At the Hospital (Numb, Part 2)
Read Part 1
The hospital room is completely white and smells like disinfectant. I try to appreciate the fact that it’s clean as it’s preferable for a hospital to be as sterile as possible. But my newly found emotions seem to want to go another way.
I’m afraid.
It feels like someone made me drink huge amounts of ice cold water and then left me out in the snow without any clothing. My body feels cold, almost numb as I sit here, waiting for the doctor. Waiting for him to tell me everything will be alright.
Hope.
Another emotion I hadn’t known before, only read about. This one feels nicer. Warmer, somehow. Why do emotions feel like a temperature? There was nothing about this in the books they made us read. Those books had been so detailed in their warnings about emotions, I wonder why they had left out something so basic. @suesa
Rubber soles come squeaking closer and the doctor enters through the open door of my room. His expressionless face makes me calm down a bit. At least he’s a qualified professional and not a slave of his emotions. He can surely help me.
”How are you feeling?” He asks me. Some decades ago, this would have been a normal question.
”Too much”, I answer truthfully. ”I feel a wide set of emotions. Is there a way to reverse this, please?”
The doctor looks me up and down.
”You were injected with something, yes?”
”Yes. A man attacked me out of nothing and stabbed me with a needle.”
”That’s too bad”, the doctor says. ”We can’t do anything about that.”
I blink. Twice.
”What do you mean?” I ask, my voice is shaking. Damn emotions.
”You’re not the first one who suffered from one of these attacks. It hasn’t been possible to heal any of the victims. We had been forced to terminate them for the safety of our society.”
”But I’m not a danger to anyone!” My outcry makes him shakes his head.
”You don’t even realize how much these emotions have already altered your personality. It’s a shame, really. Such a healthy young woman who hasn’t even produced an adequate amount of children yet. These terrorists need to be stopped.”
He’s serious. He’s going to kill me.
Maybe he is right in his decision. After all, emotions are dangerous. I slump down on the bed and look to the floor. Of course, he can’t just let me roam free, not when it’s not possible to heal me from this awful disease.
”There is really nothing you can do?” I ask, collecting my last bit of hope. ”No experimental procedure? Nothing?” He shakes his head.
”The process is not reversible, not without permanently damaging your brain so much that you’d spend the rest of your life in a vegetative state.”
”That’s … that’s horrible. But why?”
”It’s because of the process used to suppress this horrid disease right after birth. Emotions mostly happen in the prefrontal cortex and the amygdalae, which are regions of the brain. Neurons send information which is then interpreted either positively or negatively. As soon as a child is born, we surgically alter these interpreting regions to process all input as neutral. There are also regions of the brain that are specifically activated when a human tries to regulate and even suppress emotions. Through certain drugs, we make those parts hyperactive so that any emotion that might still go through will be eradicated immediately.”
This sounds highly efficient and like a logical step. But why does this information make me clench my teeth? And … is that disgust?
*”And what exactly does the drug I was given by that man, that terrorist, do?”
”Ah”, the doctor says. ”That one took a while to figure out. It seems it’s a chemical that manages to reactivate the primitive interpretation of emotions and restores the normal functions of the suppression system. Surprisingly sophisticated for a bunch of barbarians I must say. Whenever we tried to return a brain to its previous state, the brain damage was immense.”
”So there is nothing you can do?”
”Nothing but a termination of life. If you would now please follow me to the morgue? It will save time.”
I follow his request and stand up from the bed to walk with him towards the morgue. Each step feels heavier than the previous one and I need to fight my own body to continue moving forward. My eyes feel wet. Tears roll down my cheeks.
I don’t want to die.
I don’t want to die!
I don’t want to die!
Suddenly, I find myself standing outside the hospital. I can’t remember what happened between me following the doctor and me standing here. I scratch my head in confusion.
My hand is wet.
I look at it and the sight of blood almost makes me vomit for the second time today. I look at my other hand. It is holding a scalpel. A scalpel I remember sticking out of the doctor’s pocket. Why did he have a scalpel in his pocket?
Fragments of what happened return to my memory.
