I can’t tell you these things enough

I come to you now, my sensitive heart has been bent on knees of it’s own, an apology in my wide and open palm for everything, for the man I have vouched to be just for you. For the days when I get so lost within myself that I barely know what is real anymore. I come to you with a melt heart that I’m sorry, and that I know how huge and grand my love is for you something I just never realized until this moment, until this day, until this minute when you were all over my memories. I have worked so hard so hard to give you the blood of my blood, all I am and all I have owned. I run away from you because it’s easy because grand love as we speak is my only dream, the thing I have craved for, the thing I have wanted when I was little, when I was a little boy I always wanted it chasing the magnetic daze of innocence in the summer sun, a noble grin on my face, I dreamt of love, of Romance. Of essence such as yours.
Sometimes we get scared of the greatest beauty because being in possession of it, there is the chance of losing it, the chance of losing a limb. An extension of ourselves, a beating and blood pumping heart that we have chosen to fall into now we are left to see what our fate has for us.
For the falling out of love, or disease, or time, or energy, it may be the death of our spirits. The death of the heart. I say all of these to you to say that I am fed up and tired of running, from myself and from others, and from this day forward I give you an oath made of a precious stone, a plea of whatever nobility that is still left in me, I will be that better man the world knows I am. I will be it for myself first, for that child I once knew that held his head high to the holiness of the open sky.

To exist, I miss innocence, tenderness and sacrificing my own needs and wants for others. I miss embodying my beautiful mother and not being romantic to the people I mean a lot to. I miss when I didn’t carry around an ego in the shape of the world on my strong shoulders, a heavy rock that started to weigh on me, my knees buckling, begging for life. I miss all the beauty because it is instilled in me, all the kindness I miss them, and I need you to believe in my hunger, my strive, my will to rise above these waters, because when I am this man, this better and great man, the way I love you is the way hands love song, the flower the rain, the pen the page, the lips the heart, the moon the tide. I will be a hero just for the sake of love, just to fight my way for love, a true hero that I must not give up on you no matter the how the odds is against my pure heartfelt love. Love must be fought for, I must forfeit every lust and desire, every longing and bitter words, every insecurity and infedilty.

I am in love with you, I miss you even when you are beside me. I find you in everything. The colors, the music, the wind hissing, the coffee brewing and the mind there nestled inside it all. I love you without rewards or convictions, or limitations, no restrictions can be implemented on the Love I carry. I love you because I don’t have a choice, the soul tells the body and the body has no choice but to accept the truth. I want to walk away from this world with you staring at me, your hand holding my hands, your heart forever enclosed within mine like a blanket.