I'm giving away 50 SBD.

Yes. You read that right.
I'm giving SBD away.
Because, I can.
Because, why not?

[Insert how happy I am about steemit and the community and how we are all here to help each other and how wonderful the world is and all.]

Let me tell you why and how you can get 50 SBD:

• I have it.
• I don't care.
• I can do it.
• Nobody does it, so it must be the right thing to do.
• Anything that attract upvotes and resteems is worth it on this platform, right?
• The goal is always more important than the means.
• It's my hard-earned SBD, so why shouldn't I do it?
• I just write weird short stories and dump them in the cesspool and expect people to read them.
• The joke is really all on me. Giving away money is more funny than all of that.
• When I put very high conditions on how to get this free SBD, it's not my responsibility if people want to follow them.
• It's not like I am giving a reward to unethical behaviour.
• It's just a give-away of free money. Free SBD, I believe it is money, but haven't a of yet seen proof.
• I'm not just doing this give-away because Steem is worth less and less. This has nothing to do with it. I promise.
• O no, I'm using difficult words in a post on steemit, now nobody will read it. Ontological frustrations abound!
• Oh, wait, nobody reads this anyway.
• But if I give people 50 SBD to read this crappy amount of words, it's kind of a job, so it's okay, right?
• But if it is a job, am I responsible for the things people do in order to get the money?
• What if I don't ask them to read this, but also, like, kill someone?
• They can decide who, so it has nothing really to do with me, right?
• Perhaps if I ask someone to do harm to someone specific, or some group of people, that would get me in trouble, right?
• Oh no, wait, this is what governments and certain people do that all the time, don't they?
• It is weird for an individual with no power to get in trouble for doing something which people with power do all the time.
• I don't really want to get in trouble. Except certain types of trouble.
• Okay, this is going in directions I hadn't expected. It's what happens with freewrites.
• It's also what I hate about freewrites. At least in its published form.
• Okay, to be honest, I edited this list to pieces, but I left in the freewrite bit as it is correct.
• And for those who are still here for the money: I'm really going to give away 50 SBD to someone.
• But I decided not to let you know what the conditions are.
• Beware. Because for SURE. There are lots of conditions.
• I won't be able to tell you the conditions because of legal reasons.
• The first person to fulfill all my conditions will be receiving 50 SBD.
• Please leave evidence in the comment section.
• I tried to obfuscate this give-away, to give people a better chance to win.
• Making it this far at least shows me you've really tried and at least I'll be giving this SBD to someone worthy.
• Or maybe not worthy, but at least dedicated.
• Or persistent. Pig-headed.
• Intentions are more important than actions, right?
• The road to heaven is paved with some mediocre intentions.
• Make sure you have the best intentions!
• There is a deadline. Telling you the deadline would be stupid.
• I am many things. Even stupid at times. But not right now.
• Anyone with some deductive skills will now know the deadline.
• I am looking forward to picking the winner.
• I will accept bribes.
• I don't think this is worse than those bizarre writing contests where people expect you to write advertisement for some kind of product with a slight possibility for you to 'win' some money for it.
• If you work for it, you shouldn't have to 'win' your wage.
• This is just my opinion of course. Obviously this is not true, otherwise nobody would write real things on steemit.
• Oh, wait.
• I cannot deny or admit whether bribes are or are not part of the conditions.
• Spam comments on this post will be nuked into oblivion.
• I will share one part of the conditions only: Other people have no say about the conditions.
• In case of many bribes, I might decide to throw in more SBD, divided over more than one person.
• It is better to make more people happy than just one person, some silly people say.
• Obviously that is all wrong.
• Especially in this case.
• Because the only way to earn this 50 SBD is to make me happy.
• Happiness in this case means to have someone fulfill the conditions as described above.
• I am only one person.
• QED

Good luck everyone!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

_{ps. This is an entry for @comedyopenmic, but only because there is some sarcasm in between the lines, not because this give-away is a joke. Jokes and punchlines have very little to do with quality comedy. If only people would finally start to understand that! (There are exceptions, like @diebitch who cannot but write high quality comedy. Even when she writes memes.)
ps. I encourage some other people to join in the giving away of sarcasm for the @comedyopenmic which is a weekly contest now already on round 17, especially the following steemians: @carlgnash and @nonameslefttouse. They both inspired me for this amazing give-away initiative.
ps. Image used from Pixabay.}