Skin Deep- My Entry to #finishthestory Week 61

in #finishthestory5 years ago

Skin Deep

by @Brisby

"Our company stands by our satisfaction guarantee!" beamed the processing clerk with her row of brilliant white teeth.

Arnav returned her smile with a tight one of his own. That hadn't answered his question. Before he could repeat it again, the woman raised a pale green arm and gestured to the hallway on her left.

"Please proceed to the end of the hall to begin your procedure. We thank you for choosing DermaTru." Shimmering, the glass partition darkened as she turned from the console. Punctuating a blunt end to the transaction.

Arnav blinked, debating if he should knock on the blackened separator to demand a better response. Anxiety from the thought of creating a scene thrummed a timpani beneath his ribs. Lara would never forgive him for an embarrassing display in public. Besides, the blatant avoidance of his concerns had told him what he needed to know. There wouldn't be any going back.

Flickering screens aligning the hall were alight with a dazzling rainbow of customers. Each one a testimonial touting appreciation and joy for their operations. Waiting beside the iridescent number four in line, Arnav focused on one he hadn't seen before. A teary-eyed blue woman, Bonnie, was thanking DermaTru for giving her back her life.

"After my accident, I hid away." Sympathetic music underscored the images of a crumpled car and her body mottled with burn scars. "People would stare at me in the stores. I couldn't stand the looks in their eyes." The music swelled into inspirational notes as she continued, "Then I found DermaTru." Azure hands clasped over her heart as she stared from the screen, "They gave me more than the skin of my dreams, they gave me my life back."

A pneumatic hiss drew his attention as the door next to the screen slid open. Arnav's stomach flipped, readying to paint the floor with its own colorful mix of pastrami and bile. Closing his eyes, he forced down the nausea with measured breaths. There wasn't a reason to get himself worked up over this. There hadn't been a single case reported of nanite rejection. It was a simple and safe procedure performed by professionals.

His tremoring hands and quaking knees refused to acknowledge his attempts to calm himself. How like his life, even his own body ignored him.

But, all that would change after today. One quick injection and Arnav would have his wife smiling at him again. His Lara would be happy again. His hands fisted. He could do anything so long as it was for her. His knees eased their quivering. Anything to have her look at him again with something other than disappointment. His eyes opened.

Rallied by the thought of seeing love in Lara's eyes, Arnav stepped forward into the implantation room.

BananaFishSeparator.gif

The room looked more like a first class waiting lounge, except for a machine the size of a writing desk standing in a corner. Next to it were two plush recliners, ivory leather with black highlights. Opposite the recliners was a study chair like they have in colleges with a table attached. This one held a slim computer .

"Mr. Arnav? Right this way please." The woman was gorgeous, not young but no man in his right mind would call her old. The voice had a timber, like smokers often do, but from her it sounded incredibly sexy. Her brown warm eyes matched her hair and the garnets shining on her ears.

"Mr. Arnav?"

He shook his head,cursing himself for behaving like a hormone flooded teenager. "Yes." He said and moved towards the recliner she gestured at. After he was seated she began applying gel to his neck for attaching electrodes, Arnav began to feel a hot hunger spreading through his body just by her nearness and the whiff of her perfume.

She stepped away and turned on the big machine and read the outputs the electrodes were generating.

"All seems in order." She then rose and brought him a pad with a form on it and handed it to him with a pen.

"Please sign here, so we can proceed." She then bent down to adjust his legs in the clamps, first the left leg and then the right.

"Arnav, the form please." She asked him with a dazzling smile. Arnav realizing that he had not even looked at the form, hurriedly signed it and handed it back.

"Thank You, put your hands inside the straps please."

Arnav did as he was told. A pair of mechanical arms emerged from the machine, each holding a syringe full of a neon red chemical. One pierced his neck the other his exposed shin. There was a sensation first of heat then of extreme cold and then Arnav did not know what happened. A little later- he guessed- he opened his eyes to see the woman wheeling a full length mirror to the center of the room.

"You check your new self, take your time. I will be back in a few minutes."

