Modern Monsters (Halloween Special)
”Good evening everyone, and welcome to Modern Monsters, the new radio show about..”, I stop and frown. The whole idea feels very dumb now. I was convinced from the start that my colleagues are just playing a bad trick on me, sending me to this house on Halloween to do a radio interview with … monsters. Like, seriously? Sure, sent the dumb intern away so you can have a party without her.
Frustrated, I blow a strand of hair out of my face. A raindrop hits my nose.
”Oh for fuck’s sake. I’ll go home.” I put my voice recorder back in my pocket and turn around to walk back where I came from when suddenly the door to the house I’ve been standing in front of opens. It’s an old house and the door creates a loud and painful squeaking noise.
”Don’t you want to come in, young lady?” A thin voice, like old parchment paper, asks from the inside. It’s dark in there and grey out here so I don’t really see anyone.
”I’m sorry, I was sent here as a prank I think. I didn’t want to bother you.”
”But we’ve been waiting for you! We were really looking forward to this interview.” The voice sounds sad. I sigh.
”Sure, I’m coming inside.” I make my way up the stairs and enter the house. The heavy door closes behind me with another heartbreaking noise. A candle is lit and I look into the face of a very old, very thin and very pale man about my size. Wow, he’s tiny.
”So you’re Mr. ….?” My voice trails off, leaving an open question.
”Please, call me Elisei.” He gestures me to follow him and leads me into a room with a big couch and a warm open fire. ”Would you like something? Some hot chocolate?” Elisei asks me with a slight smile.
”Hot chocolate sounds awesome, thank you!” I reply. He nods and leaves to go to the kitchen. When he returns he’s holding two cups, both steaming.
”So your editor called and said that you’ll have some questions for me and my housemates. Would you like to begin?” Elisei’s eyes seem to glisten. I feel very bad for him.
”I’m afraid my editor has been … misinformed. He said that I should … that I … that you …” I look into my cup. ”That you’re a vampire.” With horrible embarrassment twisting my insides, I wait for the response that will surely ridicule me. @suesa
”But, my dear, I am a vampire!”
I stare at him. He grins and reveals huge fangs. I swallow, hard. Then I take out my voice recorder.
”How long have you been alive Mr. ….. Elisei, I mean?” The vampire gives me an even wider grin.
”Alive? For about 20 years. But a vampire? I’ll celebrate my 300th re-birthday soon.”
”And what is it like to … live … as a vampire?”
”Oh, it used to be great. So much power. So many pretty women.” He suddenly seems very far away. ”They used to love me, you know? Gave me their blood willingly, back in the old country. They don’t do that anymore. For some time, I needed to take blood from the unwilling. I hated that.” His facial expression returns to the here and now.
”I found a way to avoid feeding on humans”, he reveals.
”So what are you doing instead?”, I ask.
”Supplements.”
”Excuse me? I think I don’t understand.”
”My dear”, he says, ”what is human blood? What does it contain? I mean if you really break it down? Electrolytes, vitamins, glucose, amino acids and several types of blood cells. The best thing about red blood cells is the iron. It took me some time to figure out what exactly I need but now? Now I can keep myself alive with just the right cocktail of supplements. The health industry has done wonders for my kind.”
I look at him. He doesn’t look too healthy.
”Thank you for your time, Elisei”, I say. ”This was quite interesting.”
”My pleasure, my pleasure. Shall I escort you to the next one you can interview?”
”Sure.” No, please don’t. This is weird.
I suppress my inner voice and follow the supplement vampire deeper into the house. In front of a closed door, we stop and he knocks.
”Knusper, knusper Knäuschen, wer knuspert an meinem Häuschen?“ Elisei rolls his eyes in response to the voice from the inside.
”Elfriede, please. You knew we’d be having a guest. And you know she doesn’t speak German.” The door opens and a woman, at least as old as the vampire, looks at us.
”You’re no fun, Elisei”, she says with a heavy German accent. Then she turns to me and looks me up and down. ”Oh, Schätzchen you’re way too thin! You need some good sweets so you can have some good meat on your bones!”
