Ultimate Online Wrestling CH-7: Friday Night Clash Episode 4

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The sun gleamed off of the giant golden Tom Tiny Lister Memorial statue in front of the Mt. Vernon stadium in the sleepy forested Washington State town. Mt. Vernon can be seen behind the arena in the distance of the peaceful and scenic countryside. Suddenly the silence is broken by the squealing of rubber against the pavement. A large black van pulls into the stadiums empty parking lot and comes to a halt in front of a very drunk looking man. This drunk individual is dressed in a suit and is standing by himself with a glass of champagne in his hand. The side door of the van slides open revealing the Cult of the Blob and the creepy Doctor Summeroff. The van is filled with strange-looking canisters and sophisticated metallic hoses. Brother Buzi and Brother Abandon help the old Doctor out of the van as Abishag steps outside of the driver seat of the vehicle and makes his way over to them.

Drunk in the suit: “hiccup”… Welcome! Welcome! You must be the ones who contacted me about purchasing this “hiccup” fantastic venue!

Dr. Summeroff: Of course we are you intoxicated boob! Who else would want to buy this decrepit structure?

Drunk in the suit: I’ll have you “hiccup” know that this establishment has “Hiccup” been in my family for years! My great uncle Marty “hiccup” built it in 1933 during “Hiccup” the great depression!

Dr. Summeroff: ENOUGH! Abishag! Pay the man the agreed price so we can be rid of his disgusting presence!

Abishag walks up and grabs the drunk owner by the scruff of his neck and shoves a big bag of cash into his gut. The impact is so great that it causes the man to vomit up the alcohol that he’d been consuming all morning. Abishag then rips the land deed out of the owner’s jacket pocket and then shoves him down onto the ground.

Dr. Summeroff: It’s been a pleasure doing business with you Mr. what was it now? DJ? RJ? Oh, who cares! Now get out of my sight before I have my friends here escort you off!

The owner gets to his feet gasping for air and drunkenly stumbles away from the cult. Abishag starts to move toward him which causes the drunk to sprint away from the arena with the bag of cash held tightly to his chest. Some laughter is heard from Buzi and Abandon as they watch him run onto the street to a parked car and then drive away like his life dependent on escaping from Abishag.

Dr. Summeroff: Alright enough shenanigans! it’s time to get to work everyone! We only have twenty-four hours before Mudcock and his Ultimate Wrestling crew get here! Get the canisters out of the van along with the spray nozzles! I want them attached to the rafters as we discussed at the compound immediately! The people of Mt. Vernon have been chosen! They will be saved! They will be baptized in the showers of the Blobs glory! This arena will become a holy place for our gelatinous master and his new worshipers!

Cult Members: Praise Blob!

The cult goes to work unloading the equipment from the Van as Dr. Summeroff survey’s his newly purchased asset.

Dr. Summeroff: Yes… this will do nicely…

The cameras go live to a sold-out crowd of ten thousand inside the Tom Tiny Lister Memorial arena as “Stranglehold” by Ted Nugent begins to play over the speaker system. It looks as if the fans are incredibly enthusiastic about the show as they do not get a lot of excitement in their small mountain town. The cameras focus then shifts from the pumped-up fans to the announcer team of the youthful move by move commentator Scott Slade, and the geriatric color commentator Chris Rodgers at their announcer table.

Chris Rodgers: Hello Ultimate Wrestling fans and welcome to the fourth airing of Friday Night CLASH! We are coming to you streaming live on Squawker, MeTube.com, and broadcasting from America’s number one watched cable entertainment and news television channel in America, M.O.X!

Scott Slade: Fans, we are here live from Mt. Vernon Washington one week before our second historic Pay Per View event Ultra Slam! Our biggest event of the year culminating in our first successful year of professional wrestling here at the M.O.X television network!

Chris Rodgers: I can’t wait, Scotty! We’re talking the biggest wrestling card of the year! Tickets go on sale tonight at midnight! This is going to be live from Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas Nevada in front of a crowd of thirty thousand crazed wrestling fans!

Scott Slade: You got that right Chris! People if you want to be at this thing, you need to get your credit cards ready and get online ASAP! However, more on point, tonight Ultimate Wrestling introduces its World Tag Team Championship title belts in a four-way tag team main event with all of our toughest Ultimate Wrestling competitors!

Chris Rodgers: No doubt about it Scott! It’s going to be a hell of a match and all of the contenders will be bringing their A-game tonight I can assure you! I’ve been guaranteed by the U.O.W physician that all of the fighters have passed their drug tests! We won’t have any of that funny business we got last week!

