I'm giving away 50 SBD.
Yes. You read that right.
I'm giving SBD away.
Because, I can.
Because, why not?
[Insert how happy I am about steemit and the community and how we are all here to help each other and how wonderful the world is and all.]
Let me tell you why and how you can get 50 SBD:
- I have it.
- I don't care.
- I can do it.
- Nobody does it, so it must be the right thing to do.
- Anything that attract upvotes and resteems is worth it on this platform, right?
- The goal is always more important than the means.
- It's my hard-earned SBD, so why shouldn't I do it?
- I just write weird short stories and dump them in the cesspool and expect people to read them.
- The joke is really all on me. Giving away money is more funny than all of that.
- When I put very high conditions on how to get this free SBD, it's not my responsibility if people want to follow them.
- It's not like I am giving a reward to unethical behaviour.
- It's just a give-away of free money. Free SBD, I believe it is money, but haven't a of yet seen proof.
- I'm not just doing this give-away because Steem is worth less and less. This has nothing to do with it. I promise.
- O no, I'm using difficult words in a post on steemit, now nobody will read it. Ontological frustrations abound!
- Oh, wait, nobody reads this anyway.
- But if I give people 50 SBD to read this crappy amount of words, it's kind of a job, so it's okay, right?
- But if it is a job, am I responsible for the things people do in order to get the money?
- What if I don't ask them to read this, but also, like, kill someone?
- They can decide who, so it has nothing really to do with me, right?
- Perhaps if I ask someone to do harm to someone specific, or some group of people, that would get me in trouble, right?
- Oh no, wait, this is what governments and certain people do that all the time, don't they?
- It is weird for an individual with no power to get in trouble for doing something which people with power do all the time.
- I don't really want to get in trouble. Except certain types of trouble.
- Okay, this is going in directions I hadn't expected. It's what happens with freewrites.
- It's also what I hate about freewrites. At least in its published form.
- Okay, to be honest, I edited this list to pieces, but I left in the freewrite bit as it is correct.
- And for those who are still here for the money: I'm really going to give away 50 SBD to someone.
- But I decided not to let you know what the conditions are.
- Beware. Because for SURE. There are lots of conditions.
- I won't be able to tell you the conditions because of legal reasons.
- The first person to fulfill all my conditions will be receiving 50 SBD.
- Please leave evidence in the comment section.
- I tried to obfuscate this give-away, to give people a better chance to win.
- Making it this far at least shows me you've really tried and at least I'll be giving this SBD to someone worthy.
- Or maybe not worthy, but at least dedicated.
- Or persistent. Pig-headed.
- Intentions are more important than actions, right?
- The road to heaven is paved with some mediocre intentions.
- Make sure you have the best intentions!
- There is a deadline. Telling you the deadline would be stupid.
- I am many things. Even stupid at times. But not right now.
- Anyone with some deductive skills will now know the deadline.
- I am looking forward to picking the winner.
- I will accept bribes.
- I don't think this is worse than those bizarre writing contests where people expect you to write advertisement for some kind of product with a slight possibility for you to 'win' some money for it.
- If you work for it, you shouldn't have to 'win' your wage.
- This is just my opinion of course. Obviously this is not true, otherwise nobody would write real things on steemit.
- Oh, wait.
- I cannot deny or admit whether bribes are or are not part of the conditions.
- Spam comments on this post will be nuked into oblivion.
- I will share one part of the conditions only: Other people have no say about the conditions.
- In case of many bribes, I might decide to throw in more SBD, divided over more than one person.
- It is better to make more people happy than just one person, some silly people say.
- Obviously that is all wrong.
- Especially in this case.
- Because the only way to earn this 50 SBD is to make me happy.
- Happiness in this case means to have someone fulfill the conditions as described above.
- I am only one person.
Good luck everyone!
ps. This is an entry for @comedyopenmic, but only because there is some sarcasm in between the lines, not because this give-away is a joke. Jokes and punchlines have very little to do with quality comedy. If only people would finally start to understand that! (There are exceptions, like @diebitch who cannot but write high quality comedy. Even when she writes memes.)
ps. I encourage some other people to join in the giving away of sarcasm for the @comedyopenmic which is a weekly contest now already on round 17, especially the following steemians: @carlgnash and @nonameslefttouse. They both inspired me for this amazing give-away initiative.
ps. Image used from Pixabay.