CAUTION: SARCASM AHEAD | @vinyprop Original

Yesterday was a damp, greasy and a shambolic day as a whole, with all that torrential downpour we had witnessed throughout the day. The drains were overflowing and the roads were giving rivers a run for their money. Seeing flying umbrellas, from the hands of people outdoors in strong winds, was the only sadistically satisfying & hilariously pleasing feature of the day. It seemed that the priest from the adjacent cathedral had pronounced the drain and the footpath, man & wife. And after their holy alliance they seemed inseparable, as an, two distinct bodies and yet one soul. In my opinion, anyone who still managed to make their way through this traitorous terrane, by placing their feet on the “footpath” with surgical precision, should have been awarded for their bravery and valour. Here I was, standing on the tenth floor, by the window at the breakout area of my office, engrossed in the visual treat on offer and impatiently waiting for the two hands of my wristwatch to get farthest to each other, with small hand kissing the numeric 6.

And finally the moment I was so desperately waiting for had arrived. As soon as the clock ticked pass 6 o’clock, I thanked my stars packed my bag. The sheer thought of the things that were about to transpire, enthralled me with ecstasy and anticipation. I considered myself so fortunate to have gotten a chance to get a feel of this magical experience first-hand. By that time, the threshold of my endurance had already given up and all that I wanted, in that moment, was to just jump out and submerge myself in the offerings of my city. And so I did! I quickly went to the parking lot and kick-start my two wheeler and flee. And in no time I was outside my office campus, into the beautiful real world, travelling towards my home.

The enchanting surroundings had captivated me into itself and in a jiffy I was teleported to a state of trance & euphoria. I am absolutely sure of the fact that if my bike could speak, it would have thanked me a million times, for the chocolate manicure, pedicure & facial I got it from the muddy roads. It was absolutely delightful and refreshingly rejuvenating to get splashes of the muddy water all over my body. I will go ahead and show the audacity to even say that if you haven’t had some filthy water on yourself, that too after a long hard day at work, then you are still deprived of one of the most enriching and earthy, quite literally, feelings that our city has to offer.

I still hadn’t stopped relishing all the happenings around me, in the meantime, my bike started throwing a tantrum or two and stopped in the middle of the road. Apparently some of the nectar from the road had made its way into the bike's silencer. Perhaps this was an indication from my bike that it hadn’t had enough of the experience, as yet, and didn’t want to leave the place. I was in total agreement with my bike, after all, who would want to leave this piece of heaven for a boring place like their home? I parked my bike on one side of the road and stood there for a few minutes, only staring at things around me. Am I not one of the luckiest people on the planet, as I get to live this life every single other day? I don’t have the competency to comprehend, but I am sure there would be millions of people who would even kill to get a feeler of this.

Suddenly a new thread of thoughts originated on my mind and I started asking myself.

This city has offered me the best of everything and yet I have never taken a moment to admire it and show my gratitude? Yes, this city was not always like it, but we the residents of this city, have put in our blood and sweat to transform it into this astounding place, that it is today. It used to be this boring place with these unnecessary semi-living things called trees. Sometimes I laugh to myself wondering that people in the past really thought that trees are useful in their living form as well. But now, whenever I get a chance to talk to people; living past their expiry date, I always tell them that the best form of a tree is in the form of timber. I tell them that you people had these unnecessary things all around you, pointlessly taking up spaces. But now we have brought each one of them down and have created extravagant malls and skyscrapers. Another inherent issues with trees was that they were housing these completely worthless beings called birds. I mean, who would like to have them around, especially when we know that they can contribute to noise pollution, with their chirping voice.

And yes lakes! Lakes and ponds were in plenty in this city. I only wonder, why someone would want to have so many water bodies in one single city, when we already have municipal water supply at home. All it takes is a small twisting action of the wrist, on the faucet, and water starts to flow. Kudos to the private developers and government officials who came together, as one, and tackled the issue by eradicating the root cause. With ever expanding urban population, we don’t need so many lakes and ponds, what we need is a place to live. And that’s exactly what was done to the lakes and ponds. Most have been converted into beautiful apartment complexes or office spaces. I don’t understand why people always keep cribbing about it. They say with less water bodies, we won’t have enough places to store rain water. To which I ably rebut with the reason that the, craters like holes, present on our city roads are good enough to contain all the water that we require and hence there is no need any lakes or ponds.

I have seen people flaunting that they went off roading over the weekend and it was so much fun. To them I respond with a smile on my face and a lot of pride in my voice that we get to off road every single day, on my city roads itself.
And suddenly, a big splash of water woke me up, where I found myself in my bed and my mother in front of me with a mug in her hand.

---

THIS IS A SATIRE..!!

---

If you liked this and would like to READ MANY MORE LIKE IT, please upvote this post and follow me @vinyprop.

Do drop in your comments to let me know if you liked it or not. Thanks. Peace