Interview with a dwarf
In tonight's show - Dinner with Alec-
Our star guest is a dwarf mr. Shamur Rockhorn
Welcome to the show mr. Rockhorn!
Thank you for inviting me Alec. When i saw your last interview, with an Orc Clanlord I realized this could also be a good posibility to introduce dwarf culture to you humans.
And explain you will mr. Rockhorn. First I would like you to start by introducing yourself !
As you mentioned I am Shamur Rockhorn, I am the owner of the richest mine after the Royal mines, and also I serve as a special consultant for the king, His Highness Lodar Bronzehammer.
Wow. Special consultant to the king himself. How would you describe His Highness?
He is the bright star that leads our communities. His will is undisputable. He is the 14th generation of Bronzehammers who serve as kings of the Dwarfish lands. That is for more than 2000 years now we have been governed by the Royal Family, and our might and influence has been growing continuously during their reign.
That sure is true, dwarves are considered to be the richest of all races. Is it true that every other race owes large sums of money to your banks?
I am sorry but you must understand, I will not give out any business information because those information are highly classified. What I can say is that we invest money in other communities. Our king teaches us that we can only prosper if everyone around us prosper. Wounds of the Great gold war that happened 150 years ago are still fresh in our minds. Our fathers and your grandfathers fought in that war. And that tragedy occured only because of the great wealth difference between our two great races. We have learned lessons from our history.
I agree, it is better to build partnerships than weapons of war. Now let us switch to easier topics. Do all dwarves live underground?
That is one of the most common stereotypes about us, but no. Some of us live underground, including me but don't forget we were the first race to master the art of flying. So the answer is no. Not all of us live below ground. We are inovators, engineers, traders, bankars, miners and entrepreneurs, and that is our nature. We bacame this successful due to our boldness, bravery, sturdiness and most of all our curiousity.
But you owe your wealth to mines, right?
Yes, our mines were our first lucrative business, but it would be all in vain if we have not established trade routes and further invested our profits.
So you probably know we humans also are always trying new ways to improve our society, so I guess we have that in common. I am also interested in some rumours that dwarves are the only race besides elves that can use magic. There have been some reports from the Great gold war of so called Thunderbringers.
War is now behind us all, so I can give you some exclusive information on this. So as you know the ability to control natural energy - magicka is called magic. Some dwarves are born with magicka producing cells. There are only few of them, maybe 1 or 2 newborns out of 10000. But the problem is that those cells although they exist, are dormant. Purely by accident we have discovered the way to activate them. Some miners, who were exposed to certain minerals that radiate on low frequencies, started to change. Their dormant cells activated, and they started experiencing rushes of magicka. Slowly over time they started to control it, thus becoming trained in the art of magic. But it came with a price. Those who practised magic grew old very fast. While they got to the age of 45 their body was the body of 150 year old dwarf. None of them survived to be 50 years old. As you mentioned in the Great gold war there were dwarves willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. They volunteered to be exposed to radiating minerals so their dormant cells would wake up. We called them Garshalis meaning Heroes in old dwarvish. You called them Thunderbringers.
- Those were sad times. Luckily we are allies now, so I strongly believe non of it happen again.
Before we go to commercials I really must read some fan requests after last weeks interview with an Orc
I want to be an Orc now, will they accept me
I want to see female elf's boobies
Can you host a goblin and ask him if they are haunting my mother-in-law's house
Ask your dwarf guest if all dwarves have beards
So one final question from the audience before commercials. Is it true that all dwarves have beards?
Yes it is true. I know it is kind of strange to you but even our females have beards. For us it is strange that your females don't have beards.
Thank you mr. Shamur Rockhorn. We will be back after some messages from our sponsors.
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Mixing fantasy world with modern one has always been one of my favorite. This is really really nice.
thanks. I wanted to write even more, but on the other hand, I dont want the post to be too long. I also wrote the interview with an Orc, and in both of these posts I imagined how would modern world look like with couple of races. I got the inspiration when I was drinking coffee with my buddy and we were talking how would the world look like if neandrtals survived to the modern age
Have you seen the movie "Bright"? If not, watch it as soon as possible :)
No I havent seen it but I read about a plot, 2 cops 1 human 1 orc are catching some elves. I am going to watch it when I finish the TV series I am currently watching. It is called Dark. A german mystery series.. you should try
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