Scott Slade: Chris you were dead wrong last week and you know it! No one was using any sort of performance-enhancing drugs or recreational drugs. However and this is the scary part, Valora Salinas and Takuma Sato were both poisoned backstage last week. Takuma Sato is lucky to be alive after the whole ordeal.

Chris Rodgers: He had some sort of allergy to whatever he was drugged with. Rose Johnston reported it was a life-changing experience for him…whatever that means.

Scott Slade: I’m sure any near-death situation changes your perspective on life Chris. A lot of people though are pointing the finger at our boss Rupert Mudcock and his bodyguard Walter Reagan.

Chris Rodgers: Enough with the conspiracy theories! We’re here to watch some wrestling! We open tonight’s show with Andrew Storm taking on Ambrosia!

Rich Relando enters the ring to announce the first fighters of the evening for the fans in attendance and the millions watching at home across the country. He is dressed in his traditional old-fashioned white suit, red tie, and matching white fedora hat.

Rich Relando: Ladies and gentlemen, our following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first from Miami Florida! He is a former U.S Soldier and a veteran of the squared circle! Weighing in at two hundred and fifty-eight pounds and standing tall at six feet, eight inches! ANDREW STORM!

"Highway to the Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins starts to play as Storm walks out onto the stage to a poor reaction from the fans. The former soldier ignores them and makes his way down the aisle, up the steel steps, and into the ring. He then begins to stretch in anticipation for his adversary.

Rich Relando: His opponent! She is the self-proclaimed Harlequin of Hardcore! Weighing in at a hundred and thirty-five pounds and standing at a mere five feet, nine inches! Daddy’s little nightmare! AMBROSIA!

Ambrosia walks out from under the stage curtain and looks like absolute lunatic. Black mascara is streaked down her cheeks and she looks as if she been crying, but is currently smiling, and looks in good spirits. Her hair looks recently died, but uncombed or kept up. The fans give her a decent pop as she slaps a few high fives with them on her way to the ring.

Scott Slade: Well Ambrosia makes her debut tonight here in Mt. Vernon and of course the last time we saw Storm in action was a few weeks ago against Davey O’Brien where he took a severe beating at his hands. From what I heard he lost a few teeth from that massive torpedo head-butt he received from Davey.

Chris Rodgers: This is a military man Slade! He’ll bounce back tonight and squash this little prostitute turned wrestler!

Scott Slade: Woah! What kind of accusation is that! I’ll give you that Ambrosia is a little strange, but she’s no street hooker!

Chris Rodgers: Just look at her Slade! She’s a walking disaster! Where is the Vice President finding these people?

With Ambrosia finally in the ring, the head referee signals for the bell. Ambrosia is leaned up against the turnbuckle with her arms on the ropes supporting the majority of her weight. She looks unfazed by her much larger opponent as she chews bubble gum while staring him down sadistically. As soon as the bell rings she springs out of the corner and comes at Storm hell-bent on destruction. Storm attempts to clobber her with a clothesline but misses when Ambrosia ducks under his massive arm. Storm turns around just as Ambrosia bounces off of the ropes and dropkicks the big man onto his back. Storm lands on the canvas hard like a tree collapsing in the forest and the fans erupt in cheers.

Chris Rodgers: Come on Storm! What the hell are you doing? If you lose this match your butt will be fired just like Johnny Melange!

Scott Slade: It would seem that is the likely scenario…

Ambrosia goes to work immediately getting back to her feet and stomping on the right knee joint of her foe. Storm screams out loud as the fans start to get behind Ambrosia chanting “hardcore”. She continues to work Storms right leg, dropping a few elbow drops on it, before getting back to her feet, and grabbing his right foot. She then falls backward while holding onto it hyperextending the knee and his hamstring in the process.

Scott Slade: Fantastic strategy here from Ambrosia to work on the big man’s legs! Storm can’t even get up he’s in so much pain!

Chris Rodgers: Get up you bum! This is your last shot!

Storm struggles to get to his feet but is unable to put any weight on his right leg. Ambrosia stalks him like a predator stalking a wounded animal as he attempts to hobble toward the ropes. Ambrosia runs up and kicks him hard straight in the buttocks causing the fans to burst out laughing. Storm turns around furious and Ambrosia uses the opportunity to hit a codebreaker driving him face-first into her knee. Storm’s spine contorts painfully in the process and he collapses to the mat with his hands holding his face.

Scott Slade: Oh! Codebreaker! Storm is in severe pain!

Chris Rodgers: No!

