Looks like The Beast is upgrading with the times. 😱 Great work in building the suspense all the way to your payoff, Tristan!
Using the disheveled and dirty tunic of Thoram's to give the readers an understanding of the unsettling change to his personality was a nice touch. It both gave us more depth to the man along with moving the story to your unexpected ending.
led the way through the kitchen, through the monks' cloister where the flowers wilted as they passed, giving off a smell that was like sniffing of a bucket full of cum left out in a closed, heated sauna, and into the church.
This was our second clue that there's something rotten beneath the surface and it's a shining beacon to the readers. If your story was a horror movie, we'd be hollering , "Run you fool!" at the screen. 😁
The cum-flowers were definitely something.
There was this room I used to practice in. For like two week the trash had not been taken out. The room started to smell like cum. It was pretty nasty.
That was a good way to make your practice unattackable from outside interferences!
And you know the fool always does what the audience screams for him not do.