catch a breath. I feel it most often in the calm after a storm (life storm 😉). I find that in survival mode (which I'm going to blog about today, I found the topic somewhere so it's fitting 😂) in survival mode, I dive so far into self care so I have energy to make it through, and reprogramming, that after life calms down, it's like finally the processing starts, and it can actually be really stressful in a quiet subtle way. I think... It's like I'm holding my breath waiting to see whether it's really calm outside or whether more shit will hit the fan. Haha you just got some great news but think of all the times in the past year or so that you've been unknowingly holding your breath (every time you feel tension, whether you know it or not!) and now, that things are calming down in life, or now that once again liiiife is breathing around you, those patterns of holding breath do continue. You might just have a more open space to notice them. Just a thought.
Anyway, loved this post. I saw it on my way to the new interview sessions, and it really made me think of this stuff.
To freedom, eh?