Scott Slade: Ambrosia with a cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! It’s over! Ambrosia wins!

The referee raises Ambrosia’s hand in the air and declares her the winner of the match. The fans begin to chant “hardcore” as she makes her way out of the ring and back up the aisle. The Ultimate Wrestling medical staff rushes down to attend to Andrew Storm who has currently begun to bleed from his nose while lying on the ring mat.

Chris Rodgers: Fans I need a minute to gather myself after that sorry excuse of a match and we have to cut for a commercial break.

Scott Slade: Will be back in sixty seconds! Don’t move a muscle!

As the feed cuts for a commercial break we see Rupert Mudcock standing behind his desk. In front of him stands Jeremiah Vastrix handcuffed with Aktas Atalar standing behind him in his Bio-Armor exoskeleton suit. A blaster attached to Atalar’s arm is pointed directly to the back of Jeremiah’s head. Vastrix looks like he has been through hell and that his will has been completely broken. His hair is dirty and matted with dry blood from his injured scalp and his eye patch is gone revealing his gaping eye socket. His face is still not healed from the beating he took at the hands of Valora Salinas during the three-way cage match.

Rupert: So Jeremiah, Atlar tells me you’ve finally seen the light to our fantastic cause to make America great again!

Vastrix: It’s not like I have a whole lot of choice…

Rupert: Yes, I’m sure you’re aware that any further insubordination will not be tolerated by me, Atlar, your father.

Vastrix: What the hell is it that you all want from me?

Rupert: My boy, you should be thanking me! Your father wanted you dead! I’ve convinced him you’re a useful asset to me and my agenda! You should be kissing my ass!

Vastrix: Oh god I think I’m going to be sick…

Atlar smacks Jeremiah in the back of his head with his blaster.

Atlar: Watch your mouth son or I’ll force you on your knees and make you kiss his old ass!

Rupert: As much I’d enjoy that, we don’t have time for it. Consider yourself my slave and my permanent errand boy from now on. If ask you to jump, then you ask how high! Is that understood? Your job is not to understand why I want you alive. Your only goal in life from here on out is executing the things I wish for you to do to stay alive.

Atlar whacks Vastrix again in the back of the head with his blaster.

Atlar: We’d like to hear a “yes sir” from you boy!

Vastrix: Yes sir…

Rupert: Good…now listen carefully. I expect you and that lunatic Abishag to win the tag team titles tonight. Failure to do so will lead to permanent termination. The last thing I need is another diverse social justice warrior as a champion in my federation. Attendance may be good in the arenas, but our conservative viewership is shrinking!

Rupert reaches into his pocket and pulls out a new cybernetic eye and places it on his desk. The eye looks more advanced than the previous two iterations Jeremiah had used in the past.

Rupert: I’ve gone to the trouble of purchasing you another cybernetic eye from your father’s company. This supposedly is the latest design. Do not let me down Jeremiah…

Rupert walks up to Jeremiah and unlocks the handcuffs around his wrists. Vastrix takes the eye and insert’s it into his eye socket. The eye glows red instead of blue and a smile comes over the face of Mudcock.

Rupert: Oh and I forgot! The best feature of this new eye is that if you disobey if you even raise a hand against me! BOOM! Hahaha!

Jeremiah: You put a bomb in my skull?

Rupert: Think of it as an extra insurance plan on my part.

A look of dread comes over the face of Jeremiah as he realizes the deadly quandary he now finds himself in. Rupert pats him on the shoulder as Atlar laughs out loud sadistically.

The live feed returns to the viewers as Rich Relando stands in the ring ready to announce the main event of the evening. The fan's anticipation for the main event has only grown during the commercial break. A stomp and clap routine has taken hold of the crowd as they wait for the first team to make their entrance out onto the stage.

Scott Slade: We are back ladies and gentlemen and here we go!

Rich Relando: The following contest is a four-way tag team match and it is for the Ultimate Wrestling World Tag Team Championship! Making their way to the ring now from Detroit Michigan, at a combined weight of four hundred and seventy pounds! BARON VENDREDI AND TAKUMA SATO!

Something to believe in, by Offspring starts to play over the stadium's speaker system. Sato and Vendredi walk out onto the stage and begin to slap high five’s with the fans on their way to the ring. The fans seem behind the two fan favorites and give them a good reaction as they get into the ring and commence loosening up for the match.

Scott Slade: One has to wonder if Takuma Sato is a hundred percent right now after his near-death experience.

Chris Rodgers: I’ll give Sato this, the kid has a lot of heart…

Scott Slade: My word Chris! Was that compliment?