I turn to Elisei but he … is gone. Now I must decide. Run? Or follow this weird German lady, this …
”Witch”, Elfriede helpfully completes my thoughts.
Wait.
”Did you just … “
”Yes. Witchcraft is a wonderful thing. Now come in, come in, I won’t bite, I promise. And what’s promised is promised and won’t be broken.”
She’s weird but I’ve accepted my fate and follow her in.
She prompts me to sit down on one of the two huge wooden rocking chairs and I follow her request.
”Do you want something sweet to eat?” The witch asks. I decline as politely as possible but she still looks disappointed. ”Nobody wants sweets anymore, she complains.”
”What do you mean?”
”In the good old days, oh yes, they all wanted all the sugar they could get their hands on. But now? It’s all just gluten free and sugar-free and low fat and so disgustingly healthy. When I was young you could build a gingerbread house and expect at least one child a week to wander in. You could fatten them up and put them in the oven. It was perfect.”
”What changed?” I can’t believe I’m asking this question.
”Kids these days, they don’t leave the house anymore. A third of the children in this country are overweight, it could be a feast! But they just sit at home and eat, all depressed. They don’t wander around. And the ones that do leave the house are all weird. Don’t want sweets from strangers. I tried switching to whole-grain and less sugar but the kids I did catch with that … they just didn’t taste right. Such a waste.”
”So you’re saying the obesity crisis in the USA caused a food shortage for you?”
”You could say it like that.” She chuckles. ”But it has its good sides too. When I was forced to leave the woods, I moved in with Elisei and the other two wonderful people living here. They are such good friends.”
”Who are the others?” I ask.
”Well, there’s Gherardo but you won’t be able to talk with him right now, I’m afraid.”
”Why?”
”We’re having a full moon.”
”So he is a werewolf?” My heart beats quicker. ”Am I in danger?”
”Oh no, Liebchen, no, of course not. He hasn’t been forced to turn in some time. But he’s unconscious right now.”
”Unconscious? Why?”
”The drugs he takes. Heroin. It keeps him from turning into that monster, for whatever reason. He says the euphoria it induces prevents the changes he is usually forced to go through. But he’s been using it for too long so he has to take a lot. He often overdoses, and it knocks him out completely. But his werewolf body can’t be killed by it and he regenerates before he dies.”
”That’s horrible!” I call out.
”It could be worse. The drug usually does worse things to those who use it. Infected hearts, collapsed veins, abscesses and organ damage aren’t rare for those who abuse the drug. At least his body heals again.”
I can almost feel the werewolf’s pain. How desperate must one be to cause oneself so much pain? I close my eyes and try to banish the visions of a man pushing a needle into the veins of his arm.
”Are you alright?” Elfriede the witch asks me. I nod, slowly.
”Can I meet your last housemate?” I ask. ”I think I need to leave soon.”
”Of course, but I’m not sure if he will talk to you. Follow me.”
We walk along the corridor and stop in front of a huge closet. Elfriede knocks.
”Jerry? The delightful young reporter wants to do the interview now. I know Elisei told you. Don’t hide.”
”Go away”, a faint voice from the inside answers. ”I don’t want to talk to her. Please.”
”If you don’t I will invite all the other witches from my circle to come here for the next winter solstice.”
The door of the closet opens.
”OH PLEASE DON’T! They would stay for a week and I couldn’t leave this closet once the whole time!”
”Be nice”, the witch says, pats my shoulder and walks away cackling.
I find myself in front of … an empty closet.
”Jerry?” I ask hesitantly.
”Yes?” A voice answers out of nowhere.
”Are you invisible?”
”Oh … yes …. Is that a problem?”
”No, this is a radio interview anyway. But why …”
”Radio? Oh no my voice sounds so awful when it’s recorded! Please don’t.”
”Well I can’t do it any other way, I’m sorry.” I can hear the ghost … swallow?
”I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just have such extreme social anxiety.”
”A ghost with social anxiety? That’s unusual.”
”I know.” He sounds very, very young and very, very alone.
