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RE: Finish The Story Contest Week 27 Apocalypse and Pretzels My Entry

in #finishthestory6 years ago

It is an interesting epic take.. this is what I liked more:

These Demons where as old as him if not older and they where not suppose to be able to enter this plane.

(typo: "were", not "where")

I suggest that you choose a specific narration point of view and keep staying coherent and congruent with that. There are several perspectives you can take, basically: 1st person (you used it here: "That sword so he is of the archangel class no wonder he was able to see my attack coming. No worries though he clearly doesn't know who I am. Or he would not be coming closer."), the third omniscient and third limited person. I suggest you work on that to improve my friend.. ask @dirge who's an author for a confirmation on this :-P

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Ya next time I will try to stick to one perspective this time I skipped some stuff I would have done to better say who was talking cause I didn't want to have the extra words but your right. It makes it a little confusing.

Fixed a few typos.

I usually change it only once .. about verbs, I never change the time of narration from past to present.. it's always about the reader 😉 It's a good work, keep it up!

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