There is life-changing advice:

Like, "Carbohydrates are actually bad for you," and, "Brush the teeth you want to keep," and "You should check out this web-site called Steemit."

And then there's the advice I'm giving you today.

Maybe not so life-changing. But I guarantee you will remember it forever.

And you will think of me every time you eat a banana.

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Are you ready for this?
Because there's no going back!
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You have been eating bananas upside-down!

And the consequences are ... ... AGGRAVATING!

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Now just tell me, dear reader: what side of that banana do you think of as the "top?" Go ahead and click on the picture to indicate your choice.

Nothing happened, right? That's because you're wrong! The top isn't the woody, sticky bit on the upper left. It's actually the soft, pliable nubbin on the right, next to the back-space key.

Bananas actually grow like this:

Pixabay.com photo

Mind blown yet? Read on!

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What are the consequences?

Because people think that the hard, woody stem is the top of the banana, they try to open the fruit from that end.

But that's not some kind of pull-tab that's going to unzip the damn thing. This never works. It just bruises the meat inside, squishing it into a runny mess.

NO!!!

I've even seen people use a knife to take the stem off a greener, firmer banana.

This is an outrage. The Bible clearly states that: One shall not procureth the cutlery to partaketh of the fruit; the banana not eaten fingers only is an abomination to the LORD.

(I think it's in Leviticus.)

Let's have a look at the other end, shall we?

Yesssss...

See all that soft, tender tissue? That little brown cap, so like a lid?

It's the weak point of the peel. It once held the flower of the fruit.

And now it is ready to open for you.

Go ahead, give it a little pinch and a twist. Use your thumb-nail if you have to. It takes almost no effort at all.

So then, what's the point of that woody stem?

It's a handle for you to hold on to as you finish your banana.

(This fact just blew every part of your mind that has not already blown today.)

Isn't it amazing how well designed these things are? How could you have been eating them wrong all these years?

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Monkeys?

The first time someone brought me to the light in this matter, they said, "See, it's the way monkeys eat bananas in the wild."

It turns out this is another lie. Monkeys do not eat bananas like this in the wild because bananas like this don't exist in the wild. As Princess Chelsea explains, if a monkey eats bananas, he probably stole them from your house.

And they're probably not even that good for the monkeys. And maybe not that good for you!

There's a lot of carbohydrate in a banana.

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If you learned something today, why not smash that

button like a monkey? I'll give you a banana!