Chris Rodgers: Just stating the facts here Scott. I don’t preach fake news…

Rich Relando: The next team to contend for the championship gold! The feminist dynamo team of Abbigail Dresden and the Ultimate Wrestling Franchise Champion VALORA SALINAS!

Bring It by Trapt hits the sound system and Valora and Abbigail walk out onto the stage full of energy. The Mt. Vernon fans let out a roar as they reach out to slap high fives with the two women as they make their way down the aisle and slide into the ring. Valora unstraps the Franchise belt from around her toned waist and hands it to the referee while Abbigail goes up to the top of the turnbuckle and fires up the crowd.

Chris Rodgers: Feminist dynamo? What kind of idiotic social justice warrior bull crap is that?

Scott Slade: Now that’s the Chris I know and hate!

Chris Rodgers: These two broads are going to get destroyed in this match! They’re underpowered, outweighed, and in way over their heads! No way do they win this match!

Scott Slade: Tell us how you feel Chris!

Chris Rodgers: They shouldn’t even be allowed to wrestler men damn it!

Scott Slade: I see the hate Squaks on our Squaker feed are already pouring in after that comment! Way to go Chris!

Chris Rodgers: Oh no! Did I break your little social media box?

Scott Slade: Okay grandpa…

Rich Relando: The third team in this main event extravaganza! Two of the finest European wrestlers to ever grace the American squared circle! Weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and sixty-eight pounds! KRONIN REINHARDT AND DAVEY-BOY O’BRIEN!

Ich Will by Rammstein begins to play and Kronin and his partner O’Brien are next to walk out from behind the stage curtain. The fans give them a nice reaction as they make their way down the aisle and into the ring. Once in the ring the two begin talking strategy as they wait for the final team make their entrance.

Scott Slade: Well O’Brien is on a big winning streak and Kronin is a well-established fighter and I think they could be the dark horse for this match.

Chris Rodgers: Ha! Don’t get me started on these two! Taking good-paying wrestling jobs away from Americans! They don’t deserve to be on the Ultimate Wrestling roster!

Scott Slade: You can’t be serious?

Rich Relando: Our final contestants of the evening! An oddity pairing joining forces for a chance to be champions! Weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and twenty-five pounds! Brother Brock Abishag of the Cult of the Blob and Jeremiah Vastrix!

The fans boo heavily as Abishag and Vastrix make their way onto the stage and down the ramp. Abishag shouts at them calling them all infidels as Vastrix ignores them and begins taking diagnostics of his opponents in the ring with his cybernetic eye.

Chris Rodgers: Now this is the team to beat! Vastrix has defeated Sato before and Abshiag is truly undefeated with wins over Kronin, Vendredi, and Dwight Couch!

Scott Slade: I can’t argue with you Chris, Abishag has been an unstoppable phenom ever since he arrived in this sport!

Once in the ring referee Bob Sigro attempts to bring some order to the fighters as the teams begin to argue over which two wrestlers will start the match. A coin is flipped twice to decide which two teams will start first. Kronin’s and Valora’s team win the chance to fight first and the fans seem pretty enthused by it. Valora tells Abigail to start the match first and Kronin and O’Brien decide that Davey will start the match for their team. Sato and Vendredi take their corner as do Vastrix and Abishag much to Abishag aggravation. The bell keeper rings the bell and the main event officially starts for the evening.

Chris Rodgers: Finally! The match we’ve all been waiting for!

Dresden and O’Brien lock up in the center of the ring and O’Brien locks her quickly into a headlock. Dresden shoves him off of her and O’Brien goes into the ropes and bounces off of them with inordinate force. Dresden tries to wrap him up around his waist and quickly rolls him up, but O’Brien holds onto the ring ropes which causes the rookie to lose her grip on her opponent and fall flat on her back. Dresden kicks up back onto her feet and sees O’Brien as he is coming at her with a strong right hand and blocks it with her forearm. She then returns fire with a standing dropkick that knocks O’Brien onto his back igniting applause from the fans.

Scott Slade: Dresden looks nervous, but she is hanging in there with Scotsman!

Chris Rodgers: Beginner’s luck! Let me tell you something Slade! Valora Salinas is an anomaly! Most women can’t hang in this ring with real men! This Dresden girl isn’t a freak of nature like that brute of a she-man Valora!

Scott Slade: Chris we just watched Ambrosia crush Andrew Storm! How can you say that?

Chris Rodgers: Because it’s science!

