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in finishthestory •  11 months ago 

This is my entry into Finish the Story Contest hosted by @bananafish and continued by those brave story tellers who come back week after week for a new, exciting challenge.

by @dirge

“I’m not going in there.” Imani took a drag from her cigarette and put her muddy boots up on the dashboard. “I’m going to sit here until the sun comes up. I don’t want to live anymore.”

Isaac groaned. He glanced at his watch. They had twenty minutes till sun up. “Hiraam and Kat are inside waiting on us.” He turned off the car.

“I hated Hiraam a hundred years ago and I hate him today. You know that.”

“I know, Imani. But it’s not like we have a whole lot of fucking options.”

She scoffed. “Here you go. Angry as always. You know, you’d think that someone could handle their fucking anger issues after a few hundred years but. Well. You’re kind of a living betrayal of that idea.”

“Eloquently spoken from a drama queen,” he murmured. Isaac rummaged through his coat pocket for a blunt. “What’s it this time? General depression? PTSD from the bloodshed? Bored with the general state of things? Let me guess. It’s just too hard now, right? Now that they’ve all gone and dropped the bioweapons on each other? Now that they’re too sick for us? Just too much work for little Miss coffeeshop revolutionary. Little Miss Make A Revolution For Fun.”

“Far more interesting to participate in their history then sit around painting all day.” Imani tossed her cigarette out of the window and lit another. Isaac lit his blunt and stared at her smoking. So beautiful in the moonlight, her black skin was smooth and supple after their recent kill. It was this time that they’d usually go back and enjoy themselves, let out whatever violent energy that had on each other before blacking out.

“You’re not serious,” he said. “This is just-“

“You’re right.” She turned to him and he saw between the growing high that she was serious. “You’re right. I don’t want to bother. There’s hardly any of them left anymore, and the ones that are still alive are all armed and fighting. It’s too much work, Isaac.”

Isaac hit his blunt and thought it over. She was right. It was different now. He glanced up at the sinking moon. The sky had shifted from the starry blackness to a deep bruised purple. Isaac was ready to speak again, to try and change her mind, when the door to the warehouse opened. Hiraam stepped out, his hands up in that universal sign of surrender. Behind him stepped three men in camo. One held a shotgun to Hiraam’s back.

“Shit!” Isaac ducked and pulled Imani down.

“How many?” she asked.



“Didn’t see.”

Isaac opened the car door. Imani hesitated. He pulled her out of the car. They ran behind trees.

Imani sat as he scouted. His eyesight shifted to inferred. The man with the gun and his buddy flared hot red. But the third one was ice blue. “Two humans,” he said, creeping back down. “The big one with a beard is vamp.”

“Smell pot?” the vamp asked

=== MY ENDING ===

The two humans sniffed the air, but all they smelled was the early morning forest air. The car was new to them though.

"Expecting company, Hiraam," the vamp said in a cold voice that matched his body temperature. Then he raised his voice so that those around could hear him. "Imani and Isaac."

"Fuck!" Imani and Isaac exclaimed in a hushed voice.

Vamp: "Nice of you two to show up. Saves me the trouble of coming to find you to rip your hearts out for releasing, what was it, doctor?"

Hiraam: "Botulinum Toxin."

Vamp: "Type H. That shit has killed off most of our food. All for your damn revolution, Imani!" the vamp's booming voice shook the trees. "Ten minutes until the sun rises. Doesn't give you much time. Tick-tock, tick-tock." He then instructs everyone back inside. The doors close.

"We should run," Imani said. "He's no good to us anyway."

"Our food's dying; we'll die. We could wait ten minutes and die that way."

Imani hadn't given real death much thought outside of being angry. Her game of drawing out the vamp worked. They didn't plan on the vamp being able to find the antidote to their mess. "Fuck you. Let's eat."

They sprinted the west side of the mile-long, two-story warehouse to where the Aluminum stairs were, entering the door at the top of the stairs. They entered into a garden with plant vines growing all over the place. Kat's experiments were successfull, thought Isaac.

