Emotional Healing: Having Guilt Does NOT Mean You Have Done Something Wrong (Or Are Wrong) (Other than having listened to blame!)
There are many incorrect assumptions and perceptions in society regarding emotional states and they combine to create a huge amount of the dysfunction we see all around us. Guilt is one of the key ones to understand.
Many more mentally oriented people have assumed (illogically) that emotions are the cause of so many of our problems, but they have reached this conclusion without really understanding the topic. This kind of assumption is like assuming that fast food boxes are responsible for obesity because we see obese people eating fast food from fast food boxes. Yes, emotions are involved with dysfunctional behaviour, but no - that does not make them causal.
When it comes to guilt, some people have thought that guilt is an emotion - but is it really? The resources that I have found to be most helpful with emotions state that guilt is actually the opposite of an emotion. The idea is that guilt constricts emotional movement and is actually a lack of self love that denies self. For example, if you truly feel happy and someone says (or even if you yourself think) that you are 'bad for being happy' (for some reason) - then the logical state is created that says that you are not good enough just because you feel happy and also that your feelings of happiness are 'not good'. Guilt can then take over your inner voice and tell you all manner of things which are twisted and even cruel about yourself. If you think that guilt is an emotion, ask yourself "Does guilt move?" and "What is the actual feeling of guilt?". I do not feel that guilt can move at all and the feeling is more of a compression and freezing up than an actual feeling of something that is alive. Real emotions are 'energy motion'.
Guilt does not have any role in learning or an intention to teach/balance - it simply holds back, controls and limits. There are other, more useful and loving ways of learning and evolving than through the control of self and thus guilt is of no use.
So having addressed something of the nature of guilt and of its controlling and unloving nature, let's consider how many people continue to try to use guilt to 'teach' others or control others. This is typically done through judgements that proclaim to be 'authorised' and 'righteous', yet there is nothing that is unloving that is truly right. Only those who are partially unconscious and thus ignorant of key parts of reality and themselves will attempt to control the free will and emotions of others through guilt. This kind of control is like trying to control a dog that makes noises by beating it into submission. The compassionate and intelligent approach to peace is with understanding - finding out why the noises are being made and helping the dog get what it needs.
Along with these epic misunderstandings about guilt comes other assumptions, such as the thought that if you feel guilty you 'must' have done something wrong that deserves punishment. In reality, it is possible to feel guilty just by avoiding other feelings. If you don't like anger and try to avoid your real feelings of anger, you can create guilt in yourself. The avoidance is a lack of self acceptance that feels 'bad' and which can accumulate guilt in the emotional system of self . As this guilt builds up, perceptions can be warped and subconsciously then people can think they are 'bad' or 'wrong', when in truth they have just made a poor decision to not feel all of their real feelings.
A build up of guilt can unconsciously open us up to thinking that unexplained phenomena, such as dream content or thing said by others that we don't understand are evidence that we have done wrong or are not good enough - when they are not. Guilt has a kind of voice in us that alters our thinking process in the direction of reducing our own love for our own being (and for others).
When we truly do do something harmful, guilt can only be created in response to blame - yet we do not actually need to blame self or each other when mistakes are made. A far greater balance and beneficial result will be achieved when we do not blame and instead just accept ourselves and accept mistakes as part of life and part of our learning process.
Intention is key. If we have intent to heal, balance and evolve we will always find our way to less mistakes and harm in future.
To clear guilt from our emotional body is as simple as freely expressing emotions and giving them unconditional acceptance - however, this is exactly what guilt seeks to prevent in us. Other people will even be attracted to our emotional expressions - allowing their own guilt and lack of emotional acceptance to try to shut us down. So moving emotionally is best done in private to begin with. The results will typically involve an increased sense of peace, love and wellbeing.
Wishing you well,
Ura Soul
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I would say, guilt is primarily a state of consciousness. Did you come across the scale of consciousness? On the scale, it dwells on the low side and is the second worst state a person can be in. There is a numbness for emotions coming with it, a disconnection to the own emotions, which results in a strong sense of separation. It's hard to say, but I would name it an emotion, or at least a replacement for an emotion.
I have seen various forms of 'scales of consciousness', however, I don't usually agree with their definitions 100%.
Guilt is a form of unconsciousness, it is ultimately anti-consciousness and does not have an intention of releasing the pressure on our will and emotionality. Our conscious parts need to understand that guilt has us constricted and to make conscious changes in self such that guilt can be cleared from our emotional field.