O’Brien gets up and tries to kick the young competitor in the gut, but she catches the attack, and grabs hold of his foot in the process. The Scotsman thinks fast on his feet though and hits an enzuguri kick that strikes Dresden in the back of the head knocking her to the mat. He then gets to his feet and runs toward his team's turnbuckle and leaps up onto the middle buckle to springboard off of it. The maneuver sends the fans into a frenzy as he hit’s a strong ax handle smash dead center to Dresden’s forehead just as she was trying to get back to her feet.

Chris Rodgers: Oh! Dresden just got knocked stupid!

Scott Slade: What a move by O’Brien! Listen to these fans!

The blow sends her stumbling forward dazed and confused. Abbigail manages to move toward her corner and tags in Valora who comes in and immediately and tackles O’Brien onto his back. She mounts him and unleashes a series of powerful lefts and rights sending the fans into a mania. She then picks him up and tosses the Scot into the ropes, as he bounces back toward her, she follows it up with a kick to the gut, and massive DDT in the center of the ring. She quickly makes a cover on O’Brien and referee Bob Sigro drops down for the first count of the match.

Scott Slade: Salinas came into the ring like a bat out of hell!

Chris Rodgers: No not again!

Scott Slade: ONE! TWO! Oh! Abishag breaks up the pin!

Abishag grabs Salinas by her long black hair and pulls her up off of her feet. She struggles like a fish caught on a hook, but the giant monster of a man uses his free hand to grab her by the throat and then chokeslams her into the ring mat.

Scott Slade: Chokeslam! He’s not even the legal man in!

Chris Rodgers: You think that nut job cares! All he wants to do is to hurt people! I for one LOVE IT!

Referee Bob Sigro bravely stands up to Abishag and begins screaming at him that he will disqualify his team if he doesn’t get back in his corner. Abishag is infuriated and Vastrix has to pull him back into their corner. Both O’Brien and Valora lye on the mat flat on their backs breathing heavily. O’Brien is the first to get to his knees and he manages to crawl to his partner Kronin. The fans erupt as the big German wastes no time going to work on Valora’s legs while she is down.

Scott Slade: I don’t think O’Brien even realized what happened to Valora! He missed a huge chance there to make the pin!

Chris Rodgers: Kronin is the legal man in now and he’s taking advantage of the situation like an old pro! He wants to ground Salinas and is taking his time working those quick manly legs of hers!

Scott Slade: Will you stop!

Kronin quickly grabs her legs and locks her into a Texas Cloverleaf. Valora is now conscious and she is screaming in pain as Reinhardt applies the pressure intensely. Abishag attempts to get inside the ring, but Vastrix grabs him and stops him. This infuriates Abishag and he pushes his partner off of the ring mat and onto the floor much to Jeremiah’s displeasure. The fans boo Abishag and begin chanting “Psycho” in response to his actions.

Scott Slade: Valora looks like she might give up any second and Abishag and Vastrix don’t seem to be getting along at all!

Chris Rodgers: Give up damn it! Give up!

Valora is close enough to Sato’s and Vendrei’s corner where Takuma is able to reach out and grab hold of Valora’s hand. He uses all his strength to pull Valora out from under Reinhardt. Takuma enters the ring and nails Kronin straight in the chin with a standing side kick dropping him to the ring canvas shocking everyone in the building.

Scott Slade: Superkick from Sato! He’s pulled Valora out of the Cloverleaf and I think technically he’s the legal man in!

Chris Rodgers: Watch out! That kids like a shifty ninja!

Sato dances about in the ring never slowing down his rhythm waiting for Kronin to get back to his feet. Reinhardt gets up and shakes off the cobwebs and gives Sato a weird smirk. He then walks over to Abishag and tag’s him into the surprise of everyone in the arena.

Chris Rodgers: This man is a genius! I’ve always had great respect for the Germans!

Scott Slade: He can’t win the match when he isn’t the legal man in though Chris.

Chris Rodgers: He’s been beaten by Sato before though! With Abishag in the ring, it’s like throwing a wild card into the game! Anything could happen!

Abishag steps over the top ring rope and charges straight after the much smaller martial artist. He attempts to clobber Sato with a devastating haymaker, but Sato ducks underneath it and whirls around on a dime to hit the big man straight in the spine with a spinning back heel kick. The kick sends the big man into the corner where Vendredi takes the opportunity to sock him straight in the face. The punch sends the big man stumbling back towards Sato. Takuma takes Abishag’s big tree trunk legs out from under him and with a sweeping leg kick dropping the big man to the canvas. The fans let out a roar and then start a “Taku” chant.

