THE PAIN OF SEPERATING: EXPLORATIONS II

warpedpoetic (66)in #fiction • 6 years ago

_{Original photo by Dimitriwittmann on pixabay, Text and edit by me.}

I will not give him a name. I will not describe him or call him anything because that will give him an identity and a place among humanity. He deserves nothing of that sort. He will remain a shadow, a smudge in this story. He will remain an empty space on the wall where a picture used to be.

We were married for twenty years, he and me and those times, when I look back now, were the most trying periods of my life. I can remember nights when I jerked awake in the middle of sleep, thinking he had returned from wherever he had been, hoping and praying that he hadn't.

There were days when I closed from work and sat at my desk, gathering the courage to go back to the house I had ran away from that morning. It was a terrible time.

Why did I stay with him for so long? Well it was the same old story. My parents parted way when I was three and my mother who claimed me as her share of the properties didn't waste time before getting married to husband number 2, then 3 and then 4. Number 4 managed to rape me, steal all her money and kill her in one fell swoop. There was no way on earth I was going to let my babies go through that kind of horror.

Divorce was not an option, so I stayed through all the rubbish. I struggled every day, my heart in my mouth, my eyes wide with fright, to be the best that a woman can be, just so he would never need to leave or do harm. But evil needs no excuse, does it?

You hear women say I gave him everything right and sometimes you wonder what they mean by such words, right? Well let me tell you what I gave to him.

My father left me money when he passed on. I was his only daughter and his little princess. I spent it all on one stupid project after another, one scam after another until my inheritance was finished. Soon I was supporting his vices and his scams with my salary as a primary school teacher.

Do you know what he did? Ha... I will not tell you because if I do, he will have a semblance of a face in your mind's eye and I do not wish him to have that blessing. I want him wiped off the surface of the earth. Or should I tell you, so that you will understand?

I have removed all his things from the house and I have burnt them even the things that remind me of him, I have also burnt. I mean clothes, pictures, bed sheets. I have erased him from my home. I just need to say all of these things then I will also get him out of my head. Can I do that? Erase him so completely?

I could have borne it all to the end without any qualms but then the straw that broke this camel's back. I saw him with her. I will not give her a name either. I have erased her from my memory forever. Her face has become a blank slate to me. So I will not give her a name.

I caught them together, his head between her laps, slurping away like she had honey down there. Both of them grunting like pigs on the kitchen floor. No class, no class at all; the kitchen floor. But then again, it shows the level of their need doesn't it? Well there it is, I have told you.

What hurt me on seeing them was not the fact that he was cheating on me with a useless girl, no. It was the fact that he had never given me head in our twenty years of marriage. He told me he found it disgusting to put his lips and tongue on my vagina but there he was chewing, drinking, moaning over the inbred whore's STD saturated hole. I should have killed them right there and then.

Am I not beautiful? This is me, after forty-five years of hard living and three boys. My breast can still carry its weight, my stomach has just a little bulge, my skin is smooth and there just those sexy stretch marks on my hips to show my age. I have some tiny wrinkles around my eyes but most men say my eyes laughs when I laugh so it's a beauty to watch. My skin is dark as night and my lips full with a dimple on each side of my cheek. My buttocks is full, a little bit droopy, nothing a nice panty can't hold together and I have legs for days. What more can a man ask for?

I have never asked him of anything but love. Never, why did he have to do this to me. After all the beatings, the miscarriages, the broken promises, he cheats on me with that trash? The... No no names. Not even a curse to name him foul. I will wipe his memory from my life. He can have his whore. I am still beautiful, I have some money, I will get my second wind, he'll see.

THE END

©warpedpoetic, 2018.

#poetry #graphics #wafrica #steemjet