Guilt is a kind of replacement for emotion, plus a limiter and even attacker of emotion - hence the numbness.
There are aspects to it that make it appear to be like an emotion, but one key understanding that makes the situation clearer is that guilt cannot move on its own - unlike real emotions.
Guilt is an emotion. Emotion stirs from our response to either internal or external stimuli. How we perceive a stimuli will influence our response to such stimuli. Guilt stirs up an emotion that hold us back and make us remorseful because of the perception we have concerning whatever is stirring such guilty feeling. Though not all guilty emotions are bad because guilty feeling is one of the ways life caution us concerning some of our actions.
Greetings. Have you tried to feel the specific emotion of guilt and not the other feelings that have become 'guilty'? How does the alleged pure emotion of guilt feel to you?
As far as I am aware, guilt is an effect on other emotions and not an emotion in and of itself.
Really! In order for us to know if guilt is an emotion or not, we need to understand what emotion is. So if I should ask you, how do you define or describe emotion?
Emotion is the expression of our own will. Our will has feelings which may be repulsions or attractions to things, people and events. These feelings can be expressed by the will as emotions when they move in the self/body and become vibrations. Therefore, when people scream or wail (for example) this is their will's felt response being converted into moving energy and sound (emotion).
The will is the feminine aspect of self which is both sentient and greatly misunderstood. The will needs to be felt to be understood.
We express our will based on our perception. An expression of our will on something we have a contrary perception on will create a feeling of guilt. So if emotion creates reactions and response, that also means guilt is an emotion because it arises as a result of a response to the action of our will. did what I just wrote make any sense? Lol
Our will may be affected by perceptions, but also has a much deeper connection to objective reality - this is the origin of accurate intuition, for example.
As I understand what you are saying here, you are pointing to the way that it is possible to hold mental definitions which define that the true response of the will is wrong/bad and yes, in that case, guilt can be created. That is part of the problem here. The solution is to accept that the will and the mind are not fully aligned and to accept unconditionally, the expression/desire/need of the will and to then go on to enquire into the will to learn why the will feels as it does. As long as the feelings are fully accepted and not denied, then guilt will not be created.
While guilt can be created as part of the process of the will trying to give it's response, that does not mean that guilt is an emotion. Guilt is not produced by the will, rather it is forced into the will by the lack of loving acceptance the will may experience due to our lack of respect for its process. Guilt is in some senses a form of fear that says that the will is not good enough due to feeling as it does, but it does not move and emotions, by definition, are movements of energy.
This is certainly not an easy topic to understand and I appreciate your willingness to explore here!
You said, Guilt doesn't create movement of energy that is why it's not an emotion. You also said that if the action of the will is accepted, guilt will be non existent. I understand but guilt most times arises when we engage in actions contrary to our belief and this feeling of guilt creates a response in us that could either be positive (correction of the action generating the guilt) or negative ( sadness, fear and remorse) and these occurs in our emotion because they are all emotional responses( movement of energy).
Thanks for responding thus far, it's really interesting sharing thoughts with you. Let me not go further so that you won't get angry. Would love to converse with you some other time. Thanks
I do not get angry due to conversation and in any case there is nothing wrong with anger - the problem is guilt and denial that warps the anger and turns it into something dangerous ;)
You are assuming that all beliefs about behaviour, which our emotions desire to go against, is correct - when in reality many of our beliefs are false and thus we feel blamed for our true emotional response. The belief that anger is wrong is one of the most destructive beliefs we can hold. Other destructive beliefs that are commonly held include 'I must have manners in order to be accepted', 'There is a certain order to life on earth and must not go against it', 'I cannot be both good and feel good'. Guilt does not create a response so much as simply is a twisting of our emotional response. The twisting could create a new emotional response, but is not so likely to because the overall quality of guilt is that it is entropic (leading to death and loss of vibration) - it does not feel good.
What a thoughtful post--that is, it really makes me think. Is consciousness of having done 'wrong' the same as guilt? Can one take responsibility for having done harm without feeling guilt? It's true that guilt is used as a control, by some cultures and belief systems. It is often cultivated by parents in their children, to elicit compliant behavior. And yet, the habit of guilt is a lifetime burden for many. It does stymie productivity.
On the whole I would say that guilt is an effective behavior control mechanism that carries with it a high cost--perhaps productive in the short term but counterproductive in the long term. This seems to be the rule for most negative behavior modification techniques.
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Dealing with our emotions in various ways is one of the best natural medicines around!! Guilt is a great teacher. We need all of our emotions in this human experience we're all in. Love your work. - K.