Making their way to an adjacent door, the vines reached out for them. Isaac slashed each one with the machete he held in his hand.

Out the door, into the main area of the warehouse, they were shot at from across the way from an office. They scaled down cantilever racks and made a beeline down a long row. Isaac, out in front, got clothed-line by the vamp's arm when they reached the end. The vamp hissed as he ground pounded Isaac.

Imani broke off, heading to the humans who sprayed a hail of bullets at her. She grabbed an unopened bottle of milk lying out on a table, throwing it at one of the men firing from behind a forklift. Hitting him square in the face, the man stumbled back, blood pouring down his face. He stopped moving as paralyzes quickly immobilized his body. He stood, dying.

Breaking the emergency glass in a flash, Imani grabbed a fire extinguisher. She sprayed the area where the other human shot at her from, creating a wall of fog that only she could see through with her vision. The man felt the bite in his neck moments after his gun made a clicking sound, an indication of it being time to reload.

Imani dropped him, relieving him of his M16 and the extra clips.

She was fast but watching the liquid movements of the vamp was hypnotic. The vamp landed his fist square to her sternum, sending her ten feet up in the air. She landed in a dump hopper with metal spikes, which perforating her body. She screams.

The vamp seated himself on the edge of the container. "You wanted me. Here I am."


finish the story.jpg

Previous Finish the Story Contest Entries
The Town That ChangedEven the Clouds SmileThe BorderHorro Vacui
Black StarQuitting LifeLERIt Awakens
Apocalypse and PretzelsMetallic KissesCurie upvoted The Battle of Bloodneck ValleyAwakening

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Great ending of the story! I always find it difficult to even think about continuation of the story as I feel like it should fit whatever the author wanted to do. It is not the right approach but it's difficult for me to start from the scratch and make story mine. I like that you did it. And your finish is amazing.

Landing on metal spikes? Painful! You made me feel the pain of the character :) Now I'd love to know what would happen after this: I'm here :D

Have a lovely day!

Your comments are always lovely. What we like here is to twist the story in respect to the first part or have fun in creating bizzarre or unexpected endings.. it's all good since it's just a way to practice our creativity 😉

Thank you :) Oh yes, that is a great approach - 'to practice out creativity'! I'm seeing so many stories that I'm even thinking about writing one myself. I didn't write for such a long time. I know I won't be happy about my writing but other people might give me useful tips which is always good :)

..and this is exactly the mood of the Bananafish community, my friend! See it as a family of writers having fun in a weekly workshop. Developing a creative mind is a pro in every life aspect and we learn together. At this point we look forward to welcome you in our Banafish Realms!

Thank you for the invitation!! That's so nice of you! Now I really have to start writing :)

It's difficult for me, also. It seems I did well in this one, but there are a few that I've fallen flat on my face with. One story, I couldn't grasp at all, nor was the research I was doing producing anything for me. So, I said, "fuck it," and wrote a fiction story within a fiction story. It was fun!

Part of doing these works, or any writing, is to stop thinking about it and do it. Thinking about it is way harder than the actual doing.

Join in some time. Fall flat on your face. This community will help dust you off after you stand back up. 8-) At some point, it might happen that you write something amazing, even if by accident (which the piece was for me).

And this is what I'm great at - overthinking! :D It's so difficult to for me to 'stop' thinking and just do something. But I will have to try it. Creating a story sounds like so much fun :)

I'm sure that this community would support me with some tips and trick to write better. I really start considering joining this writing group :)

We share a simular struggle. 🤪🧐🤨

Hi tristancarax,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.

Wow. Very much unexpected on this one. Awesome!

Thanks for your support within the @bananafish community.

When you describe what the characters see, what they smell, and the rest of the things they perceive, you get the reader to get into the text. It's a good strategy, because I got caught. You have good writing skills, and it's good that you use tools to take care of your grammar. On the other hand, history is interesting, and you gave it a cold, elgant ending. Greetings, friend. I will follow the rest of your content.

