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RE: Finish the Fiction Story Contest - Spoon-fed Memories

Now note I did wrote my comment here since yesterday, I just hadn't actually clicked the "Post" button. Woops. And then I accidentally pressed the "cancel" button, but thankfully I ctrl+A and ctrl+C it before. A good habbit to do when in a rush to do something else, never know when yer fingers will slip up.

Ah, straight from the start of the ending, we get a nice role-swap in. So while we can see the general attitude, we can now shift towards the calm embers of the night sky. Or to say the obnoxious trope literally: the transition towards midnight or ending a story under a night-sky. Oh so delicate is Natalie to our previous aide, Susie, and how she listens carefully. Which breaks much of the breaking tempo that Susie was emitting from her character and let's free a smooth river flow of story-telling.

Instead of there being a forceful ram to remind the reader of the setting, we can immerse in the story within the story. To forget, temporally, the nursing home setting to immerse in the yesteryears of the patient's life. To be lost as her in a bunker filled with many passages and unoccupied spaces. To know not what could come next as all was hidden from her until she travelled a section of the bunker. And to finally feel deserved of seeing her husband/boyfriend as they finally met each other.

Though we have no clue of Natalie's life, she finally saw through the alienations that life was imposing on her and developed her consciousness more than Susie's. She realized the class interests of others and thought it wrong to take a compass, though she had been expressly told to take it. Natalie knew that, even if it was morally questionable, she would be questioned for taking something out of the room and that the patient may go in a disarray to see her compass taken away the day after. Not only that, 'twas the remaining objects the patient had to even connect to the memory of her long dead husband.

And while Susie could've taken the compass if she was in Natalie's place, the story reflects the fact that Natalie grew her consciousness more to see past individual survival and to help better society in a different way.

Now, I do wonder what'll happen in three years time in tangent to the story. The news would probably be raving right now about it and Natalie would be scratching her head and say: "huh, should've noted down the general direction the compass was pointing." But if she was curious to explore the area, she'd probably have a mental note of where the compass was pointing at. (Anyways, check my reply to yer reply on the disagreements. I realized that I misread thy reply, which was a misreading of my comment to an ending, and I decided to take the courage to make restate my position in another way. All really so it would fix the error in perception I should've fixed to begin with. I'll just let my re-re-reply just do the job and thou can reply there.)

Upvot'd and resteem'd.
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It's all good. Thank you for taking time to be precise.
You did a very thorough job in discussing the elements. I appreciate that a lot. This in particular tells the intention behind:

Natalie knew that, even if it was morally questionable, she would be questioned for taking something out of the room and that the patient may go in a disarray to see her compass taken away the day after. Not only that, 'twas the remaining objects the patient had to even connect to the memory of her long dead husband.

And while Susie could've taken the compass if she was in Natalie's place, the story reflects the fact that Natalie grew her consciousness more to see past individual survival and to help better society in a different way.

I maybe will come back to your other comment, not on my blog.
Meanwhile so many things happened during the day, that I have difficulties to find back into the mood.

Many greetings to you!

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