All energy that goes into criticising others and their ways, is missplaced energy. All energy that goes into questioning and bettering our own ways, is energy well used.

Agreed.

I just realized for myself that telling people the state apparatus needs to be dismantled is just feeding our collective fear issue...

It sounds too scary to most.

I will consider from now on shifting towards something more like this:

'The state apparatus needs to give up the initiation of violence.'

What will be left once the state does give up theft, extortion, torture, murder, war etc. ?

How should I know?
We will see.