Arnav stood up slowly looking at his now pale green skin, his palms were lighter, almost yellow. He gazed in the mirror at his new avatar. He looked younger and exotic. There were no scars or lines anywhere on his face. He felt good. the woman came in and handed him his records along with a bottle of capsules to be used only in case of any allergic reaction. Before Arnav could ask or speak anymore she had quietly hustled him out and closed the door with another of her brilliant smiles. "See you in a month for your review and calibration."

dTr57eXT9.png

Brenda closed the door behind Arnav and locked it. She then carefully sealed the blood, bone marrow and tissue samples in the three different bags, taking her time to attach the labels properly and wrote on each of them - SUBJECT #13904. EXP.BATCH #70. Then she checked the computer, the chip inside Arnav's head was working OK and in the comments section typed- combat compatible; she closed the window and the screen blinked "active" and then blanked out. The Agency would be able to track and knock out Arnav whenever they wanted. She then brushed her hair and sprayed on the hormone concoction which would assault the next man to walk in.

The Contest: https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@bananafish/finish-the-story-contest-week-61

Picture Credit: Pixabay.com

Sort:  

This is so relevant. We don't trust anyone anymore, do we? Our phones are tracked. Our DNA stored--even if only one of our family members subscribes to a commercial DNA tracing sites. Echo, Suri--they are listening...to everything? We reach out to monitoring services to keep us safe, or make us better... and we lose our privacy, our autonomy.

This was a very clever take and well done. Creeped me out because it was so credible.

Happily, as I get ready to write, still not where I plan to take the story. I'd better hurry and write before my idea is snatched up. :))

Many thanks! Plausibility is the thing which hits us, wakes us up.

This is as captivating as Brenda, without the need for any additional concoctions!

You build it so well, the comment about that voice being sexy on her, the bit about her age (the way you blend observations into attraction is fantastic, even the description has the feeling of giving in to her) you drop hints but you equally approach it so that it doesn't seem out of place. I was far too willing to accept that although Arnav may be devoted enough to his wife to get this surgery, he still gets captivated by a sexy lady lol

I can just picture this so perfectly, she is a prime honey trap, bending down to do up straps so there is no way that form is getting read. I didn't see the ending coming at all, I was expecting this to have a surprisingly happy ending, but damn, that is just brilliant and so unexpected. And so relevant, all those user agreements that never get read...

This works so well as it is, but ohhhh! I want more! What does activation entail... what does combat compatible look like... what works so very well as a ending could equally be the paywall for the rest of the novel ;)

Terrific work, Sarez!

Your details flush out the scene, giving a reader a feeling of being there with Arnav while the devious Brenda carries out her duties. His distraction and attraction to her raises suspicion. Is she truly that appealing or is there something more at play here? (The room having the feeling of a lounge with the plush leather recliners has already primed his mind away from the clinical into a more relaxed feel - a very well done piece of subtlety.)

Arnav leaves, feeling most satisfied and you close with an great unnerving twist. It was all just a front for an intricate plot designed to gain control over the masses who would line up willingly for a cosmetic procedure. Dystopian to the max (and I love it) Sarez!

My Big Brother phobias at work.

Thanks @bananafish for the comment and the contest.

Novum kalium pirata.png

Congratulations, you've been selected to receive a 100% potassium enriched upvote from the @bananafish!

We are a safe harbor for every writer and poet. Freedom, solidarity, quality, inclusion: these are our values. Keep an eye on our weekly contests and grow with us in a friendly environment!

Join us! Here's your key to access the Bananafish Realms.

You had me wondering where this was going for a moment and then you flipped it completely, was not expecting that ending. At first I was confused why Arnav would look at any woman that way when he had just been thinking about Lara, and then his confusion, signing without reading. Really great entry. :)

Very smooth textural work and well blended with fascinating strokes on the background.

Great job.

Posted using Partiko Android

The woman was the perfect weapon for any man to sign without reading the documents, ha ha ha ha, as he forgot for a while about his Lara.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.29
TRX 0.26
JST 0.039
BTC 94848.07
ETH 3393.21
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.44