Hasty Words

in #fiftywords3 years ago (edited)

Benji lay in a bloodied heap, one ear twitching.

Mara looked up into Braal’s glowing red eyes. “Please. Spare his soul.”

Braal raised an eyebrow.

“Asshole.” Rob kicked a rock across the floor.

“Insolent fool!” Braal’s nostrils flared.

He cast a flash of light. Benji’s ear stopped twitching.

This is my entry to the 50 Word Challenge, hosted by @jayna. The prompt this week was Soul.

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Wow. So much tension accumulated in so few words. Powerful.

Thank you!

This is really intense — and terribly sad as well. It sounds like a snippet in a much longer story. If so, maybe there’s time travel, and Mara and Rob can prevent the mauling and death of poor Benji.

I just wanted to add an additional note, @alheath. I should have been more effusive about the quality of the writing. It is very good, as always. I think you are a gifted writer, and I love your work in general. Unfortunately, I am very challenged by stories that involve harm to animals, and as Benji seems to have been brutally hurt prior to the story, and killed by Braal within the story, I do not have objectivity. Very sorry about that.

Thank you! However, I should make it very clear that I in no way condone violence to an animal in the real world. This is a fictional story, which tells of Benji’s incredible bravery and the sacrifice he is prepared to make for Mara. Unfortunately, a ‘happy ending’ is not always possible. To deny that evil exists in the world doesn’t make it go away.

I apologise for your feelings on the subject, but I cannot accept any personal responsibility for them. If you have any objections to the content of my stories in the future, I can easily be found on Discord. Feel free to discuss them with me there.

I respect you profoundly as a writer and a person, and I hope to look forward to submitting to more of your contests in the future.

Thank you for that thoughtful comment, @alheath. Yes, I will connect with you on Discord. Just back from 10 days of travel with limited time and internet access.

Just to clarify, I was merely meaning to say that I had no ability to be objective on the content and comment effectively on it. It would never cross my mind that you condone violence to animals. It’s ckear in those 50 words that evil is at work, and that is an essential aspect of your story. You did that very well, and perhaps the fact that it was a gut punch for me, as a reader, and I ended up in tears and kind of a wreck for a bit is testimonial to the quality of your writing.

Much love.

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