Interview With A Psychopath - Middling CPS Case Worker (SATIRE)

A frank chat with a compartmentalized goon from the CPS mafia.  

Media Stooge:  Good evening, all you passive consumers of information out there! Welcome to another edition of “Interview With A Psychopath” here on BNN! Today I’ve got the privilege of interviewing a middling case worker for Child Protective Services mob, Robbie McRobberson. (turns to smug control freak, Robbie) Welcome to the show!

McRobberson:  I can’t believe I’m on TV! You have no idea how much TV I’ve watched! For as long as I can remember!

Media Stooge:  Great to see the social engineering programming has full sway over you! It’s what helps make your job and all of the evils it entails mentally possible.  Robbie, how long have you been working for the extortion-funded child snatching operation known as CPS?

McRobberson:  My tenth anniversary is coming up next week! I’m so excited!

Media Stooge:  Well, congratulations are in order.  Will you have a celebration? Perhaps with some weaponized GMO and chemical cocktail cake?
McRobberson:  Whatever Wal-Mart sells!

Media Stooge (facepalm):  That’s just super, Robbie.  (rolls eyes) So Robbie, can you estimate how many families you’ve helped wreck in the ten years you’ve been with the criminal enterprise known as CPS?

McRobberson:  Well, like you say, I just play my role.  There are lots of people involved in each individual case.

Media Stooge:  Like other order-followers, paper pushers, smug control freaks, pseudo-scientists, and pedophiles?

McRobberson:  It’s a team effort.  But I’d say I’ve been personally involved in at least a few thousand cases.    

Media Stooge:  Wow! A few thousand children brainwashed, stolen, and/or experimented on thanks to your participation in a dark system of exploitation! Your family must be so proud.    

McRobberson:  Oh, yeah, for sure.  My mom worked in parking enforcement and my dad was a cop, so they’re real happy with my line of work.

Media Stooge:  Ah, so being ignorant tools of the dark occult ruling minority runs in the family, I see.
McRobberson:  The what?

Media Stooge:  Never mind.  Let’s move on.  Can you give us some specifics as to what actions you actually take regarding your work with CPS? (excited) I’m sure our brainwashed audience would find such a mundane routine of evil to be quite riveting!

McRobberson:  Oh, sure, I’d be happy to.  So I wake up around 6am and put on a pot of coffee.  Then I check on my cat, Fluffaluffagus.  After that, I…. 

Media Stooge interrupts.    

Media Stooge:   Slightly more detail than I was looking for.  Just the details regarding your actual time at a CPS office or while on a home invasion.    

McRobberson:  Oh, right, sure.  So I spend most of my time at the office, sending emails, drinking coffee, taking state-mandated breaks, reading new regulations,   

Media Stooge interrupts again.    

Media Stooge:  Let me stop ya there for a moment.  So new regulations happen frequently?
McRobberson:  Yeah, almost every day.  A rule or policy is always getting streamlined somewhere.

Media Stooge (puzzled):  Streamlined? You think that creating new regulations causes simplification?
McRobberson:  Yeah, they try.    

Media Stooge;  By “they” do you mean a countless number of people who you don’t know and will never meet and are moral relativists just like you?

McRobberson:  Uh, yeah, I guess.  I’m not sure what a moral relativist is, though.  Does that have to do with Einstein or somethin?

Media Stooge (cheshire grin):  Of course you don’t know.  People at your level never do.  Please, continue explaining the tasks you perform for the CPS authoritarian mafia.  If you can, speak specifically about what you do during a home invasion.

McRobberson:  Oh, sure, that’s the most important part.  So on an initial visit, I try to look around and see if I can find anything that is an obvious red flag.    

Media Stooge:  Like possession of a medicinal plant called Cannabis?
McRobberson:  Yeah, that’s definitely on the no-no list.    

Media Stooge:  What a remarkable vocabulary you have!  A testament to the indoctrination system, to be sure.    
McRobberson:  Yeah, I’ve got a master’s degree!

Media Stooge:  Master’s in memorization, no doubt.  So what happens after you’re done snooping?
McRobberson:  I have a talk with the parents, or single parent, whatever the case may be.  I also try to have a separate talk with the child.

Media Stooge:  And why do you speak with the child separately? So you can more easily manipulate them?
McRobberson:  Well, I don’t know if I’d phrase it quite like that, but it does help get the outcome we want.

Media Stooge:  Outcome, meaning, finding an excuse to steal the child.    
McRobberson:  I don’t really think I’d use that term, either, but yes, the desired outcome is to get the child away from their current situation.    

Media Stooge:  And what do you talk about with the parents and the child?   
McRobberson:  It depends on the situation.  For example, maybe a neighbor called us because the child was outside unsupervised.  There are certain questions we ask if neglect is suspected.  

Media Stooge:  You mean the child was doing an activity outside without accompaniment by an adult?
McRobberson:  That’s right.

Media Stooge:  Wow, children playing and exploring outside without adults has been going on for thousands of years! Good to see the government gang has criminalized natural behavior, yet again!  Where would be be without the state? Well, you’d be looking for honest work, I suppose.  Anyway, please continue.    

McRobberson:  Yeah, so anyway, maybe the child hasn’t been going to school.

Media Stooge:  Which is a huge no-no in the psychopathic, totalitarian slave grid we all love and enjoy.  Everyone must get scientifically crafted behavioral training! (looks into camera with wry smile, winks)   

McRobberson:  Another thing that we commonly find is those darned anti-vaxxers.    
Media Stooge:  Anti-vaxxers?

McRobberson:  Yeah, ya know, those people that don’t want their children to get vaccinated.    
Media Stooge:  Ah, yes, people that know about self-ownership and don’t want to poison themselves.  How dare they!

McRobberson:  Yeah, I get really pumped up and aggressive when I confront people like that.    
Media Stooge:  Do ya start frothing at the mouth?

McRobberson:  I’ll be honest, yeah, sometimes I do.

Media Stooge: Tell me, Robbie, what happens to the children after they’re kidnapped from home?

McRobberson (fidgety):  Ah, gee, I dunno.  I’m not really supposed to get into details about stuff like that.

Media Stooge:  Well, surely, if it’s a good work, then you should be proud to speak freely of it.  Evil deeds are carried out under cloak of darkness.  

McRobberson:  Yeah, it’s just, ya know, I don’t wanna get in trouble.    

Media Stooge:  Robbie, you’ll be relieved to know that I spoke with your boss, and was told that you’re free to talk about this.

McRobberson:  Really? Well, if it’s ok with the boss, then sure.  So one organization we work closely with is Catholic Charities and….

Two men in black run frantically onto the stage.  One whispers into McRobberson’s ear.  McRobberson’s face drops.  The men in black sprint off.    

Media Stooge:  McRobberson, no need to explain.  I get visits sometimes, too.  I’m afraid we’re out of time, anyway.  (turns to camera) That’s all for this edition of “Interview With A Psychopath”! Stay tuned for more social engineering propaganda here on BNN! Goodnight! 

Thanks for your time and attention!

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