”I’ve only turned into a ghost recently, you know? There was a school shooting, two years ago …” His voice trails off, but he doesn’t need to elaborate. I remember. It had been an awful day for our city.
”Let’s talk about something you like, then. What were your hobbies when you were still alive?”
I chat with the ghost for ages and he ends up telling me the story of his whole, sad life. Suddenly, it strikes midnight and my cell phone rings at the same time. I pick it up.
”Mona? Where are you? We’re waiting for you at the party! Aren’t you coming?” It’s my editor.
”I’m just wrapping up this interview you sent me to”, I say, slightly annoyed. He knows exactly where I am!
”What interview? It’s Halloween, I wouldn’t send you to an interview today! Come to the party before you miss everything.”
He hangs up.
”Ugh, I’m sorry Jerry, I need to leave”, I say. But nobody answers. ”Jerry?” Still, no reaction. He seems to have left.
I stand up from the floor I’ve been sitting on and brush some dust from my pants. Weird. It didn’t seem so dusty when I sat down earlier.
I decide to say goodbye to Elfriede before I leave. But when I arrive at the witch’s room, the door stands wide open and the room … is empty. Only dusty spider webs are visible in the corners. What the …
I walk down the stairs, into the living room. It’s empty too. No trace of the fire or the cup of hot chocolate Elisei had given me earlier. The house is empty and dead.
I step outside and the cool autumn rain hits my face. I look at my phone. It’s five minutes past midnight and the 1st of November.
Halloween is over.
Inspired by @em3 ‘s Steem-O-Ween I’m opening my “front porch” a few days later than planned in the post and those of you who made it to the end of this story can now trick or treat in my comments!
Just comment “Trick or Treat” (once) under this post and you’ll receive an upvote for it! But only until the clock strikes twelve (UTC+1) and it isn’t Halloween any longer …
(Known spammers are excluded from this.)
Edit: If my voting power runs out before all eligible comments have an upvote, I'll upvote them in the following days!
References:
Pictures taken from pixabay.com
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I want this to be a movie I can watch so bad! You are gifted. And the best part is, you are so addicted to science that it has to be felt in most of your reads. That's your strength!
Ps; Someone please draw that german witch, lol. I am quite interested in having a visual :D
I recommend watching "What we do in the Shadows". It's a "documentary" about vampire roommates and incredibly hilarious.
Interesting. I will definitely find it. Great read up there!
Schätzchen, dass ist eine süß-Säure Halloween story😜Great 👍🏽I enjoyed really the way you wrote it! Greatings from Germany my dear. Vampire, ghosts, werewolfs, witchcrafts!!! Everything in perfect story-Harmony in! Thanks for it💎😘🕊
Trick or treat 😊
This story is awesome, i felt like i was in the house with you and my favourite character is Elfriede, but did you eventually figure out who sent you to the house in the first place to do the interview?
hii @suesa, good evening you too. "Trick & Treat." nice to read that story, you always do creative work.radio interview with monsters that's awesome. interesting article on haloween. best of luck.
Good evening to u I loved reading this ..Trick or Treat
😃
Trick or Treat!
Wow! I read every line of your fiction!! That is awesome. I have seen lots of vampire /werewolf movies/tv series . So that I am familiar with the plot of the story.
You are really good story teller/maker.
Treek & trööt, as you say "trick and treat" in German.
Oh I know you don't, I just find it amusing if someone would believe this.
Two comments I want to say about this:
I've read about something similar, why do not vampires feed on something similar to human blood? The best explanation I've heard is that they would be feeding on some kind of "life force" in the blood, not the blood itself.
The witch thing.. I can feel her pain. When eating animals, it maters what the animal has been feeding on. Bad food for animal causes bad meat. My mother in law has eaten seagull and she said it tasted like fish.
Trick or Treat!
🎃Trick Or Treat🎃
Trick or Treat
It's been a while since I've last read your work, and I must say it felt just like the fist time. The community is growing exponentially, and we get lost trough the maze. I think it was World War 3 that I last read in full. You deserve all the success you are getting, such a brilliant mix between science and fictional like always. Best of luck!