The Perfect Bait [50 Word Story]

in #fiftywords6 years ago

Rusty cast the fishing rod. A warm summer breeze gently ruffled his red hair.

A woman’s muffled scream came from the trunk of his car parked a few feet away.

The rod bent down and the reel spun wild.

Two catches in one day. He had used the perfect bait.


This is my entry for @jayna's weekly Fifty-word short story prompt with this weeks prompt being bait.

Pixabay Image Source edited by @cizzo.

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Whoa, creepy... Well done in exactly 50!

😄😇😄

@creatr

Thank you kindly @creatr :)

I second @creatr's comment, that was great.

It has been awhile since I have been around, I got busy on a lot of other things and my reading has slipped by the wayside, but glad to see you still out there with great stories.

Thank you @bashadow

There is a lot of content to keep up with, I know I've slipped on a bunch of posts/topics recently due to life stuff.
Glad to see you around again :)

Man that is so cold, going for a casual spot of fishing right after a kidnapping, haha. Brilliant way to tie the two together at the end - I feel the key to these is getting the ending nice and punchy and you certainly have a handle on that. Very nicely done!

Thanks @lazarus-wist!
I wanted to go for that contrast and I'm glad you mentioned the tie-in, was actually debating having one or not but it read better with one rather than something more jarring.
Yup, a punchy ending does seem to be the way to go with these very short stories :)

That is such a great play on words with bait @cizzo you had me laughing to be honest....

Thank you @joanstewart
To be honest that is a bit twisted to laugh at (well, the trunk part anyway) but I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Yoiks! Great use of the word "bait," @cizzo. The next prompt is "he doesn't know what he's got coming to him!" Kidding! This is really well done.

Thank you @jayna and hey, I'd take that prompt any day of the week (except Sundays - don't ask).
Would be the perfect bait, part 2 :)

Effective use of imagery in your story as it left a gruesome image in my head (even though the woman was still alive). I am just thinking the worst already. I'm not even sure if that was your intention. LOL!!! But you're good!!!

It was definitely the intention! The contrast of a relaxing thing like fishing and then, yeah, I'll leave it up to ones imagination.

Thank you for the kind words on it @evlachsblog :)

You're welcome. I am following you now and resteemed your post too. You are a good writer. I checked your posts.

Awesome! I very much appreciate the support and glad you enjoy the writing @evlachsblog :)

This is absolutely freaking bloody fantastic (and a little creepy, since I just wrote a story from the perspective of a woman that was kidnapped!!!)

Thank you @byn
I'll have to go check out your story :)

That was good... And creepy, brrrr....

Thank you @foxfiction :)
And yeah, the creep-o-meter is high in this one.

Man, you're ruining my imagination of peaceful fishing! :P
Lol. Your story is so effective, I love it!

I just couldn't help myself, and I love fishing (honestly) :)
Glad you enjoyed it! @gibic

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