Me grabbing the scalpel. The doctor turning around, probably to ask me what I am doing. Me lunging forward and stabbing the scalpel into his main artery.
Blood. So much blood.
I fall down to my knees and let out a horrible cry.
A hand on my shoulder, warm and weirdly comforting. I look up and look into Lucifer’s face.
”Are you alright?” He asks. He sounds genuinely worried.
”What did you do to me”, I whisper. ”You made me a murderer.”
”Hush now”, he says and pulls me up. ”You acted in self-defense. They were about to kill you. Now come with me, we need to get you to safety before they realize what you’ve done. Come, I will guide you.”
We leave the hospital behind us.
It begins to rain.
References & Further Reading:
How the brain processes emotions
"Understanding Positive and Negative Emotion"
Brain system for emotional self-control discovered
Picture taken from pixabay.com
Got a scientific topic which you want to see as a story? Leave me a comment!
You want to support scientists on Steemit? You are a scientist on Steemit? Join the #steemSTEM channel on steemit.chat and connect with us!
STEM is an acronym for Science, Technology, Engineering and Math
Love it!, I wonder though is it truly self defense?...is it just me or does anyone else feel sorry for the doctor? I mean his emotions were probably suppressed and he just needed a jab, I guess she had no choice....I wonder if they bring the system down??, looking forward to reading more...
Maybe he's not dead. Maybe medical science in this world is advanced enough to save him (he is stabbed in the best place one can be stabbed - a hospital!). Perhaps she just THINKS she's a murderer when in fact this is all planned in advance. Explains the lack of big nurses "helping" her to the morgue. In any case, it's self defense. If a dog attacks you and you kill it, it doesn't help feeling sorry for the dog. You did what needed to be done to save yourself.
It's a bit like zombies... if there's a "cure" then you shouldn't kill them right?
He's probably dead. And if the answer to the little problem with emotions was death, they probably don't bother with saving that many lives.
And did she need to kill him? Maybe she could have just walked away... but those emotions, they make you do crazy things...
I really like where the story is going, but I do have some editor comments.
I am looking forward to additional chapters!
I used to write in thr past tense but noticed that, for some reason, English is easier for me to write in the present tense (I'm German). I don't plan on publishing it elsewhere because I'd need to rewrite it completely, not just the tense. And I only publish books in German anyway.
About your second point: just because :P my readers are usually not as critical as you. I don't have much time to write and do the stories on a day to day basis. No time to revise, no time for elegant solutions. And you can only do so much in 1000 words.
I try not to exceed 1k words because then people won't read it, not on here. But I also need constant action, constantly need to drive the plot. This results in stuff like this.
The stories I publish here are steemit-adjusted.
Thank you for your honest feedback and I'm glad you're still looking forward to more parts despite the weaknesses!
I only make suggestions cause I care. <3
Honestly, this is a good first draft. I dump my first drafts on steemit literally looking for people to point out plot holes (and typos). Dumped one at 2AM last night. Had to read it again this morning to remember what I even wrote.
Most of my writing is in English, but some is in Hebrew. I find that I write in English mostly because I get a larger audience. Also, Hebrew is not a very colorful language, or easy to write science fiction in.
Wow, really?
It seems reasonable, though. Use logic to explain something and try to get your crazy illogical patient to perhaps see some reason.
Yes. After all, she has spent her whole life following reason. The doctor can expect a certain behavior, even if she's emotional.
The 1k thing is mostly experience, not real statistics.
About your questions in the other comment, I'll think of some good answers!
This is why you should avoid emotional people. Sooner or later, you will find yourself stabbed to death.
😱 OMFGs.....
I didn't want you to die too... And I agree you did what you had to do but you have a murder charge on your hands now. I 'hope' they don't find you... :D
So interesting! Patiently waiting for the next chapter.
Great to know how the brain processes emotions.
Thanks for sharing.
That was great, I can't wait for the next post!
Unusual and interesting story, I'm waiting for the continuation :)
Emotional people must be avoided because they are the ones who challenge us in the other
Science and tecnology...
Thank's for sharing