Chris Rodgers: I guess there is something to all the karate stuff after all.

Scott Slade: Abishag is down!

Sato runs up and leaps into the air and attempts his iron-fisted heart punch, but Abishag grabs his wrist and stops the blow. With his brute strength and using both his hands he is able to halt the punch much to the horror of Takuma Sato and everyone in the arena including his fellow wrestlers.

Scott Slade: Incredible! No one has ever stopped that punch!

Chris Rodgers: Fantastic stuff!

Abishag torques Sato’s arm back squeezing it as hard as he can. Sato punches Abishag with his free left hand repeatedly, but the big man shakes off the blows and throws Sato back into his corner. The Cult member then gets to his feet and turns around to face his antagonist. Abishag once again goes on the attack and attempts to hit Sato with a big boot to the face. Sato catches the kick, however, the force backs him up against his turnbuckle. The big man uses his weight to force his big boot into Sato’s throat. Sato digs down deep though and uses his strength to force some separation from Brock's foot. He then unleashes a flurry of standing snap kicks to Abishag’s groin region.

Chris Rodgers: If I was Sato I would have tagged Vendredi in immediately right there!

Scott Slade: I bet you would be being the sniveling coward that you are old man.

Chris Rodgers: A coward! Son, I fought in Vietnam! You show me some respect damn it!

Sato sprints back towards Abishag again while he’s still recovering from the kicks he absorbed. The young Asian American attempts his heart punch again, but his time Abishag grabs hold of him by the throat in midair and then choke slam’s him hard into the mat. The fans erupt in a flurry of boo’s seeing one of their fan favorites devastated. Vendredi runs into the ring, but he also is caught by the throat, and choke slammed into the mat as well.

Chris Rodgers: Good Christ all mighty! Abishag has annihilated Sato and Vendredi!

Scott Slade: Abishag with a cover on Sato! ONE! TWO! TH…NO! Valora Salinas nearly took
Abishag’s head off with stiff Savat kick!

Chris Rodgers: That cheating ball buster can’t play by the rules if her life depended on it!

Referee Bob Sigro pushes Valora up against the ropes and warns her that the next time she breaks up a pin her team is gone. Sato digs down deep and crawl’s over to Kronin’s corner where he’s waiting happily and confidently with his hand extended for the tag.

Chris Rodgers: Sato’s crawling towards Kronin! The German suplex machine’s plan has all come together!

Scott Slade: Brilliant strategy by Reinhardt!

Chris Rodgers: I have to admit, I regret all those Reinfart jokes now! This man has shown me something tonight!

Kronin tags in and jumps into the ring and throws salt into the wound of Sato’s pride by tumbling a rolling knee drop over the spine of his back. Sato rolls out of the ring and collapses onto the floor as Kronin makes his way over to Abishag who is trying to shake off the cobwebs from Valora stiff kick to his cranium. Valora has been pushed back into her corner much to her displeasure as she watches Kronin take the fight to Abishag.

Scott Slade: Reinhardt is probably the only man in this match other than Vendredi that can match up size-wise with Abihsag.

Chris Rodgers: Oh! What a shot by Kronin! He just unleashing on the big man!

Kronin beats on the stunned Abishag for a good sixty seconds with lefts and rights, but Abishag snaps out of it and grabs Kronin by the throat. The fans who were getting behind the big German instantly turn sour as Abishag lifts him and chokeslams into the mat. The exertion of his time spent in the ring however has caught up to Brock. Abishag lye’s on the mat breathing heavily as does Kronin for what seems like an eternity.

Chris Rodgers: Both men are exhausted! I can’t believe Abishag was able to come back after a beating like that!

Scott Slade: The man is a beast!

Chris Rodgers: Abishag is moving! Abishag is moving!

Brock manages to crawl his way over to the German and put an arm over Kronin’s chest. Referee Bob Sigro dives to the mat for the count as the fans boo relentlessly.

Scott Slade: Abishag with a cover! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT REINHARDT!

Chris Rodgers: I can’t believe it!

Abishag flustered by the kick-out, struggles to one knee and then makes a diving tag to Jeremiah who seems shocked that his partner was willing to tag him into the match. Kronin also makes a tag barely in time to his Scottish partner O’Brien. Both men size each other up and circle around the ring a few times. O’Brien is unaware that every second that goes by Jeremiah gains the edge as his cybernetic eye reads and transfers data to his brain in five hundred mega bites per second. The two lock up in the center of the ring. Vastrix takes O’Brien down quickly with a drop toe hold and then pounces on the Scotsman and locks him into a half crab submission hold. O’Brien though sees the ring rope nearby and grabs for it and the referee forces Vastrix to break the hold.

