What did they teach? | part 5 | FOMO [ a murder series ]

This is a murder series. It may be gruesome, it may be bloody but, you could learn something. Or not.

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Sometimes, I get the feeling you are a crusader.

Of the religious kind?

No, fighting for the little guy.

We are all little aren't we? We all have insecurities and experience fear, we are all needy, we all die the same way. The little and the large are not removed from one another, just because one gets their name in the newspaper and the other must use the paper to wipe their ass, doesn't mean they are any different. Luxury is not the differentiation for the relationship is symbiotic in nature, for some to be famous, it requires the masses to not be, and without the masses, there is no fame. Society is not the problem, we are, for we are society.

You say we all have fears, what scares you?

Time. There is never enough of it. People think that it is Money that makes the world go round, others love, the most correct might say it is tax but, they are all wrong. It is time, at least for humans as nature does not care for concept.

What do you mean by this?

Everything we do, whether it be make money, pay tax or love our partners is marked by time. Schedules, dates, hourly rates, anniversaries. It is the way we track our lives, mark our existence and even though it is a concept, to us, it makes life real and therefore we are unable to live in the moment for the moment always passes untracked unless in hindsight or expectation.

Why does this create fear in you?

This life is a journey, a stringing together of moments uncountable that make up all of the movement of life. Time is our way of tracking movements, psychologically, learning is a movement and there is so much I want to learn, but, here I am without enough time. My mind will go, my body wither to dust and all of the things I wanted to learn will go unlearned and all the things that have been learned, will amount to nothing. It seems pointless and the human in me recognises the situation as something to fear.

And the non-human?

I am human. I fear. However, under contemplation, I have come to terms with this feature of our existence, a knowing of our pre-ordained and inevitable fate before it has come about and decided, it is what it is. What option is there otherwise? Do I lay down to die, do I act as an animal on instinct alone or, do I accept fate and learn anyway? I choose learn.

What did you learn about time?

It should never be wasted, there is always work to be done. Even in relaxation, if you are going to relax, do not waste the time by thinking of activity, relax completely and effortlessly. But, when it is time to work, do not cut corners for the sake of relaxation, work completely. And, do not spend your time on people who are trying to waste it.

Did you ah, 'teach' someone this lesson?

I did. It was a girl who had a lot of potential in front of her but unfortunately, it was cut short but, that was well before I got to her.

The gamer?

Yes. She was talented once you know and filled with promise and optimism about her future but, at some point, the effort required to learn took too much time and whilst she loved what she did, to excel at it was a hard path. So instead, she slowly dropped her talents by the wayside, put down the violin and chemistry books and picked up a controller instead. Hour upon hour staring at a screen, she was good at that too, so good it consumed her mind.

Wasn't it her choice?

Of course! We are all responsible for our position in this life as I am for taking hers. The difference between her and I is that I actively move and always accept the consequences of my actions. She was unhappy with her place in life, depressed with her station and missed doing the things she previously loved but, was unwilling to put down the controller, move her eyes from the screen, stand up and take responsibility for her life.

Couldn't she have changed with guidance?

Guidance? Everything is there already, it is basic knowledge, common sense and any simpleton can see the path forward yet, most turn a blind eye for that path takes work and work is to be avoided at any cost. They sit with their mind and time consumed wondering why they have not found their passion, wondering when their chance at happiness will come. Happiness. It is just a feeling and one that can never last. People buy into some bullshit concepts. Stand up, move, put in some effort into this life and you will understand. Avoid work, thinking and action and you will feel. Feel shit.

What did you teach her?

I taught her that in those final moments, after all of the hours, days and years wasted sitting in front of a screen consuming the creations of others, she wanted to still live. She learned that what she had been doing was wasting away.

How?

She begged as the cord from the console tightened, she cried that she was young and had not experienced the world, had not been able to have a family or a career, had not yet the opportunity to fall in love. No opportunity? What were the last ten years as the only impression she made on the world was that of her ass in the couch? In those moments, she realised that her time had run out and her expectations of one day had come to an end.

Do you think she understood the lesson?

Her last words were, 'Please, just a little more time'. We all want just a little extra when there is no more left to get, don't we?

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]

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