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RE: What is holding you back from feeling more free?
It is difficult to change your thoughts, oh I know! It is soooo worth it though, and soon enough those nasty thoughts lose all their power over you. When I was depressed I forced myself to tell myself that it was going to be a good day and that I am loved, and eventually I started to believe it! Honestly, encounters with magic mushrooms also opened my mind and allowed me to re-wire a lot. There are studies that show they are effective for depression! Probably PTSD too!
I sure hope that you succeed in your goal to be free, I know you can do it!
They go hand in hand actually. I was originally diagnosed with Major Depression. Then the doctors kept throwing diagnoses on me and the most recent being PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and Bipolar 1. Which can for all intents and purpose be grouped under PTSD. I just have to take each day as it comes and not beat myself up over a bad day. Like with most issues, I have to accept it and move on. Change my thought pattern to keep the positive vibes going. As one doctor put it, it took me 40 yrs to get here, it isn't going to change overnight. The changes I have made in the past year alone I am extremely happy with. Last year there was no way I could be on a forum like this talking openly about this. It's nice to be able to and get support. Magic mushrooms huh? I can't do pot maybe that might work hehe.