Scott Slade: I got to say that these two Europeans have tremendous ring awareness and fantastic strategy.

Chris Rodgers: They're locking up again!

Obrien pushes Vastrix up against the ropes like an angry bull and then dives backward while pulling Vastrix with him. He flips Jeremiah up over himself and onto his back. The catapult causes Vastrix to land hard on the ring mat, however, he is quick to get back up. The two meet in the center of the ring again and this time Vastrix gets the advantage by locking O’Brien into a headlock. Out of nowhere, Abishag who has recovered, spots Kronin barely hanging onto the ropes to stay on the ring mat. Angry at him from their squabble early in the match, he sprints over to him, and clobbers the German with a clothesline from his blind side that drops him to the floor hard.

Chris Rodgers: Abishag taking matters into his own hands!

Scott Slade: O’Brien now has no partner to tag too!

Obrien impressively maneuvers out of the headlock and locks Vastrix up into a standing armbar. He then tries to pick Vastrix up for an atomic drop, but Vastrix uses the momentum to flip up over O’Brien. He then quickly sprints into the ropes and recoils off of them. O’Brien tries to come at him with a clothesline, but Vastrix slides through in between his legs. The two meet in the center of the ring again as Davey tries to tries to kick Vastrix in the gut. Vastrix catches O’Brien's kick and uses all of his strength to flip O’Brien over, but the little Scotsman lands on his feet much to the delight of the fans. Obrien comes at Jeremiah again, this time by leaping into the air. Vastrix cybernetic eye aids him to catch O’Brien and toss him up over his head. O’Brien though lands on his feet and then moves to the ropes where he jumps up and uses the top rope to springboard off of it and hits a wicked moonsault taking Vastrix down.

Scott Slade: What maneuver!

Chris Rodgers: Is this kid from Circus Olay!

Scott Slade: O’Brien with the cover! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT JEREMIAH!

Chris Rodgers: Get out of the ring Vastrix! Make the tag to the beast! Unleash the beast!

O’Brien gets up and stomps on Vastrix a few times before looking over to his corner and realizing Kronin is no longer there. His confusion gives Vastrix enough time to catch his wind. O’Brien tries to Irish Whip him, but Vastrix blocks the move and then clotheslines O’Brien so hard that he does a full 180 before falling flat on the mat. Vastrix then marches to his corner where Abishag is screaming at him at the top of his lungs to tag him into the match. The fans continue to boo as Vastrix makes the tag letting Abishag into the match. O’Brien sees him coming and sprints to Vendredi in the opposite corner and tags him in not wanting any of the big man and then rolls out of the ring to try and find Kronin.

Scott Slade: O’Brien running scared and tags Vendredi in!

Chris Rodgers: Do you blame the guy? Abishag is three times his size!

Vendredi gets in the ring very quickly and sprints at Abishag nailing him with his patented football spear tackle. The fans erupt as he gets up and lets out a barbaric roar and pounds his chest. He then tries to pick up Abishag for a Suplex but is unable to get the big man up. Instead, Abishag is the one that lifts the Baron and Jack Hammer slams him into the ring canvas. Once again Abishag covers the opponent he is fighting for a pin, but the count is interrupted. This time it’s Sato who makes the save.

Scott Slade: Once again Abishag has this match in the bag and another opponent breaks up the pin!

Chris Rodgers: That’s it! Every team has been warned! If any of them try that again there disqualified from the match!

Abishag tries to get to his feet, but Sato chops him down with a jumping ax kick that strikes the back of Brock’s neck. Referee Bob Sigro grabs Sato and pulls him back into his corner screaming at him. Vendredi manages to get to his feet and then drops a massive leg drop on the back of Abishags head for good measure. Vendredi then tries to pick up Abishag for a follow-up move, but with the Referee’s back turned due to his entanglement with Sato, Abishag is able to hit Vendredi with a low blow.

Chris Rodgers: Right in Vendredi’s family jewels!

Scott Slade: The Baron Vendredi is struggling and to tag out and Sato is still getting an earful from the Referee!

Chris Rodgers: No! Stay away from the women! Don’t tag them in!

Vendredi barely manages to dive into Valora’s corner in time but is able to tag in the Hispanic franchise champion. She gets into the ring just as Abishag has managed to get to one knee. Valora darts in and takes Abishag back down to the mat with a head scissors takedown. She then locks in the hold and start’s to strangle the big man cutting off his air to his brain.