Your so very kind. I'm working on becoming more consistent. Some story throw me for a loop.

You have great talent for writing, a lot of fluency in writing and the text does not become tedious, I love vampire stories and this was no exception. You gave a great end to the story.

Your very kind. Glad you liked it.

I do suggest you check this one out also. Fabulous. https://steempeak.com/contest/@gwilberiol/obstinacy

Hi @tristancarax thank you for another good story of yours after “The Battle of Bloodneck Valley”. You were such a good writer, your story getting better and better after the last one i read. I love how you continue the story and always end with suspension on what would happen to Imani. And you leave the ending to our own imagination how we want to end it. You are a good fiction writer @tristancarax. Maybe I have mentioned it before, it not easy to continue a story from another writer because each writer has own story present pattern. But your flow of the story continues it smoothly from another writer, without noticed I would think that the whole story was from the same writer.
Congratulation on your curie vote again after “The Battle of Bloodneck Valley”.

it not easy to continue a story from another writer because each writer has own story present pattern.

We're in complete agreement here. Many times, I see word usage that I would love to use but my lack of vocab and experience thus far hasn't allowed it.

I look at any story from the point of view that the end is another beginning that will lead to another end and ... a circle goes 'round and 'round. 8-)

curie took me by surprise on this.

Thanks for reading. I'm working on beginning more consistent with quality content and it's paying off.

I look at any story from the point of view that the end is another beginning that will lead to another end and ... a circle goes 'round and 'round. 8-)

This is a good one. You nailed it right, the end of one story actually would led to the beginning of another story.I would always imagine what would be the story if the story continues. And with that, I always hope the author continue the story :P

Your story getting better and better, hope I able to read your next one.

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nice ending line and fun action, especially with the fire extinguisher.

congrats on the @curie vote!

Found that as I was looking at what is in a warehouse. 😋


You're progressing Tristan. Congrats for your second curie within the Bananafish Realms! The story literally exploded after a beginning full of suspence. Well done!

Awe. I'm gushing with tears.

Thanks. curie took me completely by surprise. You know those works that you think aren't that great but others love them, and visa versa, I fell in the former this time. LOL Who am I to deny what others want to read. I'm super glad they enjoyed it. Maybe some time away, I'll see what they see.

Learning the difference between telling and showing has made a huge impact. I still get confused and not always sure exactly how to show.

Scary yeah...
You really a good fiction writer, I love the way you completed the story, it was like I was reading from the same writer I didn't know the difference, well they wanted the vamp and they got him.... Hahahahaah

Thanks you so much. 😌

You welcome

I like the fact that you say sometimes you don't understand the beginning but you plunge in anyway. This time, I think you did understand, but you certainly gave it your own spin. A few of the lines that stood out:

the vines reached out for them.
She grabbed an unopened bottle of milk lying out on a table

These are very specific and visual. They bring the scene to life. I don't know how you thought of such things, but it's impressive.

Good job. You deserve the recognition!

I was reading about the botulinum toxin because was going off the chemical warfare idea. One of the fears is that someone will poison milk and other things with various toxins that will then be deliver and consumed by the masses. botulinum H, at this time, doesn't have an antidote, but I gave that to Hiraam as someone who had the antidote.

The telling vs showing thing is tough!

But you met the challenge!!

I must congratulate you for taking the trouble to put the previous part. and then start with your participation. I think I had not seen that scheme in other types of sequences like this one.

That made it easy for me to understand what I was reading. very much in spite of the fact that the story is more extensive.

congratulations for your curie vote ....and good luck in the contest

Your welcome. I like giving people things, most of the time, the way I'd like to see them. If one has to leave my page and come back, that can get a little confusing. I know it does for me.

My 5-minute freewrites are examples of having to jump from one page to the other. That is confusing, even for me as the creator. lol