Taken By The Bank
This is an entry for this week's Fifty Word Story Challenge coordinated by @jayna. I haven't done many of these super short flashes, but this one is exactly fifty words, sans title.
This story is taken from early childhood memories. my brother and I would walk the near-mile to my grandmother's house every day. We'd make up stories along the way, stories we'd always call "Buddies" of some sort. Boat Buddies, Car Buddies, Fishing Buddies, Flying Buddies... this time we were Explorer Buddies.
Taken By The Bank
"It's like a tunnel!" Petey clawed his way into the underbrush overgrowing the bank. "Come on! It's a real tunnel under here!"
The viney things scratched at my face, bled my arms. “I can’t get through!”
I listened for Petey, but he was gone. Taken by the bank, forever lost.
Image Mine
The turn of tone from childhood adventure, to suspense, then ending with despair really drives hard. Lovely, Jon! Albeit a sad story.
Thanks Anike! I didn't realize I'd put that much into it! Still not exceptionally pleased with the ending...
Oh? I love it. It's a hard-hitting ending. Gives it a feel of childhood thinking which really sets the atmosphere for the whole story.
Oh I’m so glad you’ve joined the Fifty Word Clan, @jonknight! Great story. I love the sense of intrigue and mystery. Poor Petey!
Thanks Jayna! It's good to be among friends!