Scott Slade: What a move by our Ultimate Wrestling Champion!

Chris Rodgers: Damn that woman with her man legs!

Abishag struggles for what seems like an eternity but eventually pulls Valora legs off of his neck forcing her to release the hold. The two get back to their feet and Abishag uses his power and size to hip check Valora off of her feet onto the mat. Valora struggles to pull herself up by the ring ropes, the impact having caught her off guard. Abishag grabs her once she is back on her feet and tosses her into the ropes. Valora’s counters the move by flipping backside into the ropes and landing with her feet on the ring apron outside. She then turns around jumps up onto the top rope and springboards off of it.

Scott Slade: Salinas flying through the air!

She tries to body slam into Abishag, but he ducks underneath her. Valora expertly lands on her feet and quickly turns around to face Abishag. She then runs at him and dropkicks Brock straight in his right knee cap. The move impedes the giant Blob worshiper's movement allowing for her to strike his injured knee with some forceful repeated kicks to the back of it. The fifth kick brings Abishag down and Valora uses the opportunity to go back outside of the ring and once again springboards off the top rope. This time she catches Abishag as he’s getting up and face plants him with a massive facebuster causing the fans to go crazy.

Chris Rodgers: No! How the hell is this happening!

Scott Slade: Wait what she is doing now!

Valora quickly gets to her feet and tags in Abbigail in who hops up onto the top turnbuckle and attempts a high-risk frog splash. The maneuver sadly fails, as Abisahg blocks the splash, and the young star lands directly on his knees injuring her ribs badly. She rolls onto her side clutching her rib-cage crying in pain.

Scott Slade: Oh! That was awful!

Chris Rodgers: Abishag is getting back up!

Once on his feet, a sadistic smile takes over Abishag as Valora looks on helpless unable to do anything to help her protégé without automatically losing the match to disqualification. Abishag knows he has the advantage and picks up Abigail and nearly breaks her in half with a horrific backbreaker. The young girl falls helplessly to the canvas and Abishag mercifully covers her for the pin.

Scott Slade: Abishag with the cover! ONE! TWO! THREE! We have our first Ultimate Wrestling Tag Team Champions!

Chris Rodgers: I told you those ladies had no business in this match! Finally some worthy champions!

The fans boos are deafening as Valora rushes over to Abbigail to try to console her as she rolls around in agony. Referee Bob Sigro presents Abishag and Jeremiah with their new belts when suddenly the booing stops and panic takes hold of the crowd inside the Tiny Lister Memorial Arena.

The canisters filled with the liquid from the Blob’s housing chamber and rigged with the high-tech spray nozzles are set off by Brother Buzi and Brother Abandon high up in the rafters of the arena. The spray is only focused on the fans. The wrestlers in the ring and announcer team are untouched by the holy liquescent substance.

Chris Rodgers: Good God! What the hell is that smell?

Scott Slade: It’s those damn cult members! They're spraying something from the rafters!

Chris Rodgers: It’s a God damn chemical weapons attack! Those nut jobs are poisoning us all!

Everyone not touched by the Blobs essence begins to vomit uncontrollably including Chris and Scott. Suddenly the panic stops and the crowd drops down onto their left knee and raise their right arms towards the rafters. The live feed is cut by the M.O.X crew under orders from Rupert Mudcock himself. Then the lights grow dim inside the arena and the decrepit Dr. Summeroff walks out onto the stage in a white lab coat with a microphone in his hand.

Dr. Summeroff: Welcome my brothers and sisters! The gelatinous master has chosen to save you all! You have been baptized in his glorious shower! Welcome to your one true God! Welcome to the family of the Blob!

The once hostile fans in the arena now begin to rejoice hysterically as if on the drug ecstasy. Their brains are flooded with dopamine and they unite arms locked in unison as they begin to hum hymn’s they’ve never known before tonight. Abishag turns his attention to O’Brien lying on the floor in a pool of his vomit. Abishag takes his time getting down from the ring and then begins to beat on the poor little Scotsman.

Dr. Summeroff: That’s right Abishag! Make that barbaric infidel pay for what he did to me last week! I want him to suffer!

The people in the arena continue to sing joyfully as Abishag slams O’Brien face-first into the ring post repeatedly busting him open. After a good minute of pulverizing his face, Abishag drops him onto the floor. No one can do anything except look on while compulsively puking their guts out.

Dr. Summeroff: Abishag! Dispose of these non-believing fools! We have great work to do to help our new found friends understand the true greatness of the Blob!

Ultimate Wrestling will continue… but will it ever be the same?