50 word Story Contest Week #14

in #fiftywords7 years ago

'Do you actually think you can't do anything wrong? We're done.' Laura said walking away from him, stepping behind the concrete barrier and clutching her remote detonator tightly.
One last grin and he disintegrated into a ball of light. It turns out the sun really shone out of Dan's arse.

2nd time lucky maybe, heh. Found out about this last week from @ogochukwu

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You really painted a vivid picture here. Way to say more with less! I'm being very objective in terms of grading, so expect a very fair fight. It doesn't affect anything, but a picture to complement the piece would be nice as well :D

Read and graded. Best of luck!

Thank you!
That's a good point about the picture, didn't even think about that. I'm not sure I want to trawl google for pictures that match the subject though, I might get unwanted attention :).

HAHA! Maybe even just a representative shot. In any case, it's a comment for the future,which doesn't effect how your entry was graded :D

I know, it would have been better and I will use your advice for next week's entry. Cheers

An explosive romantic thriller! ;)

It's got it all! Heh. Thanks

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