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RE: The Package (Finish The Story #49 Entry)
That time jump! You pulled it off so smoothly, maintaining the atmosphere of nervousness from Shannon’s perspective and introduced a consistency with Eric being a part it all. You really expanded on the late night creepy vibes but threw in such a twist...
He stared at the sculpture, the carved wood, the wrought iron; the classic huntress, her slain deer slung over her shoulder.
I’m in love, you really appealed to my inner artist. And the hardened criminal getting teary eyed over it, I’m sold.
Mystery and intrigue, was the sculpture a gift for someone, a special commission or was it a replica ready to replace the real one in a larger criminal act?
I am not sure how i settled on a time jump, but the implied long standing nature of the debt felt like it would allow for it and I was sat half talking to someone and found my fingers hitting keys like oh okay, here is an opening line lol. I was trying to amp up the creepy vibe ready to play off assumptions a little, not sure it hit in the end but it was a very fun opening to work with <3
I really wanted to name the baby, give it more and there was no shadow of doubt in the names for this one.
I didn't actually think of art for a heist, that's a very good idea, and of course would get her art displayed in a gallery! But I think the Shannon I have here doesn't know what Harry uses them for, just that he loves them, and wants more, and doesn't know what he will get until he gets it. A hardened criminal, the one person who believes in her and her creations.