Fiftywords: Brain Damage (Micro Fiction)
"Everyone laughed it off and thought it was okay... Was it?" Another micro fiction piece.
Salam (peace) to you all~ Here's another short story by me. Entry to the weekly #fiftywords challenge, currently run by @jayna. The prompt this time is Danger.
It's the first one I write after my Fiftywords Collection and my Tutorial, though I consider both as #fiftywords posts.
Brain Damage
His smile after the fall told us "It's okay."
No injury was found.
Foolishly remarked on how forgetful he was since.
Unaware of the silently escalating danger.
A Man in his forties (I believe) hit his head on a wall, he brushed it off and everyone forgot about it. Until months later when his family noticed he started to gradually forget even the simplest things. When checked with the doctor, they found that the hit affected his brain.
I don't think I read what happened to him afterwards, but it seems he never recovered.
Moral of the story: Don't hit your head-- I mean, you never know when you're going to die or have terminal illness, so enjoy your moments to the fullest.
just in case.
What do you think?
I'm waiting patiently for your comments.
True stories make the best fiction!
You asked about typos, and this isn't a typo--if you needed exactly 50 words, that might explain the "a" you added in "Ignorance isn't always a bliss." A variation on "Ignorance is bliss" (we don't say "a" bliss.) But it matters not. :) Thanks for this!
Ah, thanks... I still haven't learned when it's okay/better/not to use 'a' in English... It doesn't help that we use this and 'the' differently in Arabic.
Well, I think I'll leave it like this, this time. But it might be okay to let the story be 49 words long and remove it.
You can safely leave "Ignorance is a bliss" here. Another time, if I see an errant "a" or "the," I'll let you know. :) English is a terrible language for all the inconsistencies and excess verbiage! I love the simplicity of Vietnamese: "We go now?"
Thanks, I'll be grateful~
I agree with @carolkean. Real life is such good fodder for stories. This is a good one. And I like your admonition to enjoy life. We never do know what the next day may bring.
Here is my editing suggestion for your story: I recommend that you take the "a" out of "Ignorance isn't always a bliss," and put it in the second sentence, like this:
English really is a messy language to learn. You're doing great!
I edited it in the post now. Thank you very much.
Yes! That’s better!
Don't hit your head is a nice moral to the story
Yup!