Alone in the Pack

She struggled and kicked but her energy was gone, there was no more she could do, she had given it her all and had been defeated. the fight was done and now it would take and consume her, as it did all things. 

She had swam into the middle as she had done many times before but this time, her muscles had cramped in the cold waters. Once upon a time, this would have caused little more than an annoyance but she no longer had the strength of youth to power through. It was the way she was raised, do what you do until you can do no more. Simple.

She had led an interesting life, limited by her weaknesses, empowered by her strengths. She was vastly different to the others in her family, but always considered a vital member, a part of the pack. Her looks had scared many in the beginning but her mother had fought hard to keep her safe, protect her from those who would mean her harm, those who later became family.

She took no offence to their attitudes of the past as sh understood that they had no option, it was was in their nature to fear what is different and when there are numbers and a way of life to protect, erring on the side of caution was the normal course of action. Once their fear had diminished though, as she played and ran and jumped with the other children, they loved her as fiercely as her mother did.

Her mother was long gone now, as were many others from those times. He difference was not just pearance, there was more to it than that, she was special, long lived and saw the world like none other. She had seen her mother, her brothers and sisters, her nieces and nephews and their children pass on, become skin and bone and eventually the very dust on which she walked.

She did not know why she was this way, why she was different, she just knew that she was. Her body grew more slowly, she was dependent on others for much longer than normal, she was often weak, sick and easily injured. But in time, she learned to manage and then learn to use her deformities in ways others could not. Being different had advantages and her family soon realised hers.

She could go where they could not, see from where they could not, hunt in ways they could not and provide what they could not. She became a specialised tool, valuable to the community in ways they had neverexperienced before, a whole world of possibility had opened to them and they were able to expand and grow faster and stronger with her in their midst.

But, they knew she would never be one of them, never be able to create another, she was too different and her time was limited too, as each of theirs was. This was about potential, opportunistic advantages provided and the way of the world is to eat when there is food for it does not always ome easily. She was happy in this position, happy being a provider, a protector of family, as her mother had been for her.

The family was important, a strong and healthy community was the difference between life and death, satisfaction, hunger or complete starvation. An individual rarely survived when times became difficult and one would fight to remain within the community rather than face the world alone. But, when one became a liability to the group, it was time to move on.

This was now her time, she had to move on. Her body had aged and weakened, she had become increasingly forgetful, increasingly clumsy and no longer healed like she once had. She could no longer provide, only consume. So she moved on by choice, she was not asked, it was necessary, it was what must be done.

She said her goodbyes, she patted the heads of the little ones that crowded her ankles and saw the eyes of the elders as they understood that times will now change. What has survived for generations, protected them for so long, would be no more, they would lose their advantage, lose their tool, lose one of their own, no matter how different.

she had stood at the lakes edge as the mist shrouded the tall trees on the other side. She knew it was a risk, knew that her chances were slim but the long walk around the edge just seemed too long. Better take the plunge and see if opportunity would feed her one more time. If it did not, it did not matter as eventually all become dust, she had seen it many times before, it was nothing to fear.

In she walked, the cold bit at her legs but deeper she waded until her toes could no longer touch and she must paddle her weak arms, onward and onward until onward slowed to a stop and she was only half way. the mists surrounding, no strength to go forward, no power to go back.

She struggled to keep her head above water for life will always fight death but as she sank, her eyes widening as her lungs filled with dark waters, she smiled. She knew that she had lived a life, provided for those she cared for and those who had welcomed her in, loved her for her, used her for her despite her differences. She had lived a valuable life, a life of opportunity and community.

She was raised a wolf, she died a wolf.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]