The Chocolate Carb Coma Cake

Plus: My No Powdered Sugar Chocolate Frosting Recipe

I'm sure a lot of you have heard of the death by chocolate cake or a manifestation of some sort of chocolaty death moniker attached to a baked good or confection. As I am not one that wants to be the purveyor of comestible caused carnage or life expiration; I instead named my cake experiment after something slightly more positive. You can't escape death, but you can so come out of a coma, and boy will you ever descend into a carb coma if you eat a slice of this cake.

Our newest library co-worker has a birthday this week, and as I am the official birthday cake provider for our branch, I decided to go all creative for our newest recruit. My manager found out that she liked anything chocolate, so I started brainstorming.

First I decided a chocolate fudge cake with mini chocolate chips in the batter would be a good place to start. I baked up that beauty quick, fast, and in a hurry.

I then mixed up a batch of my Mom's chocolate fudge mousse filling. Mmm. Things were looking good.

After I made the filling I decided that my cake needed a special kind of frosting. Enter my silky, smooth chocolate frosting that is made without powdered sugar. One bite of this stuff is like sending your taste buds on a chocolate silk flying carpet ride tour through a cocoa magical mystery maze of euphoric baked good elation. Hello happiness.

After filling and frosting the cake I felt my Murican roots tug at my “Go big or Go Home” heartstrings. This co-worker cake, while amazing already, needed to be taken to the next level. Time to trot out the milk chocolate ganache was my first thought, so I did!

I bought some Ghiradelli milk chocolate chips earlier in the week. I liberated those ambrosia drops from my cupboard to a soundtrack of an alleluia cat chorus. As I heated up the heavy whipping cream to almost boiling I could have sworn that a beam of affirming sunlight lit my form. Once the cream was hot enough I poured it over the chocolate chips and stirred that drool inducing mixture until is was smooth as soon to be applied asphalt.

I had put the frosted cake into the freezer for a few minutes while I completed operation ganache, and as I waited for about fifteen minutes for the g-word to cool to the right temperature of appropriate application I passed the time singing Pink Floyd's Hey You to my son and a couple cats. I might have had a cup of coffee this morning. Coffee, Generikat, and chocolate is a dangerous and/or amusing combination. I used to be a lead singer in an Indie rock band, and the lyrics, they flowed.

Once the ganache cooled to the right temp, I started pouring. Now a classically trained pastry chef I am not. My goal is for things to taste good. I leave the food artistry awesomeness to others, and I am completely cool regarding their work with non-envious yet appreciative awe. My ganache didn't melt the giant chips all of the way, so there were little bits of milk chocolate bites floating throughout the ganache.

My co-workers ooohed and aaahed when I came in the door with the chocolate cake of pancreatic stress. We waited for the guest of honor to come in for her shift and devoured half the cake like a bunch of post hibernating black bears. We all stood in a circle and no one even said a word at first. That moment hit me right in the feelz. There is something so fulfilling about bringing food joy to others.

And on that cocoa-positive note I present you all with my extra special non-powdered sugar frosting:

Chocolate Frosting

3 TBSP Flour
½ Cup Milk
1/3-1/2 cup Baking Cocoa Powder (Depending on desired level of chocolate intensity)
½ cup Butter
½ cup Granulated Sugar
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract (I've also used mint and almond)

Whisk together the flour and the milk and heat over medium heat. Keep whisking the mixture constantly until it starts to thicken. At this point I usually abandon the whisk and switch over to a rubber spatula to stir the mixture, and you want to keep cooking and stirring until it reaches the consistency of a thick pudding.

Cool your paste completely, I usually put it in a bowl, cover it with plastic wrap, and place it in the fridge at this point. It needs to be completely cool before you attempt the next step. I usually make mine the night before I need it.

Next you want to put your butter and sugar in a bowl or stand mixer and beat it for at least a couple of minutes until you achieve maximum fluffiness. I use the whisk attachment on my Kitchenaid mixer for this step. One the butter and sugar are well combined I add the baking cocoa, flour/milk mixture, and the vanilla to the bowl and start mixing. You really want to combine things well here. Even if you think the frosting looks like something that would come out of the south end of a northbound bovine, just keep mixing. It take a minimum of 7-8 minutes of mixing to achieve the silky frosting heaven that will result if you just keep mixing. I also pause and scrape the sides of the bowl from time to time. You will know when the frosting is finished because you will want to eat the whole batch. The sugar crystals will have completely dissolved into smooth, chocolate cake adorning gorgeousness.

This recipe makes just enough frosting to frost two 9 inch round cake layers or a batch of 24 cupcakes. I tend to double the recipe.

It makes amazing graham cracker filled frosting sandwiches.

And as always, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's ganache and mousse covered iPhone.

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